Basketball season is on! League practices, league games, school practices, school games, evening practices, weekend games... phew! We are all breathing and living basketball in the house. Both kids practice every evening at the neighborhood school and come home to tell me their stories. I have never been into basketball and didn't really get a lot of terms they used. But I was the most enthusiastic listener they could have. Since I asked some of the most basic questions over and over, they gave me a detailed drawing of the court and positions, asking me to study it.
Yesterday, Aditya was telling me how he wanted to get better by the next season so he could be the shooting guard.
Me: "Why don't you like being the post?"
A: "Too much work and no credit!"
Me: "What does that mean?"
A: "I don't think you really understand the positions, do you?"
Me: "Well, I studied the diagram!"
A: "That is not really understanding what happens on court! Let me explain in a way you can understand!
Do you remember how we went to your friend's house in India last year? Her maid did all the work chopping veggies, grinding masala, making rotis while your friend chatted with you. Then Aunty went inside, made the tadka, garnished food with coriander leaves and served lunch. She got the credit for the sumptuous lunch while the poor maid didn't get any credit.
Similarly, the post does all the work in basketball, but the Shooting guard gets all the credit!"
Hmmm!
Monday, April 24, 2017
Growing up to be a good and kind cook!
During part of our staycation, the kids asked me to take a vacation from cooking this winter break. Sister came up with the idea of cooking one meal daily so I can catch up with some half done projects around the house. Wanting to do his bit, Aditya decided to share the cooking with her. But they are at a stage where they can't go more than a few minutes without getting into arguments:) So it was decided that they would work alternate days.
Sister cooked a delicious lunch yesterday. Wanting to outdo her (his big motivation, of late), he cooked a lunch of daal and rice, with steamed green beans on the side. I really enjoyed this simple meal he planned and executed perfectly.
And a big thanks for keeping the kitchen mess free and cleaning up after cooking! Rock on, Chef!
Sister cooked a delicious lunch yesterday. Wanting to outdo her (his big motivation, of late), he cooked a lunch of daal and rice, with steamed green beans on the side. I really enjoyed this simple meal he planned and executed perfectly.
And a big thanks for keeping the kitchen mess free and cleaning up after cooking! Rock on, Chef!
Taking care.. of me, you and us!
As we neared the winter break, our family began thinking of ways to spend our time doing what we loved. Both kids unanimously voted to have a staycation. When further prodded, we realized that they just wanted to laze around and take it easy. They argued that it was the best way to take care of themselves! Aai and Baba love driving to So Cal this time of the year, as they miss warm weather. Over the years, we have visited most places between San Luis Obispo and San Diego multiple times. We needed to take care of ourselves too!
So we reached a compromise and decided to laze around for a few days and visit Santa Barbara for the rest. After all, the weather promised to be gorgeous!
As I excitedly told a friend about our vacation, she wondered how we had taken all these vacations, while still running the SonRise program. Wasn't it against the SonRise Principles to get the child out of the playroom? What we understand and believe is a little different, hence this post.
Taking care of a family with two little kids, having a job, volunteering at school, recruiting volunteers, giving them weekly feedback, doing dialogues, having a special diet is fun but exhausting. We realized early on that we were in this for the long haul. We had to be in the best of health, physical and mental, to go to the finish line. This meant making 'taking care of ourselves' our highest priority. When we were happy, rested and rejuvenated, we were better equipped to care for our kids and each other.
Some of the more important things we focussed on were:
1. Letting one spouse take some time off to do something they loved. Those few hours, would be free of autism worries, so research, talking to other parents about SonRise, diet, etc was off limits. This gave us a chance to connect to ourselves. Also, after a few hours away from the problem, we might just come back with a fresh perspective.
2. Couple time. We often paid our volunteers to babysit so we could go out for dinner and/or a movie. Though challenging initially, we were determined to talk to each other about anything but autism. The weeks when we did not go out, we caught up on movies at home after the kids went to bed.
3. We also did a lot of Option process dialogues with each other, to help us explore our mental blocks and fears. These were not always related to SonRise but to us, as individuals.
4. We did our best to do one-on-one time with our daughter every weekend. She either got 1:1 playtime from mom/dad or we went out to a place of her choice. It ranged from going to a bookstore or library to an ice cream shop or the park. The important part was that she got undivided attention from the parent she was with. There were times both parents played with her while brother was in the playroom with a volunteer. She still fondly remembers these occasions when she felt like an only child... what a privilege! For the record, she still LOVES these "only child" times when she gets to walk to the nearby Trader Joe's with both parents giving her their undivided attention while brother takes his guitar lessons
5. Doing the SonRise program helped us understand the situations which were not conducive to Aditya's growth. So we avoided taking him to places that were not absolutely necessary, like grocery stores, malls, get-togethers, birthday parties and such social events.
BUT..
We took him outdoors, like biking, on walks, hikes, to the park or even the zoo! We found times when the places were almost empty, like the parks on Sunday mornings, the zoo on weekday afternoons, biking late in the afternoon. Our motivation in taking him out was to give him an opportunity to: enjoy the outdoors, appreciate the beauty of nature, exercise, acquaint himself with equipment we could not provide him at home (like the climbing wall, play structure). He also had the opportunity to interact with a couple kids who might be around and put to use the skills he learnt in the playroom, if he so wished! Doing these at times when these places (which are otherwise overwhelming) are calm, helped him feel more in control, as he had just one challenge to work on at a time. eg, there were just a few kids when we visited the zoo at 3pm. Most young families who come to the zoo in the morning are done by then. So we did not have to encounter screaming toddlers, kids who chased each other, yelling adults and a cacophony of sounds too overwhelming for him. Handling the smell in the zoo was a sensory challenge in itself. Trying out new equipment in the giant play structure nestled in the redwoods with slides, swings, ropes and climbing areas was a new experience. Once he started feeling successful, he showed more willingness to try other things. He also had an opportunity to practice some precious lessons in turn taking, since sister had her list of things to do. Where would I be without my best friend, the timer, on such occasions :)
6. Like I mentioned earlier, we took many family vacations. We would have loved to take vacations with family or friends, but that was not the right thing considering our family needs at the time.
Our trips were always within driving distance and we carried/ made all our meals. We enjoyed listening to audio books together. These were the predictable parts of the vacation. To make it easier at the destination, we took vacations with a very flexible itinerary. Along with doing something unique to the place, we visited familiar locations like the beach, hiking trails, parks and oh yes, Zoos! (On these trips, we saw a much calmer and well adjusted boy because he had exercised those social muscles before!)
We wanted it to be a very positive experience for every member of the family, so
"I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."
So we reached a compromise and decided to laze around for a few days and visit Santa Barbara for the rest. After all, the weather promised to be gorgeous!
As I excitedly told a friend about our vacation, she wondered how we had taken all these vacations, while still running the SonRise program. Wasn't it against the SonRise Principles to get the child out of the playroom? What we understand and believe is a little different, hence this post.
Taking care of a family with two little kids, having a job, volunteering at school, recruiting volunteers, giving them weekly feedback, doing dialogues, having a special diet is fun but exhausting. We realized early on that we were in this for the long haul. We had to be in the best of health, physical and mental, to go to the finish line. This meant making 'taking care of ourselves' our highest priority. When we were happy, rested and rejuvenated, we were better equipped to care for our kids and each other.
Some of the more important things we focussed on were:
1. Letting one spouse take some time off to do something they loved. Those few hours, would be free of autism worries, so research, talking to other parents about SonRise, diet, etc was off limits. This gave us a chance to connect to ourselves. Also, after a few hours away from the problem, we might just come back with a fresh perspective.
2. Couple time. We often paid our volunteers to babysit so we could go out for dinner and/or a movie. Though challenging initially, we were determined to talk to each other about anything but autism. The weeks when we did not go out, we caught up on movies at home after the kids went to bed.
3. We also did a lot of Option process dialogues with each other, to help us explore our mental blocks and fears. These were not always related to SonRise but to us, as individuals.
4. We did our best to do one-on-one time with our daughter every weekend. She either got 1:1 playtime from mom/dad or we went out to a place of her choice. It ranged from going to a bookstore or library to an ice cream shop or the park. The important part was that she got undivided attention from the parent she was with. There were times both parents played with her while brother was in the playroom with a volunteer. She still fondly remembers these occasions when she felt like an only child... what a privilege! For the record, she still LOVES these "only child" times when she gets to walk to the nearby Trader Joe's with both parents giving her their undivided attention while brother takes his guitar lessons
5. Doing the SonRise program helped us understand the situations which were not conducive to Aditya's growth. So we avoided taking him to places that were not absolutely necessary, like grocery stores, malls, get-togethers, birthday parties and such social events.
BUT..
We took him outdoors, like biking, on walks, hikes, to the park or even the zoo! We found times when the places were almost empty, like the parks on Sunday mornings, the zoo on weekday afternoons, biking late in the afternoon. Our motivation in taking him out was to give him an opportunity to: enjoy the outdoors, appreciate the beauty of nature, exercise, acquaint himself with equipment we could not provide him at home (like the climbing wall, play structure). He also had the opportunity to interact with a couple kids who might be around and put to use the skills he learnt in the playroom, if he so wished! Doing these at times when these places (which are otherwise overwhelming) are calm, helped him feel more in control, as he had just one challenge to work on at a time. eg, there were just a few kids when we visited the zoo at 3pm. Most young families who come to the zoo in the morning are done by then. So we did not have to encounter screaming toddlers, kids who chased each other, yelling adults and a cacophony of sounds too overwhelming for him. Handling the smell in the zoo was a sensory challenge in itself. Trying out new equipment in the giant play structure nestled in the redwoods with slides, swings, ropes and climbing areas was a new experience. Once he started feeling successful, he showed more willingness to try other things. He also had an opportunity to practice some precious lessons in turn taking, since sister had her list of things to do. Where would I be without my best friend, the timer, on such occasions :)
6. Like I mentioned earlier, we took many family vacations. We would have loved to take vacations with family or friends, but that was not the right thing considering our family needs at the time.
Our trips were always within driving distance and we carried/ made all our meals. We enjoyed listening to audio books together. These were the predictable parts of the vacation. To make it easier at the destination, we took vacations with a very flexible itinerary. Along with doing something unique to the place, we visited familiar locations like the beach, hiking trails, parks and oh yes, Zoos! (On these trips, we saw a much calmer and well adjusted boy because he had exercised those social muscles before!)
We wanted it to be a very positive experience for every member of the family, so
"I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."
Saturday, December 10, 2016
The leak!
As part of his fifth grade work, he wrote this narrative about an event from his life:) Enjoy!
Yes, he chose to be "anonymous". This is a big deal (and a sign of changing times:) as no one else in his class made that choice. Everyone published their narrartives on the same day as part of a "Publishing Party".
Yes, he chose to be "anonymous". This is a big deal (and a sign of changing times:) as no one else in his class made that choice. Everyone published their narrartives on the same day as part of a "Publishing Party".
Friday, December 9, 2016
Growing up
I have been feeling strongly about writing a blog post since last week. But as I sit here, I am stumped. There is just too much going on. Where do I start? Let's see... We last updated the blog in summer. That leaves a lot to catch up with. Procrastination kills, so here I go...
The school year started in August, with the two kids at different schools. Aditya is now a 5th grader - his second year in his multi-age classroom, with the same teacher. As school tradition has it, he went on a 3 day overnight camping trip to the beach with his class in September. He thoroughly enjoyed boogie boarding and started creating some new bonds, making some new friendships. As he grows, he is more aware and wants to be friends with boys, not girls ;)
He decided to play flag football and is on the school team. That meant weekly practices and Friday games. We have been carpooling with another family whose children attend the same two schools as our kids. I drive the boys home after their practice. Both boys continuously chatter on their way home. Topics range from who did well (and not so well) on the field that day, how their dream team looks like, making fun of and mimicking their district music teacher, the district PE teacher, comparing the old teacher with the new, joking about things at school.... all things typical boys this age do. There are also a couple back row secrets that I am no longer privy to! Oh, and the sounds coming from the backseat.. beatboxing, burping contests ... How I wish I could wear earphones while driving :(
As the season comes to an end, the coaches asked players to make up their their own plays and bring them to practice this week. Aditya made up 5 plays and guess what, they picked one of HIS PLAYS! Not just that, their team also did its best on that play! Learning new games, getting the rules and making up plays based on those rules is something he does effortlessly. This is the boy that we once had to teach games using his motivations (like tic-tac-toe using tapes and CDs).
Aditya has been known to be a very sincere student, one who goes above and beyond his teachers' expectations. As I volunteered in class the last couple weeks, I have been noticing changes in his behavior. This week, after the hands on activity, kids were handed out Math worksheets. Even as the other students were getting settled, Aditya finished working on his. Then he proceeded to chat with others at his table. As another boy finished his sheet, they started telling a girl at the table to speed up. Having been really good friends for a few years now, she just smiled and asked them how they were so fast. Aditya said to her, "How about you practice at home, you will also be as fast as us." By then, everyone at the table became really interested in talking about holiday gifts, movies and how they plan to spend the holidays. The parent in charge of this group was stunned. What could have happened to his group of well behaved advanced Math learners? He asked Aditya (who started it all) if he had any unfinished work. No! Any challenge given by his teacher? No! Anything else he fancied working on? Not today! Dazed, he went to the teacher and asked her what Aditya was supposed to be doing. "Sweetie, How about some challenge work? If you are bored with the Olympiads, try your hand at CML or Logic Puzzles, maybe?" BIG eyeroll from Aditya. "Huh! ok! Thanks, but I will stick to the Olympiads"
This has always been the case with him and Math. His teacher has a lot of different kinds of challenge work at the back of the classroom for kids who need it. What was obviously different today was his attitude. When I mentioned the incident to him later that day, he said that it is strenuous to be "always perfect and appropriate". So he is now cutting himself a slack! Of late, I have seen him cut himself a lot of slack around the house too.
As put by one of the girls in his class (Shhh, don't tell him or ask me how I know) "Till last year, Aditya was the only sensible and well behaved boy. This year, the other boys have cast a bad influence on him, he is now like any other boy"
It is probably a sign of the times to come. And guess what, we are silently rejoicing :)
The school year started in August, with the two kids at different schools. Aditya is now a 5th grader - his second year in his multi-age classroom, with the same teacher. As school tradition has it, he went on a 3 day overnight camping trip to the beach with his class in September. He thoroughly enjoyed boogie boarding and started creating some new bonds, making some new friendships. As he grows, he is more aware and wants to be friends with boys, not girls ;)
He decided to play flag football and is on the school team. That meant weekly practices and Friday games. We have been carpooling with another family whose children attend the same two schools as our kids. I drive the boys home after their practice. Both boys continuously chatter on their way home. Topics range from who did well (and not so well) on the field that day, how their dream team looks like, making fun of and mimicking their district music teacher, the district PE teacher, comparing the old teacher with the new, joking about things at school.... all things typical boys this age do. There are also a couple back row secrets that I am no longer privy to! Oh, and the sounds coming from the backseat.. beatboxing, burping contests ... How I wish I could wear earphones while driving :(
As the season comes to an end, the coaches asked players to make up their their own plays and bring them to practice this week. Aditya made up 5 plays and guess what, they picked one of HIS PLAYS! Not just that, their team also did its best on that play! Learning new games, getting the rules and making up plays based on those rules is something he does effortlessly. This is the boy that we once had to teach games using his motivations (like tic-tac-toe using tapes and CDs).
Aditya has been known to be a very sincere student, one who goes above and beyond his teachers' expectations. As I volunteered in class the last couple weeks, I have been noticing changes in his behavior. This week, after the hands on activity, kids were handed out Math worksheets. Even as the other students were getting settled, Aditya finished working on his. Then he proceeded to chat with others at his table. As another boy finished his sheet, they started telling a girl at the table to speed up. Having been really good friends for a few years now, she just smiled and asked them how they were so fast. Aditya said to her, "How about you practice at home, you will also be as fast as us." By then, everyone at the table became really interested in talking about holiday gifts, movies and how they plan to spend the holidays. The parent in charge of this group was stunned. What could have happened to his group of well behaved advanced Math learners? He asked Aditya (who started it all) if he had any unfinished work. No! Any challenge given by his teacher? No! Anything else he fancied working on? Not today! Dazed, he went to the teacher and asked her what Aditya was supposed to be doing. "Sweetie, How about some challenge work? If you are bored with the Olympiads, try your hand at CML or Logic Puzzles, maybe?" BIG eyeroll from Aditya. "Huh! ok! Thanks, but I will stick to the Olympiads"
This has always been the case with him and Math. His teacher has a lot of different kinds of challenge work at the back of the classroom for kids who need it. What was obviously different today was his attitude. When I mentioned the incident to him later that day, he said that it is strenuous to be "always perfect and appropriate". So he is now cutting himself a slack! Of late, I have seen him cut himself a lot of slack around the house too.
As put by one of the girls in his class (Shhh, don't tell him or ask me how I know) "Till last year, Aditya was the only sensible and well behaved boy. This year, the other boys have cast a bad influence on him, he is now like any other boy"
It is probably a sign of the times to come. And guess what, we are silently rejoicing :)
Thursday, July 21, 2016
From playing "Biscuit the Dog" to...
As Aai and Baba sat down at the end of this long Thursday evening, Aai remembered her first ever scripted pretend play session with Aditya. They had just read together "Biscuit the Dog"-- an early reader book. Aditya would not read at all at this stage. Aai role played and then invited Aditya to enact Biscuit the Dog.
Tonight, we look back at those beautiful moments as we revel in where Aditya is now. He just played "Big Mowgli", the lead character in the play "JUNGLE BOOK" in CTC's Summer Theater Conservatory program. The character is a household name, and so Aditya was super excited he got to play this meaty role! He worked very hard, and put his heart out as he performed.
Shreya handled the "sound" for his play. She played Anansi's "Voice of Conscience" in "Anansi Stories" while he was the stage manager for her play.
Today's play is the culmination of a 3 week conservatory session. This was the second session the twins attended this summer. We love this process-based Conservatory, where the students also design and build all props, sets, costumes, tickets, and programs as they engage in and learn about every aspect of live theater!
The first session, which ended 3 weeks ago, had also concluded with two plays put up by the kids. Aditya played "Captain Hook, the prosecutor". He brought a case against B B Wolf (not to be confused with Big Bad Wolf). He handled the "sound" as well as "lights" for sister's play-- "Aesop's Funny Fables" in which sister played a crow who was fooled by two sly foxes into singing and dropping her piece of cheese. (She also handled the "sound" for Aditya's play.)
We are so proud of our twins.
But clearly, the overwhelming feeling right now is... is this the same little guy who was once learning to role play as "Biscuit"? WOW!!!
Tonight, we look back at those beautiful moments as we revel in where Aditya is now. He just played "Big Mowgli", the lead character in the play "JUNGLE BOOK" in CTC's Summer Theater Conservatory program. The character is a household name, and so Aditya was super excited he got to play this meaty role! He worked very hard, and put his heart out as he performed.
Shreya handled the "sound" for his play. She played Anansi's "Voice of Conscience" in "Anansi Stories" while he was the stage manager for her play.
Today's play is the culmination of a 3 week conservatory session. This was the second session the twins attended this summer. We love this process-based Conservatory, where the students also design and build all props, sets, costumes, tickets, and programs as they engage in and learn about every aspect of live theater!
The first session, which ended 3 weeks ago, had also concluded with two plays put up by the kids. Aditya played "Captain Hook, the prosecutor". He brought a case against B B Wolf (not to be confused with Big Bad Wolf). He handled the "sound" as well as "lights" for sister's play-- "Aesop's Funny Fables" in which sister played a crow who was fooled by two sly foxes into singing and dropping her piece of cheese. (She also handled the "sound" for Aditya's play.)
We are so proud of our twins.
But clearly, the overwhelming feeling right now is... is this the same little guy who was once learning to role play as "Biscuit"? WOW!!!
Thursday, June 23, 2016
Guess why he was looking forward to Monday morning?
Just like last year, our twins are going to a 3 week long Theater Conservatory. They love doing it! There are lots of games through which the kids learn the fundamentals of theater, plus they play a part in a play. They come home and recite their dialogues (and help each other with it too)!
They also put together their own props and costumes for the play.
So when Monday morning came (week 2 of the Conservatory) and Aditya (just like his sister) said, "I am so excited to go to CTC today" we thought he is talking about all of the above. But then he added, "I get to meet my two new friends D and L there and play with them".
Priceless:)))))
He regularly plays some structured and (a lot of )made-up games, shares his snack and cracks some really silly jokes with them during break times.
They also put together their own props and costumes for the play.
So when Monday morning came (week 2 of the Conservatory) and Aditya (just like his sister) said, "I am so excited to go to CTC today" we thought he is talking about all of the above. But then he added, "I get to meet my two new friends D and L there and play with them".
Priceless:)))))
He regularly plays some structured and (a lot of )made-up games, shares his snack and cracks some really silly jokes with them during break times.
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