So as I said, here I am posting about this last Friday i.e. August 31, 2012.
Since I showed up a little early last time, Aditya came to me and chatted with me. Today, I wanted to go a little late and see if he had opened up a bit with the other kids.
I reached just in time for the class to start, and Aditya was actually entering the class. I came from behind and tapped him gently on his head, put his tie-dyed shirt in the box it had to go into, put a check mark against his name, etc. By this time he had gone and taken a seat in his assigned spot. I went over and stayed behind him. He noticed me and looked behind and gave me a look he had never given before. It was a look that said, "I am okay dad, you can stop coming here". Was I dreaming? He then said, "Okay!" I said "what do you mean okay?" to which he said, "I am doing okay". So indeed I was right about what I saw on his face:-)
It is DEAR time (Drop Everything And Read). Aditya is aware of the expectations, so he does his thing to fulfill them. He is done reading his book, so he goes back and puts it back in the class library. He then spends a bit of time there, even sits down along with some other kids who are there (Aai later explained to me that he must have been in the group that gets to sit in the class library during DEAR today). He then comes back with another book in his hand. He puts it in his folder. He quickly scans me as I am making some notes on a piece of paper. WOW! He moves on after seeing that I am busy! Where is the guy who would not look what the other person is doing before asking them questions?
Now I am done making my note (and I am also done feeling tickled inside that he actually noticed me being busy and moved on). So I go to him and say, "Did you want to say something to me when I was writing?"
He then quickly opens his reading log and shows off what books he has been reading through the week. (Very cool showing that off to me. I was so happy:-))
I then say to him that he can read more if he wants to. He says he already got his book for the next time. I say that he can still go and read another book, that would be totally fine. He said he wouldn't want to. Very assertive there. But why would he not want to read something, or just do something? I get the impression that he is doing things to fit expectations. The "want to read" is missing.
It is 1pm and the pendulum clock sounds a bell. Aditya's neighbor second grader R says loudly to no one in particular, "It is not a bell. It is just the clock." He then asks the teacher if they can read for another 15 minutes.
I did not hear that very well so I ask Aditya to tell me what R said. He smiles in a way that is very "social" and tells me, "he is asking for 15 minutes to read". (It seems from my discussion later with Aai that their teacher is firm and loving as she says she cannot agree to a request like that. So apparently Aditya was expecting her to say the same thing to R and he was expressing a feeling of the kind: "someone tell this guy she won't listen".)
I then tell Aditya about a book about airplanes I am seeing from a distance. He again tells me he has already selected a book. I say let's go anyways! This time around, he comes. We go and find that it is in a blue bin. He has announced to us he won't read books from that and the red bin as that is for advanced readers. (We actually think he can. He is perhaps just exercising control.) So I say hard luck, and we come back.
At this point, D (the guy who had stuck his face in Aditya's face last week) seems to have walked over Aditya's hands. Aditya has teared up. D is overwhelmed and at a loss. Teacher resolves the matter and suggests D be more mindful of what he is doing. I am feeling a bit silly (but accepting of me) that I was writing these notes at that point instead of seeing what happened.
It is sharing time. Two kids have brought some stuff (their toys etc) in a paper bag which they share with the class. As A the boy shares his stuff, other kids raise their hands to ask questions or make comments. Aditya is looking totally disinterested. I am not sure he is listening at all. Some other kids are finding it hard to stay interested as well.
Now it's K's turn to share. K is the same social butterfly whose birthday it was last week. Now Aditya suddenly looks at her with interest. She goes on to show a rope she brought from home. Aditya looks at me. I show a very interested face and look at K. He looks back at her then!
They are all sitting on the rug at that point. The boy sitting next to him decides to recline and ends up leaning over Aditya who scoots away. Nice talking care of himself.
Now the sharing time is over, and the teacher makes an announcement about it being the last day of the week before the long weekend. She wants everyone to clean up their cubby. She explains what should stay and what should go home, what should be turned in, etc. There will be a cubby clean up check too.
Everyone is back at their desk. I am with Aditya at his desk. He seem totally confused with all these instructions about the cubby clean out. I ask him if he knows what it is that he needs to do. He says he does not know. I wonder aloud as usual, and he decides to go ask the teacher. He ADDRESSES her by name, asks his question, and successfully gets an answer. Hurray! He and I now go and put things in his mail, submit his things to the class, and file away something else in the Math folder. A lot of little things like that, which apparently he has found a little too many to keep in his mind and process one by one.
After that is done, Aditya goes to the front of the class where some kids are playing a board game. He leans over and watches with interest.
Another boy M comes to me and thinking I am the aiding parent, asks if I can go with him to the outside where he can play with the ball.
The teacher notices it and sends somebody (her own son actually who he is helping out currently) to go with M.
Aditya comes to the teacher at the same time and asks what he can do.
She offers the option of reading or going out with her son, and he immediately takes up the offer to go out. I follow them too.
Initially, M finds a ball, and so does Aditya, but Aditya realizes soon (NICE) that there is not enough air pressure in it. He then says, "there is a rule in this school that kids cannot get a ball". I have no idea about where he is coming from. But knowing that this could be presented as an opportunity to go play with M, I say to him, "So you can play with M". And he says YES to it. But we then also find another ball lying a bit farther away. Showing his preference to playing by himself, he goes gets the ball instead of going to M.
I decide to dialog myself here, and say, "THIS IS EXCITING. He will go up from here and socialize with other kids". And bang! The universe responds in less than a second, as M is inviting Aditya to join him! Aditya agrees right away!
I start seeing their game of "1-touch", only to see that another kid J joins them.
J is a pro at "1-touch" and is also very competitive. So as the three kids start playing, Aditya's limitations are exposed quickly. He does not really know the game, and J is brutal in calling him "out" when he does not do his thing right. I quickly take Aditya to the other side of that wall-like structure where I and he practice some 1-touch and remember how we used to play a similar 1-touch with our feet in the playroom.
Soon M is on our side to check us out. We go over to his side, and now I say to Aditya that he can go play with the other two kids as he now knows what game it is and how to play it.
Aditya makes himself LOUD and CLEAR: "Hey can I be in the game too"?
"Sure", say M and J. Sweet! Our boy has arrived!
But soon enough, the story repeats itself. Aditya is not really moving as quickly as the other two, and seems to miss his turn, at which point J makes sure to call him out.
I then come in, and tell him we will watch the game a little bit to know how to play it. And that he is already doing better by trying to join their game. He likes it and we watch. Soon, J has beaten M and says "EVERYBODY IN NOW". I send Aditya in again. This time, he does better and gets the ball right and touches it with 1 bounce over to the wall. He does it so lightly that the ball does not return with much force and so M cannot get to the ball in time, and thus M is out. J looks at Aditya and smiles and says, "You got M out, Aditya". Aditya is excited and tells me that he got someone out. He also adds he does not know how he could get someone out. I explain what that means.
So we play a little longer. Aditya touches the ball once in a while, but mostly does not get there on time, as he is not really moving on his feet. He is folding his hands and putting them behind his back, appearing stiff and not really flowing with the game.
Eventually I think he reaches the limit of his patience and starts isming about how he is going to invent a version of 1-touch which works in a reverse order. I invite him out again and say to him if he wants to play with the boys he has to watch them or play, and that they won't be listening to his invention right now.
In the meantime 3 other boys come and join the game. Aditya's interest is weaning. I resolve to do 1-touch with him at home, preferably with another volunteer so he gets the three-some experience!
Aditya now wants to go back to his class. When we go back, the teacher welcomes and tells him he can do free choice as his job was that of the moderator so he does not have anything to do till the end.
Aditya goes to the front of the class. This time, he very strongly connects to the boys and girls playing a game that looks similar to "Connect-4" except it is called "Make 7". First watches them really closely, and later even joins the club and makes comments, and even plays a little bit.
Soon it is the last few minutes or so, and Aditya sits in the moderator chair. Teacher reminds him to get reports from the chairs monitor and the floor monitor. (There are lots of such opportunities for him to go and talk to other kids, where it is clearly defined what to do. NICE! He will feel comfortable talking to his class mates if he continued doing those things.)
There is now a discussion about "cutting in the line". Aditya seems to listen but he is not raising his hand. This is followed by a quick group conversation about the letter of the day- S. Aditya is not saying much but he is listening.
Finally, it is the moment he was waiting for, as he gets to be in control being the "moderator". He and the other moderator have a little bit of an exchange where they agree (or maybe the other guy says and Aditya readily agrees) on dismissing the whole class by saying "CLASS DISMISSED" while making a super-silly face at DIS-MISSED.
That's it. The kids run like a flock of birds, and so does Aditya!
He is definitely more on his feet this Friday. He is also definitely addressing people by their first name, instead of just saying HEY which was not getting him success last week! Smart boy, and a fast learner! He is definitely more easily connecting to the other kids over board games, but he is clearly challenged in his ability to flow with a physical activity or game like 1-touch.
I am so grateful I have had this chance to be with him on these 2 Fridays, and even within this short period of time I have watched him change and grow so much! Well done, Aditya!!! Actually... well doing Aditya:-)
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