Wow... what would be life without the Son Rise program!
I am an incredibly happy Dad right now! When I came home with a promise to go out with my duaghter "trick or treating" for Halloween little did I know that Aditya (who had shown NO INTEREST in this crazy thing until last year) had made plans to join us!
As soon as I was home both of them quickly got ready in their special Halloween costumes. Aditya was the fireman!
Uh-oh! We had only one pumpkin to carry the candy (who knew Aditya would ever want to carry one around?)!
Both voted YES for the last minute decision to let go the pumpkin, and take two Whole Foods paper bags! The twins then took turns leading to the next house to "trick or treat". Every single time he led the group, Aditya went up and clearly and cheerfully smiled and said "Trick or treat"! When I smiled (proudly) and said "Happy Halloween" to the host, Aditya cheerfully said "Happy Halloween" too! Sister seemed delighted too. Last year, only she and I had gone around the neighborhood. This time, she had her own twin brother with her, who was her buddy, her competitor, and sometimes her leader too!
A couple of funny incidents:-) Which also do show some of his current challenges. Outside the first house, there was a huge bowl of candy. We rang the bell anyways to say Trick or treat. When a teenager opened the door, Aditya handed him a KitKat:-) The boy smiled although he probably did not get why this child was giving him candy. Aditya, not having been exposed to Halloween until now, had no idea what to do when presented with a huge bowl of candy. (He knows his parents don't allow him to eat any... so he really was doing the his best:-)
The second host asked "Did you guys just start?" noticing that their bag was empty. Aditya replied "Yes I started going to school. I have completed 50 days of school". Cute.... although I am not sure the host understood why he said that.
The three of us spent that beautiful half an hour, then returned, and without blinking an eye Aditya (and sister too) counted their candy. Then completely ignoring the candy, they went upstairs, washed their hands and came down for some delicious home made dinner by Aai!
Monday, October 31, 2011
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
A few interesting incidents
A. I attended a meeting at the kids' school last week. Next day, Aditya asked me how the meeting went. I told him that it went good and asked him to guess who I met.
Aditya: I don't know. You could tell.
Mom: At the meeting I sat next to Andrew's mom and Natasha's mom.
Aditya (smiling): Oh, so you met Julie and Carrie! (All names changed)
Mom: Oh, wow! I am amazed that you know Andrew and Natasha's moms and you remember their names too!
Aditya: Yes, Carrie aids at PE and Julie helps me write stories.
(At his school, everybody is addresses on a first name basis, including teachers and aiding parents)
I was blown away! A little over two years ago, after we returned from a month long vacation with my parents and brother, he was unable to recognize their pictures. I remember how scared I was in that moment. Today I rejoice as I see him take in the world and remember people for who they are.
As a side note, he enjoyed viewing pictures uploaded from his various class activities and recognized most kids.
B. This morning, after picking up Aditya from school, I was busy in my thoughts, while he was in the playroom, bouncing a ball. He walked down the stairs, talking to me, while I was busy crystalizing my thoughts about a game I wanted to play with him. Coming to me, he said, "Excuse me, Mom! Why are you in your own world?"
Aditya: I don't know. You could tell.
Mom: At the meeting I sat next to Andrew's mom and Natasha's mom.
Aditya (smiling): Oh, so you met Julie and Carrie! (All names changed)
Mom: Oh, wow! I am amazed that you know Andrew and Natasha's moms and you remember their names too!
Aditya: Yes, Carrie aids at PE and Julie helps me write stories.
(At his school, everybody is addresses on a first name basis, including teachers and aiding parents)
I was blown away! A little over two years ago, after we returned from a month long vacation with my parents and brother, he was unable to recognize their pictures. I remember how scared I was in that moment. Today I rejoice as I see him take in the world and remember people for who they are.
As a side note, he enjoyed viewing pictures uploaded from his various class activities and recognized most kids.
B. This morning, after picking up Aditya from school, I was busy in my thoughts, while he was in the playroom, bouncing a ball. He walked down the stairs, talking to me, while I was busy crystalizing my thoughts about a game I wanted to play with him. Coming to me, he said, "Excuse me, Mom! Why are you in your own world?"
C. Today we also had a lengthy discussion on the purpose of making birthday cards and the importance of thoughtfully choosing things of the persons' liking on the card. He said that he really loves his teacher and wants to make a card for her birthday but does not "really know what all she likes" :)
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Changes at school, Kilos and Pounds, and "Social" chit-chat
After watching Aditya inside his class as well as before and after school for about a month, we have requested that Aditya went to school 2 hours a day instead of 4. This continues to give him the opportunity to be in the "real world" (as opposed to his playroom and his home), but it limits the exposure he has to an unpredictable, chaotic world of 6 year olds. It also gives us a chance to provide him with better support (joining) when he ism's after coming back from school.
In the meantime, he continues to be very interested in knowing ways (Pounds, kilos, Newtons, elephants, jars, etc:-) in which people of the world what to measure weight. He also has some concerns what might happen if he mistakenly changed the setting on the scale to read Kilograms instead of Pounds. (He mentioned he was worried about getting a time out for this!) We think that in order to feel in control about this he has been talking of inventing a new scale which knows what measurement to show depending on who stands on it. At another time he mentioned he would be a strict dad and give his daughter (interesting... not son) a 85 minute time-out if she made the mistake of changing the setting when no grown up was watching. She would be given a 170 minute time out if she repeated the same mistake in spite of that.
We discussed this with our teacher, and made sure we were not over-simplifying/over-complicating our response to this. The last thing we told him about this is we were okay for any one in the house to change it to their preferred setting (kg or pounds).... because it was easy to change it back if we did not like it! He seemed to smile when he heard this (was he also feeling relieved?)
Lastly... we have had two new candidates interview for a position on our team. Of course, both were also interviewed by the man himself.
"How was your day" he asked a candidate, who met us yesterday. ("Wow!" I thought when I saw this.)
"My day has been going well. I played with kids. I do that for a job."
"I have a friend named XYZ who used to play with kids at the day care. " ("WOW! A social comment that has no "purpose" besides just flowing with the current conversation!)
"Really, and now he does not play with you?"
"No, he played with me for LIKE a month". (The LIKE is something we have been hearing a lot these days.)
Every new interview, we see a new and improved boss who does his part of the interview!
He also explained what he plays these days (1-touch) to both candidates and clarified himself when he thought they did not get it!
In the meantime, he continues to be very interested in knowing ways (Pounds, kilos, Newtons, elephants, jars, etc:-) in which people of the world what to measure weight. He also has some concerns what might happen if he mistakenly changed the setting on the scale to read Kilograms instead of Pounds. (He mentioned he was worried about getting a time out for this!) We think that in order to feel in control about this he has been talking of inventing a new scale which knows what measurement to show depending on who stands on it. At another time he mentioned he would be a strict dad and give his daughter (interesting... not son) a 85 minute time-out if she made the mistake of changing the setting when no grown up was watching. She would be given a 170 minute time out if she repeated the same mistake in spite of that.
We discussed this with our teacher, and made sure we were not over-simplifying/over-complicating our response to this. The last thing we told him about this is we were okay for any one in the house to change it to their preferred setting (kg or pounds).... because it was easy to change it back if we did not like it! He seemed to smile when he heard this (was he also feeling relieved?)
Lastly... we have had two new candidates interview for a position on our team. Of course, both were also interviewed by the man himself.
"How was your day" he asked a candidate, who met us yesterday. ("Wow!" I thought when I saw this.)
"My day has been going well. I played with kids. I do that for a job."
"I have a friend named XYZ who used to play with kids at the day care. " ("WOW! A social comment that has no "purpose" besides just flowing with the current conversation!)
"Really, and now he does not play with you?"
"No, he played with me for LIKE a month". (The LIKE is something we have been hearing a lot these days.)
Every new interview, we see a new and improved boss who does his part of the interview!
He also explained what he plays these days (1-touch) to both candidates and clarified himself when he thought they did not get it!
Monday, October 3, 2011
Cricket (and breakfast)
What a way to start our week!
Aditya had breakfast in the playroom with Baba (Dad). He decided to eat a little bit, then play a game of Cricket (and it was his demand, not his cricket-crazy dad's!) and then eat the rest of his breakfast.
All in all, he was fully "in control", and relaxed! He and Baba took turns getting each other out, discussing how to play that "yorker", and even pretending to walk back to the Pavillion and coming back as the "new batsman" when someone got out!
Aditya had breakfast in the playroom with Baba (Dad). He decided to eat a little bit, then play a game of Cricket (and it was his demand, not his cricket-crazy dad's!) and then eat the rest of his breakfast.
All in all, he was fully "in control", and relaxed! He and Baba took turns getting each other out, discussing how to play that "yorker", and even pretending to walk back to the Pavillion and coming back as the "new batsman" when someone got out!
Saturday, October 1, 2011
He made A STORYBOOK, then read it to us!
Without further ado....
What you see below are pages from a story book Aditya made all by himself, then read to us, kind of like his class teacher.
(What was that again about autistic children not being able to read body language and facial expressions?)
Since he spells phonetically and writes in his own unique style that we understand but maybe you won't.... I am providing the "text" below each page of the book.
(The cover page: THE TRAIN BOOK Illustrated by Aditya)
(On a bright sunny day, a train co-pilot was very hungry. And a man was eating chocolate cake, and M&Ms and cotton candy and Honey smoothie ice-cream and Kit-Kat. And there was some music. And the co-pilot loves train ride.)
Baba's NOTE: At the top he wrote something then scribbled all over it and believed that was the equivalent of erasing it. Huge. Two years ago he would throw away a sheet of paper if he or someone else made even a slight mistake.
(Looks like this page has our family going somewhere on the train on that same bright sunny day! The box on top of the girl hanging off of a line is the automatic food delivery system on Aditya's imaginary train. The food box travels in the air from the pilot to the passenger... like the Gondolas at Lake Tahoe!)
(On this page:
"Train rides are fun" says the co-pilot.
"Can you hear the music" said the co-pilot.
"Yes I do"
"Do you love it?"
"I do"
"I heard it when I was a kid" said the co-pilot
(This page has another picture of the train. Hmm... perhaps it is the end of day?)
(Train rides are nice.
"Happy Birthday to the co-pilot. Here is your birthday card"
"Thank you" said the co-pilot.
The co-pilot was laughing.)
(And the train again... to end this cute little story of (what follows is Baba's interpretation....) a co-pilot who was hungry on his birthday, watching a guy eating everything sweet he could lay his hands on, while all the co-pilot wanted was for someone to come chat with him and say Happy Birthday to him!)
What you see below are pages from a story book Aditya made all by himself, then read to us, kind of like his class teacher.
(What was that again about autistic children not being able to read body language and facial expressions?)
Since he spells phonetically and writes in his own unique style that we understand but maybe you won't.... I am providing the "text" below each page of the book.
Baba's NOTE: At the top he wrote something then scribbled all over it and believed that was the equivalent of erasing it. Huge. Two years ago he would throw away a sheet of paper if he or someone else made even a slight mistake.
(On this page:
"Train rides are fun" says the co-pilot.
"Can you hear the music" said the co-pilot.
"Yes I do"
"Do you love it?"
"I do"
"I heard it when I was a kid" said the co-pilot
(This page has another picture of the train. Hmm... perhaps it is the end of day?)
"Happy Birthday to the co-pilot. Here is your birthday card"
"Thank you" said the co-pilot.
The co-pilot was laughing.)
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Solving World Problems by Taking Turns!
Before describing that mission that Aditya has undertaken.... here are some other updates. (There have been so many... it is hard to keep up!)
1. Still going to school about 4 hours a day. Still totally tuned in to the "learning". Not socializing with other girls and especially with the rumbuxous boys, most likely as he is still without the tools to do it (e.g. reading and processing body language and facial expressions)
2. Has started eating breakfast in his playroom alongwith Baba. This move is designed to reduce the power-struggle that was happening with both kids getting up at the same time and eating breakfast, but only one of them (sister) getting ready to go to school (as brother goes a little later). Only 3 days later, the mornings seem like the easiest time of the day. Aditya, by the way, is also a LOT more interested in talking and playing, if he is in the room. This means that he is eating less, and shows no signs of being hungry. 4 days ago, he would constantly complain of being hungry and it would seem he had been waiting for a day before the breakfast was finally served! Not a surprise. Basically, we think it is the control that he needed, not the food.
3. Our focus in the playroom has shifted mainly to delighting in the company of each other.... no matter what the activity. Interestingly, point 2 above is also helping with this. This is to say.... we are now actively celebrating each other's company for the company that it is. It is secondary what it is that we are doing. Really... this is the underlying principle of the Son Rise program... so it's nice we are finally doing it:-) Be it playing cricket (YES!), playing ungame, or eating breakfast! Outside the playroom, Baba once went on a bicycle ride with Aditya, which both loved.
4. Aditya is now very interested in cricket. We play it inside the playroom, and Aditya is getting stronger with holding his bat and swinging it. He also loves to bowl yorkers like his favorite yellow haired Lasith Malinga (see the picture above).
5. Also very interested in one-touch, and several other flavors of soccer. This includes a hilarious form of soccer which we came up with in which we place objects in the middle of the room and try to avoid knocking them down while also trying to score goals. It is also fine to go and place objects in front of your opponent's goal! This is being a huge help to lighten things up.... as opposed to feeling high-strung over winning and losing which he still sometimes does.
6. Baba and Aditya WRESTLED with each other for fun! A huge step!
7. Making movies and writing songs, and sometimes both. The movies are shot on a pretend camera. They usually involve his favorite fictional character Officer James. (A separate post coming soon on OFFICER JAMES, who is a well known figure like "Spider Man" around our house.)
Coming to the title of this post... we have seen some rigidity around the use of pounds vs kilograms. In his own words, it is a world problem that people in America and people in Europe/India use different measurements. People need to respect other people, for which they should take turns using kilos and pounds! This morning we played a game around this.
First he made me show the "shocked" expression on my face as he had changed the setting on the weighing scale from pounds to kgs! A few more times, and a few more variations, and he was loving it. At this point I proposed I imagine my wife would go and get our car's speedometer and odometer changed without my knowledge to use kilo meters, and how that will land me in trouble on the freeway (as I was driving at 60km but thinking I was driving at 60 miles per hour). Later, we also discussed how it is also a world problem that cars in different countries have the steering wheel on the left or the right. Some alternatives were proposed, including a center drive and a drive-from-the-top-of-the-car. At this point Aditya was in hysterics... as opposed to serious and rigid... and that brought a huge smile to my face too!
1. Still going to school about 4 hours a day. Still totally tuned in to the "learning". Not socializing with other girls and especially with the rumbuxous boys, most likely as he is still without the tools to do it (e.g. reading and processing body language and facial expressions)
2. Has started eating breakfast in his playroom alongwith Baba. This move is designed to reduce the power-struggle that was happening with both kids getting up at the same time and eating breakfast, but only one of them (sister) getting ready to go to school (as brother goes a little later). Only 3 days later, the mornings seem like the easiest time of the day. Aditya, by the way, is also a LOT more interested in talking and playing, if he is in the room. This means that he is eating less, and shows no signs of being hungry. 4 days ago, he would constantly complain of being hungry and it would seem he had been waiting for a day before the breakfast was finally served! Not a surprise. Basically, we think it is the control that he needed, not the food.
4. Aditya is now very interested in cricket. We play it inside the playroom, and Aditya is getting stronger with holding his bat and swinging it. He also loves to bowl yorkers like his favorite yellow haired Lasith Malinga (see the picture above).
5. Also very interested in one-touch, and several other flavors of soccer. This includes a hilarious form of soccer which we came up with in which we place objects in the middle of the room and try to avoid knocking them down while also trying to score goals. It is also fine to go and place objects in front of your opponent's goal! This is being a huge help to lighten things up.... as opposed to feeling high-strung over winning and losing which he still sometimes does.
6. Baba and Aditya WRESTLED with each other for fun! A huge step!
7. Making movies and writing songs, and sometimes both. The movies are shot on a pretend camera. They usually involve his favorite fictional character Officer James. (A separate post coming soon on OFFICER JAMES, who is a well known figure like "Spider Man" around our house.)
Coming to the title of this post... we have seen some rigidity around the use of pounds vs kilograms. In his own words, it is a world problem that people in America and people in Europe/India use different measurements. People need to respect other people, for which they should take turns using kilos and pounds! This morning we played a game around this.
First he made me show the "shocked" expression on my face as he had changed the setting on the weighing scale from pounds to kgs! A few more times, and a few more variations, and he was loving it. At this point I proposed I imagine my wife would go and get our car's speedometer and odometer changed without my knowledge to use kilo meters, and how that will land me in trouble on the freeway (as I was driving at 60km but thinking I was driving at 60 miles per hour). Later, we also discussed how it is also a world problem that cars in different countries have the steering wheel on the left or the right. Some alternatives were proposed, including a center drive and a drive-from-the-top-of-the-car. At this point Aditya was in hysterics... as opposed to serious and rigid... and that brought a huge smile to my face too!
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
I have no friends in school (and I want to make friends)!
Aditya has been going to school almost everyday, and seems to really enjoy listening to whatever is taught in the class. (Since I have personally volunteered in his class a couple of times now, I can see this when he comes home and tells Mom about what happened.)
On the other hand, he is probably not enjoying not being able to "relate" to any of the other kids. From what I have seen in class/ on the playground, he is very accepting of another child(ren) in his space... but he is not reaching out to, or "inviting" them.
What's really cool is... one day he said: "I don't have any friends in school. I feel like making friends, but I don't know how". Strictly speaking I am paraphrasing what his Mom told me, but whatever words he chose, THIS IS yet another HUGE step, we think.
He does not have the tools (i.e. the social skills such as reading and understanding body language of a super-fast talking 6 year old) to make a friend... and this is something we frankly do expect right now (although we also firmly believe it is a matter of time when he "gets" how to do this).
But he actually WANTS to have a 6 year old friend now! He was at first believed not to "love" the company of any human being. Once in his Son Rise program, he was loving his "grown up" volunteer friends, but avoiding other kids. A little more recently, he only began to "tolerate" kids around him.
And now, here he is... longing that he had someone in his class he could call a friend.
We are elated, and yet another time.... re-energized... about "hanging out" with Aditya in his Son Rise playroom, where he will play with us to "get" the super-cool and mysterious craft also known in the neuro-typical world as "making friends".
On the other hand, he is probably not enjoying not being able to "relate" to any of the other kids. From what I have seen in class/ on the playground, he is very accepting of another child(ren) in his space... but he is not reaching out to, or "inviting" them.
What's really cool is... one day he said: "I don't have any friends in school. I feel like making friends, but I don't know how". Strictly speaking I am paraphrasing what his Mom told me, but whatever words he chose, THIS IS yet another HUGE step, we think.
He does not have the tools (i.e. the social skills such as reading and understanding body language of a super-fast talking 6 year old) to make a friend... and this is something we frankly do expect right now (although we also firmly believe it is a matter of time when he "gets" how to do this).
But he actually WANTS to have a 6 year old friend now! He was at first believed not to "love" the company of any human being. Once in his Son Rise program, he was loving his "grown up" volunteer friends, but avoiding other kids. A little more recently, he only began to "tolerate" kids around him.
And now, here he is... longing that he had someone in his class he could call a friend.
We are elated, and yet another time.... re-energized... about "hanging out" with Aditya in his Son Rise playroom, where he will play with us to "get" the super-cool and mysterious craft also known in the neuro-typical world as "making friends".
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