I want to fit in, but ...

One day Aditya walked up to me and said, "Mommy, you are naked!"

I just glanced at him with an amused look on my face.

Aditya (giggling): "Mommy, you are naked!"

Me: "Well, yes , under my clothes"

He went off for some time and came back again to say the same thing. So I asked him why he was saying so. Of late, he has started telling us that he does some things just to get a reaction. I thought this was one such incident.
Instead he said that he was imitating some boys in his class who say that to another child from the neighboring class. I was stunned. So I asked him if he felt that it was an appropriate thing to do. "No!", he said. "Well, then why do you copy them?"
"Because I want to fit in!"

Hmm .. I was getting into uncharted waters here! We spoke about "fitting in", meaning doing things that others do. We also spoke about personal values, meaning our own beliefs about something being good or bad for us. Then we got down to how we, because of our personal values, might or might not do things just to fit in. He seemed to get most of it. Not bad for my first attempt!

For a few weeks now, I have felt that kids in his class notice something different about A. Eg, one day a little girl came up to me and asked why he stood far away and waved his hand when trying to get somebody's attention. These are small quirks which some kids are curious about. Some kids, on the other hand, imitate or tease him.
Like these two little girls who run away with his backpack after he is done with his snack. I saw that happen once. When asked about it, Aditya said that they are having fun with his backpack. To him, it seemed to be some game they were playing. But to me, it seemed something different. They sneaked up to him and seemed to tease him.
It got me thinking. It seemed to me that he was not processing their body language. Well.. for now, I thought, if he is not reacting to them, kids will leave him alone after trying for some time. This was something we would definitely want to work on soon, though.

Boy, was I wrong! Of late, he has been coming home telling me how some kids are calling him names. A particular boy calls him "Zombie" on the playground. He told me that he didn't like it. "Well, what does zombie mean to you?"
"Zombie means slow. I know it because we play Zombie tag at PE. I don't like to be called slow."
True. Who would? Dialogue again. But it is true that he is still slower than most kids. When it comes to running, a 5 year old easily outruns him. He is doing his best, but physically it is still a challenge. At the end of the dialogue, he decided that he wanted more practice playing tag outside, not in the playroom :)

Yesterday he came home telling me "X called me PP ole" He was laughing, not knowing what it actually meant. I decided to go ahead and break it to him and see what happened. So I told him to listen carefully when I repeated what the boy had said. Then it struck him.
"So was he calling me Pee Pee hole?!" He exclaimed in disbelief.
Me: "Well, that is how it sounded to me."
A: "I did not like it that he called me that."
Me: "So how do you feel about it?"
A: "Ok."
Me:"Do you believe what he said?"
A:"No! I am not a Pee Pee hole!"
We spoke about the Option process and how the boy X was saying it for his own reasons.

Going through experiences like this, I often feel like shielding my kids from the big bad world. But I am glad they can experience this with us around, so they have us to come to, if needed.