Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Another First!
This week, Aditya played Chutes and Ladders for the first time! This is an important milestone as there were lots of uncertainties (who gets a chute next?), there was a shared object of attention, and there was lots of turn-taking. Most of all, he loved it, and asked to play Chutes and Ladders with the next volunteer!
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Secrets!
It's been a long time, and we have come a long way too!
A few video feedback sessions, first with Kate, then with William have helped us tremendously in understanding the world Aditya is in, which he is constantly trying to compare to ours!
More on that at some other time... right now... just wanted to add this new social skill he has added to his arsenal:-)
Just this week it was time for a snack and both Aditya and Shreya were at the table. We had made sandwiches and the twins had just finished eating, when Aditya called me and said: I want to tell you a secret.
"What?" I was excited as I took my ear close to his mouth.
"Thank you for the sandwich" said a whispering voice, from a mouth decorated with bread crumbs, on a face that was blushing and naughty at the same time!
I once watched a YouTube video of an Australian couple doing Son-Rise titled "Less Autistic Every Week". I do not know if this is the stuff they were talking about, but it just pleases us beyond words when Aditya does something new, which he seems to do at least once in a couple of weeks now!
Signing off... a very pleased Dad!
A few video feedback sessions, first with Kate, then with William have helped us tremendously in understanding the world Aditya is in, which he is constantly trying to compare to ours!
More on that at some other time... right now... just wanted to add this new social skill he has added to his arsenal:-)
Just this week it was time for a snack and both Aditya and Shreya were at the table. We had made sandwiches and the twins had just finished eating, when Aditya called me and said: I want to tell you a secret.
"What?" I was excited as I took my ear close to his mouth.
"Thank you for the sandwich" said a whispering voice, from a mouth decorated with bread crumbs, on a face that was blushing and naughty at the same time!
I once watched a YouTube video of an Australian couple doing Son-Rise titled "Less Autistic Every Week". I do not know if this is the stuff they were talking about, but it just pleases us beyond words when Aditya does something new, which he seems to do at least once in a couple of weeks now!
Signing off... a very pleased Dad!
Friday, March 12, 2010
Bumble bees and Honey bees are cousins!
Question: "Well, if you were a bumble bee and a bull sat on you what would you do?"
Answer: "You would sting him."
Those aren't just two lines from the story of "Ferdinand" the bull-- which by the way is Aditya's favorite!
(How interesting.... Ferdinand is a "special" bull who is different from his friends, who has no interest in fighting but instead sitting every single day under his favorite cork tree, quietly, smelling flowers!)
For a child with autism, a phrase from a book or a TV commercial often becomes what the child will say or ask pretty much any time of the day, seemingly with no regard for what's happening around!
In autism lingo, it is called "Echolalia", although I like to stay away from such words that tend to over-complicate the issue... something brought to the attention of our class by William, a wonderful senior Son Rise teacher! The child is not necessarily doing this because he does not know to say anything else. Certainly... Aditya can now speak on a LOT of different topics. But regardless of his reason to say it at that time, he is effectively wanting control over and predictability in his environment, including people in the environment.
That is how anything can quickly become a "control" issue for him. For example when he asks a question 5 times for whatever reason, and people start showing signs of frustration and want to run away or start re-directing him, it becomes a control battle, often leading to the child seeking even more control!
Aditya asked the question "Well.... if you were a bumble bee..." several times during this week, and after answering him a few times the way he liked, we tried some ways of redirecting him by answering his question differently!
GOSH... we were wrong, and the question continued! Then I reliazed: he really NEEDS the same exact answer he is looking for. It does not matter how many times he has asked already, or even that he has asked 2 minutes ago. If he looks like he needs that answer now, GIVE IT TO HIM!
So when he asked me again this morning:
"Well, if you were a bumble bee and a bull sat on you what would you do?"
I enthusiastically said: You would STING him.
Aditya's face lit up.
Then, to my surprise, he introduced an expansion himself: "And if a honey bee came there...?"
I could not believe this came so soon!
(Looking back, the only thing different today, was possibly, my attitude. I had no reservations in saying "You would sting him!" instead I was pretty much celebrating the fact in my mind that I was providing him with the answer he clearly wanted in order to find predictability.)
Equally delighted, I said: "she would ask the bumble be: it's boring under this cork tree.... do you want to come honey picking with me?"
Aditya liked the idea and said bumble bees and honey bees were cousins, and could go for a picnic.
And from there... we built a story of the two bees going out together to have fun!
Aditya proposed (with no prodding from me at all) that they carry bags of honey on their back! I agreed whole-heartedly celebrating him for his "planning"... now they can even visit their distant cousins in North Carolina (which is where Aditya's cousins live), without stopping at Detroit for food (where we had stopped when we visited them in North Carolina), instead they can just keep sucking honey from their honey-bags.
Aditya did seek control again, saying "Can we do that in 2012?" He was especially keen to do it on February 29, 2012. We agreed on that, and that we would meet again in 2016 on February 29.
Later, the bumble bee requested to meet on February 28, 2013 as 4 years is too much of a wait, to which Aditya said "Sure!"
Answer: "You would sting him."
Those aren't just two lines from the story of "Ferdinand" the bull-- which by the way is Aditya's favorite!
(How interesting.... Ferdinand is a "special" bull who is different from his friends, who has no interest in fighting but instead sitting every single day under his favorite cork tree, quietly, smelling flowers!)
For a child with autism, a phrase from a book or a TV commercial often becomes what the child will say or ask pretty much any time of the day, seemingly with no regard for what's happening around!
In autism lingo, it is called "Echolalia", although I like to stay away from such words that tend to over-complicate the issue... something brought to the attention of our class by William, a wonderful senior Son Rise teacher! The child is not necessarily doing this because he does not know to say anything else. Certainly... Aditya can now speak on a LOT of different topics. But regardless of his reason to say it at that time, he is effectively wanting control over and predictability in his environment, including people in the environment.
That is how anything can quickly become a "control" issue for him. For example when he asks a question 5 times for whatever reason, and people start showing signs of frustration and want to run away or start re-directing him, it becomes a control battle, often leading to the child seeking even more control!
Aditya asked the question "Well.... if you were a bumble bee..." several times during this week, and after answering him a few times the way he liked, we tried some ways of redirecting him by answering his question differently!
GOSH... we were wrong, and the question continued! Then I reliazed: he really NEEDS the same exact answer he is looking for. It does not matter how many times he has asked already, or even that he has asked 2 minutes ago. If he looks like he needs that answer now, GIVE IT TO HIM!
So when he asked me again this morning:
"Well, if you were a bumble bee and a bull sat on you what would you do?"
I enthusiastically said: You would STING him.
Aditya's face lit up.
Then, to my surprise, he introduced an expansion himself: "And if a honey bee came there...?"
I could not believe this came so soon!
(Looking back, the only thing different today, was possibly, my attitude. I had no reservations in saying "You would sting him!" instead I was pretty much celebrating the fact in my mind that I was providing him with the answer he clearly wanted in order to find predictability.)
Equally delighted, I said: "she would ask the bumble be: it's boring under this cork tree.... do you want to come honey picking with me?"
Aditya liked the idea and said bumble bees and honey bees were cousins, and could go for a picnic.
And from there... we built a story of the two bees going out together to have fun!
Aditya proposed (with no prodding from me at all) that they carry bags of honey on their back! I agreed whole-heartedly celebrating him for his "planning"... now they can even visit their distant cousins in North Carolina (which is where Aditya's cousins live), without stopping at Detroit for food (where we had stopped when we visited them in North Carolina), instead they can just keep sucking honey from their honey-bags.
Aditya did seek control again, saying "Can we do that in 2012?" He was especially keen to do it on February 29, 2012. We agreed on that, and that we would meet again in 2016 on February 29.
Later, the bumble bee requested to meet on February 28, 2013 as 4 years is too much of a wait, to which Aditya said "Sure!"
Friday, February 19, 2010
Pursuit of Perfection!
The last two weeks felt unusual for most of Aditya's friends.
For the last two weeks Aditya has been mostly drawing and coloring with the help of his friends. He has mostly been refusing to play any other games.
While coloring and drawing, he
1) was rigid (e.g. he had to draw a perfect square on a sheet of paper with not a single crease)
2) was controlling (if he wanted us to erase and fix something he wanted it quick!)
3) was frustrated with small mistakes like he or his friend drawing an "oval" shaped face rather than a "circle" face, after which he would crumple and throw away the paper (we joined by making a ball of our paper and throwing it away with force)
4) sometimes cried about how he did not like mistakes and how we should not make them again
5) would sometimes ask "are mistakes ok?" This last question offered expansion opportunities. On one such occasion I said "mistakes are fine" in response to which he said "is stealing stuff bad?" to which I said "it's fine if you are stealing from a bully". This led to a 10 minute chat about a bully in my middle school and how I stole his candy and returned it to him the next day and spoke to him about how it felt to him, to teach him a lesson. Not sure if this was in accordance with Son Rise principles... but I just followed my gut feelings, and it worked surprisingly well as in the end Aditya was laughing about how we taught the bully a lesson.
This phase of "perfection or frustration", lasted for almost two weeks.
In the last 2 days, though, we are seeing a different Aditya.
Especially yesterday!
Yesterday was special, we think, as Aditya displayed greater than usual composure in face of unexpected changes ("randomization" during song selection on the music player inside the car).
The other remarkable thing he did yesterday, was coloring a computer-printed picture (NOT a picture he had himself drawn), while making sure the colors stayed inside the boundaries... another thing he has rarely done before!
It may not be obvious, but coloring a picture drawn by somebody else suggests he was not looking for control. This reduced need to control became even more apparent when he tried to keep the colors within the boundaries of the things he was coloring (which again, were boundaries set by someone else, not him).
For the last two weeks Aditya has been mostly drawing and coloring with the help of his friends. He has mostly been refusing to play any other games.
While coloring and drawing, he
1) was rigid (e.g. he had to draw a perfect square on a sheet of paper with not a single crease)
2) was controlling (if he wanted us to erase and fix something he wanted it quick!)
3) was frustrated with small mistakes like he or his friend drawing an "oval" shaped face rather than a "circle" face, after which he would crumple and throw away the paper (we joined by making a ball of our paper and throwing it away with force)
4) sometimes cried about how he did not like mistakes and how we should not make them again
5) would sometimes ask "are mistakes ok?" This last question offered expansion opportunities. On one such occasion I said "mistakes are fine" in response to which he said "is stealing stuff bad?" to which I said "it's fine if you are stealing from a bully". This led to a 10 minute chat about a bully in my middle school and how I stole his candy and returned it to him the next day and spoke to him about how it felt to him, to teach him a lesson. Not sure if this was in accordance with Son Rise principles... but I just followed my gut feelings, and it worked surprisingly well as in the end Aditya was laughing about how we taught the bully a lesson.
This phase of "perfection or frustration", lasted for almost two weeks.
In the last 2 days, though, we are seeing a different Aditya.
Especially yesterday!
Yesterday was special, we think, as Aditya displayed greater than usual composure in face of unexpected changes ("randomization" during song selection on the music player inside the car).
The other remarkable thing he did yesterday, was coloring a computer-printed picture (NOT a picture he had himself drawn), while making sure the colors stayed inside the boundaries... another thing he has rarely done before!
It may not be obvious, but coloring a picture drawn by somebody else suggests he was not looking for control. This reduced need to control became even more apparent when he tried to keep the colors within the boundaries of the things he was coloring (which again, were boundaries set by someone else, not him).
Monday, February 15, 2010
I gave you a gift!
The title of this post is something Aditya says to his friends, usually when they come back for their next session with him.
Here is an assortment of gifts he has given us in the last few weeks!
1. An Airplane
2. A Baby
3. A blood pressure monitor (for his grandparents!)
4. A book with a story about our family
Enjoy!
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Lots of paper!
Aditya is now using lots and lots of white paper every day.
And we have waited for a long time to see this day!
Makes no sense, right?
Until, of course, I put those 2 things together in a context.
And that "putting together" of two details and drawing a conclusion is exactly the skill that we "neuro-typical" folks take for granted. It is the "executive" function that an autistic brain seems to lack.
That's why when I took him to a Safeway store months ago, he wanted to go to the water bottling machine and push buttons on it, then walk out, without regard for the "higher order" function of buying milk and bread and vegetables and then go home and give them to Mommy!
But in the last few days, Aditya has showed signs he may have begun looking at things a little differently, and be able to see a "big picture".
For a long time now Aditya has been drawing or asking us to draw a scene at the restaurant complete with tables and chairs, food on the table, cups and plates, forks and spoons, etc. He has also been drawing or asking that we draw cars, jeeps, airplanes, etc. But he has been drawing them as different things, with no interest in having a relationship between those things.
At the beginning of our Son Rise program, I did try suggesting to him maybe we could put those things together and make up a story. No way! It was too soon, and we had to go back to the basics and join, join, and I repeat, join. Once in a while there would be expansions, such as we put different kinds of food in the plates, or we drew people in the chairs at the restaurant.
Then, over the last weekend, I said to him again: THOSE PEOPLE AT THE RESTAURANT CAME THERE IN THAT JEEP.
And he took that expansion! Hurray!!!
And not only that, he then took the idea a step further and drew and asked me to draw more pictures: a picture of the same people (those people were our family, actually:-)) going to Toys R Us, then a picture of the boy and the dad buying a toy vacuum cleaner, then the picture of the boy and the dad going to the "triangle" restroom, then the girl and the mom going to the "circle" restroom (at the same time, by the way), and then a picture of the family going home.
He has since been making stories with almost all of his friends in the playroom. So now you know... why I am so happy he is using up paper like never before.
And we have waited for a long time to see this day!
Makes no sense, right?
Until, of course, I put those 2 things together in a context.
And that "putting together" of two details and drawing a conclusion is exactly the skill that we "neuro-typical" folks take for granted. It is the "executive" function that an autistic brain seems to lack.
That's why when I took him to a Safeway store months ago, he wanted to go to the water bottling machine and push buttons on it, then walk out, without regard for the "higher order" function of buying milk and bread and vegetables and then go home and give them to Mommy!
But in the last few days, Aditya has showed signs he may have begun looking at things a little differently, and be able to see a "big picture".
For a long time now Aditya has been drawing or asking us to draw a scene at the restaurant complete with tables and chairs, food on the table, cups and plates, forks and spoons, etc. He has also been drawing or asking that we draw cars, jeeps, airplanes, etc. But he has been drawing them as different things, with no interest in having a relationship between those things.
At the beginning of our Son Rise program, I did try suggesting to him maybe we could put those things together and make up a story. No way! It was too soon, and we had to go back to the basics and join, join, and I repeat, join. Once in a while there would be expansions, such as we put different kinds of food in the plates, or we drew people in the chairs at the restaurant.
Then, over the last weekend, I said to him again: THOSE PEOPLE AT THE RESTAURANT CAME THERE IN THAT JEEP.
And he took that expansion! Hurray!!!
And not only that, he then took the idea a step further and drew and asked me to draw more pictures: a picture of the same people (those people were our family, actually:-)) going to Toys R Us, then a picture of the boy and the dad buying a toy vacuum cleaner, then the picture of the boy and the dad going to the "triangle" restroom, then the girl and the mom going to the "circle" restroom (at the same time, by the way), and then a picture of the family going home.
He has since been making stories with almost all of his friends in the playroom. So now you know... why I am so happy he is using up paper like never before.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Of Letters and Numbers
"Hey mom, is A a odd letter or even?", Aditya asked me one day at lunch. I was stunned. "Well .. I am not sure. You could say it is even."
"Are boys even and girls odd?" I was too dumbfounded to answer this one! He just shook his head and walked away, like he was pitying me. I couldn't really figure out what was going on in his head.
A couple of days later, at dinnertime, he asked,"Hey, are vowels odd numbered letters?" It set the whole family counting letters on their fingertips:) And the verdict: Yes, indeed! All vowels are odd numbered. He, obviously, knew that "U" is the 21st letter of the alphabet!
"Are boys even and girls odd?" I was too dumbfounded to answer this one! He just shook his head and walked away, like he was pitying me. I couldn't really figure out what was going on in his head.
A couple of days later, at dinnertime, he asked,"Hey, are vowels odd numbered letters?" It set the whole family counting letters on their fingertips:) And the verdict: Yes, indeed! All vowels are odd numbered. He, obviously, knew that "U" is the 21st letter of the alphabet!
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