Baba was speaking on the phone to Aditya and asked how his play session was with a new volunteer.
"Okay"
"What do you mean? Did you have fun playing?"
"I had some fun. She was just sitting. She was not participating much. I think she needs more training."
Friday, June 22, 2012
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Witnessed today
This evening, as I walked back into the house after talking to my neighbor across the street, I saw Aditya munching on a foot-long cucumber. I had served him an evening snack and gone out the door for a few minutes. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Until now, he would wait for me to return and ask for permission to eat something more. When I cheered him for taking care of himself, he blushed and told me that he was too hungry to wait for me. There was no anxiety, no doubting his own decision .. only confidence oozing out of this young fellow!
As I have been training new volunteers over the last couple weeks, Aditya has been in and out of the room in between feedback sessions. I used to have his snack ready on the table most of the time. Once last week, I forgot to put it out. After the volunteer left, I apologized to him. "Well, that's ok. I just picked a plum and had it for snack!" That was the last day I ever decided what his snack would be. He has not asked me for one, waited for my approval or even told me once he was done.
I have now seen it consistently enough that I really feel elated! He is no longer anxious or looking for our approval before taking care of his basic needs. In fact, he is assertive and defends his choices :)
Today, sister was upset about a cancelled playdate. As Aditya came out of the playroom after two back to back sessions, she was whining, "Mom, I am too bored! I wish I had a friend to play with."
"Hey Aditya, Your sister wants to play with somebody. Do you think you can be that friend she can play with? "
"Sure, Shreya .. Let's play something of your choice. "
"How about doggie?", she asked.
Aditya : "Ruff Ruf ... Ruff .. "
And off they went into the playroom .....
I think that he was able to connect more strongly to her because he had his fix ... four hours of solid playroom time. I am feeling good about our growing team and the increased playroom hours he will be getting .. more loving, joining, challenging and growth for Aditya! Woohoooo!
As I have been training new volunteers over the last couple weeks, Aditya has been in and out of the room in between feedback sessions. I used to have his snack ready on the table most of the time. Once last week, I forgot to put it out. After the volunteer left, I apologized to him. "Well, that's ok. I just picked a plum and had it for snack!" That was the last day I ever decided what his snack would be. He has not asked me for one, waited for my approval or even told me once he was done.
I have now seen it consistently enough that I really feel elated! He is no longer anxious or looking for our approval before taking care of his basic needs. In fact, he is assertive and defends his choices :)
Today, sister was upset about a cancelled playdate. As Aditya came out of the playroom after two back to back sessions, she was whining, "Mom, I am too bored! I wish I had a friend to play with."
"Hey Aditya, Your sister wants to play with somebody. Do you think you can be that friend she can play with? "
"Sure, Shreya .. Let's play something of your choice. "
"How about doggie?", she asked.
Aditya : "Ruff Ruf ... Ruff .. "
And off they went into the playroom .....
I think that he was able to connect more strongly to her because he had his fix ... four hours of solid playroom time. I am feeling good about our growing team and the increased playroom hours he will be getting .. more loving, joining, challenging and growth for Aditya! Woohoooo!
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
End of the school year!
Today was the last day of school for the kids! Aditya is now a first grader and sister a second grader:)
The kids had planned the day in advance, right from what they would wear to school to what they would have for lunch and dinner :) Aditya came home with baba after school, while sister went out for lunch with me.
The kids were eagerly waiting for Baba as he came home from work later this evening. As soon as he stepped into the house, Aditya called out to his sister to form an arch with their arms and asked Baba to pass under it. :) It was totally spontaneous and purposeless! YAY!
Just before I started cooking dinner, I asked the kids if I could switch something on their menu for a dish Baba liked. After all, I reasoned, he chose to work from home this morning so he could come to Aditya's Kinder closing ceremony and Shreya could have lunch with me. Both agreed to surprise Baba with something he loved. Sweet!
At the dinner table, Aditya said to him,"We have a special dish of your choice to say thanks for aiding in our class!" I was amazed .. where did this come from? Very very sweet!
The last course was home made chocolate ice cream. As I served it, Aditya said,"Now let us close our eyes and make a wish for our family and then take a bite. Make a wish for our grandparents and take another bite. Make a last wish for yourself and enjoy the rest." Wow! We have never prayed at the dinner table like this! It never occured to us, it is not a custom we are familiar with. We were dumbfounded as he led us through this. We then realized that he was recreating an experience he has had at school. This is very similar to what they do before enjoying birthday treats! "First make a wish for the birthday child, take a bite, make a wish for the child's family and take a bite, lastly make a wish for yourself, take a bite and enjoy the rest!" We then talked a little about what we wished .. for ourselves and for the world.
Never wish for too little .. want to your heart's content .. need nothing!
The kids had planned the day in advance, right from what they would wear to school to what they would have for lunch and dinner :) Aditya came home with baba after school, while sister went out for lunch with me.
The kids were eagerly waiting for Baba as he came home from work later this evening. As soon as he stepped into the house, Aditya called out to his sister to form an arch with their arms and asked Baba to pass under it. :) It was totally spontaneous and purposeless! YAY!
Just before I started cooking dinner, I asked the kids if I could switch something on their menu for a dish Baba liked. After all, I reasoned, he chose to work from home this morning so he could come to Aditya's Kinder closing ceremony and Shreya could have lunch with me. Both agreed to surprise Baba with something he loved. Sweet!
At the dinner table, Aditya said to him,"We have a special dish of your choice to say thanks for aiding in our class!" I was amazed .. where did this come from? Very very sweet!
The last course was home made chocolate ice cream. As I served it, Aditya said,"Now let us close our eyes and make a wish for our family and then take a bite. Make a wish for our grandparents and take another bite. Make a last wish for yourself and enjoy the rest." Wow! We have never prayed at the dinner table like this! It never occured to us, it is not a custom we are familiar with. We were dumbfounded as he led us through this. We then realized that he was recreating an experience he has had at school. This is very similar to what they do before enjoying birthday treats! "First make a wish for the birthday child, take a bite, make a wish for the child's family and take a bite, lastly make a wish for yourself, take a bite and enjoy the rest!" We then talked a little about what we wished .. for ourselves and for the world.
Never wish for too little .. want to your heart's content .. need nothing!
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Tears... then and now!
I have a coupon for printing photos, which will be expiring soon. I was going through tons of photos I have online, chuckling, smiling and giggling to myself. Aditya came to see what I was up to and got interested in the pictures I was viewing - those of our trip to India more than 3 years ago.
Interestingly, when I had first downloaded these same pictures immediately after we got back from our vacation, he was unable to recognize my mom or brother, with whom we had spent almost 2 months! I remember being terrified and almost in tears.
Fast forward to this afternoon ... he blushed when he saw a picture of himself enjoying a mango. He actually took over the computer from me and quickly browsed through quite a few pictures of us attending a wedding, going to a couple busy places, the park, etc. Then he came to a section where there were pictures of us at my parents' farm. He took his time to study them. He remembered the name of the person who roasted cashews for him and his sister and said, "I was patient and waited for him to roast and then shell them. Look how he is using a hammer to crack them!" Then came a picture of the siblings with the dog on the farm. He instantaneously yelled out,"Shreya! Shreya, come see a doggie!" (She is currently fascinated by dogs and begging us to get one.) "Shreya, look .. a picture of you, me and a doggie!" This was priceless! He called on her when he saw something that would interest her! So much for the theory of mind!
Then he came to a picture I would describe as follows: Aditya and his sister each sitting on the lap of a woman in her fifties... a very simple person with a huge friendly smile on her face. That day was the only time Aditya had seen her ever. Today, he asked me who this person was. She is a close family friend and I was trying to figure out how to explain it to him and said,"Well .. she is .." when he pitched in .. "kaku?!" which means "aunty". I was stunned! I indeed call her "Kaku" but I find it impossible to believe that he remembers it. Well, if he recognized her face and remembered her, AWESOME! if not, he generalized, looking at the age and dressing style, that it looked like someone I would call kaku! SUPER AWESOME! As the cursor hovered close to her face, he asked to type in her name and tag her! How sweet!
He went through the pictures pointing to my mom and in-laws. He also recognized my mom's brother and his wife (they were here a couple years ago.)
After going through all pictures a couple times, he looked me in the eye and asked,"And why isn't your dad in any pictures?" I then showed him a few pictures with grandpa and myself wondered why I did not have as many pictures of him!
As I shut down the computer, I was in tears once again....
Interestingly, when I had first downloaded these same pictures immediately after we got back from our vacation, he was unable to recognize my mom or brother, with whom we had spent almost 2 months! I remember being terrified and almost in tears.
Fast forward to this afternoon ... he blushed when he saw a picture of himself enjoying a mango. He actually took over the computer from me and quickly browsed through quite a few pictures of us attending a wedding, going to a couple busy places, the park, etc. Then he came to a section where there were pictures of us at my parents' farm. He took his time to study them. He remembered the name of the person who roasted cashews for him and his sister and said, "I was patient and waited for him to roast and then shell them. Look how he is using a hammer to crack them!" Then came a picture of the siblings with the dog on the farm. He instantaneously yelled out,"Shreya! Shreya, come see a doggie!" (She is currently fascinated by dogs and begging us to get one.) "Shreya, look .. a picture of you, me and a doggie!" This was priceless! He called on her when he saw something that would interest her! So much for the theory of mind!
Then he came to a picture I would describe as follows: Aditya and his sister each sitting on the lap of a woman in her fifties... a very simple person with a huge friendly smile on her face. That day was the only time Aditya had seen her ever. Today, he asked me who this person was. She is a close family friend and I was trying to figure out how to explain it to him and said,"Well .. she is .." when he pitched in .. "kaku?!" which means "aunty". I was stunned! I indeed call her "Kaku" but I find it impossible to believe that he remembers it. Well, if he recognized her face and remembered her, AWESOME! if not, he generalized, looking at the age and dressing style, that it looked like someone I would call kaku! SUPER AWESOME! As the cursor hovered close to her face, he asked to type in her name and tag her! How sweet!
He went through the pictures pointing to my mom and in-laws. He also recognized my mom's brother and his wife (they were here a couple years ago.)
After going through all pictures a couple times, he looked me in the eye and asked,"And why isn't your dad in any pictures?" I then showed him a few pictures with grandpa and myself wondered why I did not have as many pictures of him!
As I shut down the computer, I was in tears once again....
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Hyper-Aware!
This morning we made smoothies in Aditya's imaginary smoothie restaurant.
1. We took turns making up the "Build your own Smoothie" menu with sections for base, protein, fat, fruit, vegetables. He made all "sensible" suggestions like coconut for fat, soy milk for base, spinach for the vegetable etc. (As opposed to cabbage or olive oil which are vegetable and fat for sure but who puts them in a smoothie?)
2. We had forgotten to include our favorite cocoa. As the owner and chef he offered it for free!
3. To the next customer he asked to wait because he had to wash his blender jar before making another smoothie!
4. In one case, I celebrated him for "building the menu together with me", then celebrated for some other things, and then again for "building the menu together" which I had already said a few minutes ago. Our son whose love is to say and ask things repetitively... said to me, "Yeah you already said that".
THIS IS A BRAND NEW DAY, and we are loving the hyper-aware brand-new Aditya!
1. We took turns making up the "Build your own Smoothie" menu with sections for base, protein, fat, fruit, vegetables. He made all "sensible" suggestions like coconut for fat, soy milk for base, spinach for the vegetable etc. (As opposed to cabbage or olive oil which are vegetable and fat for sure but who puts them in a smoothie?)
2. We had forgotten to include our favorite cocoa. As the owner and chef he offered it for free!
3. To the next customer he asked to wait because he had to wash his blender jar before making another smoothie!
4. In one case, I celebrated him for "building the menu together with me", then celebrated for some other things, and then again for "building the menu together" which I had already said a few minutes ago. Our son whose love is to say and ask things repetitively... said to me, "Yeah you already said that".
THIS IS A BRAND NEW DAY, and we are loving the hyper-aware brand-new Aditya!
Monday, June 4, 2012
Art Show at School
Last month, we attended the Art Show at our kids' school and saw some wonderful pieces made by our resident artists :)
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| Aditya's rendition of Georgia O'Keefe flowers |
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| Kinder O'Keefe flowers |
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| Cherry blossoms |
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| Eric Carle collage |
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| Aditya's Creation at the Project Look Field Trip, Palo Alto CA |
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| Aditya's drawing of his favorite stuffie, Shamu .. he seems to have a new name here! |
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| Me! |
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| Kinder friends |
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| Aditya's rendition of Jackson Pollock |
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| Jackson Pollock paintings by the kinders |
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| Ceramic Tile by Aditya |
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| van Gogh Starry night ? (Mom's limited knowledge of art is showing here:) |
Saturday, June 2, 2012
A quick overview of the past three months
Over the past three months we have noticed the following changes in Aditya:
a. A huge difference in the quality and usage of language.
A few examples that quickly come to mind:
One morning I celebrated him for dressing himself up the previous night and also gently reminded him to wear pajamas instead of his T-shirt and shorts when going to bed. He looked me in the eye and said,"I am sorry that I wore this (pointing to his T-shirt) overnight. I will remember to wear pajamas from now on."
Using words like "overnight " and "from now on" casually in a conversation is definitely something he was not doing so far.
Just this morning, while we were talking, Aditya farted. He smiled and instantly started counting out "Skunk in the garden PU somebody farted, that's you" consciously ending the song so he was IT :) Extreme spontaneity and no judgements about farting at all!
b. Extreme flexibility inside and outside of the playroom too!
We have been playing a wide variety of games in the playroom, having lots of conversations on his topics and then expanding left, right and center :) A lot of times, as I go into the playroom, he says, "Today let us talk of something you want to, before we talk about my topic!"
Outside the playroom too, I have changed plans on the fly after picking up sister from school (with his permission, of course!) The last time I remember, we were running low on gas and I asked if we could go fill the gas tank at Costco. Sister reminded how we were running out of kitchen paper towels and Aditya was totally excited to go into the store to get them. On the way back, we had to take a detour because of road construction and we passed the Indian store. Realizing we hardly ever go there any more but that we could get Okra, which the kids love, if we go in now I just put it out to them. Both kids jumped at the idea. We ended up getting a couple other vegetables which are not available at the local farmers market where I usually shop. This is big because Aditya is really a stickler when it comes to buying conventional produce (vs organic, which we usually buy.)
c. An increase in physical strength and abilities. He loves doing pullups and swinging and as a result has stronger muscles. After some encouragement, he tried and has now mastered the monkey bars at school.
d. A drop in Eye contact, especially outside the playroom.
e. Difficulty making a deeper connection with people and his surroundings, kids in particular. This is in contrast to what we were seeing earlier this year. He was connected and showing a lot of interest in peers. Currently he seems to be Ok being around them but not enjoying their company or initiating conversations with them.
I also observed a few things we had never seen before: He ran away from us while we were at the library. I was with sister and the librarian trying to find a book for her science project (which he was clearly not interested in, but he was there because we had a deal.) Suddenly I noticed that he was not around and called out his name. After asking sister to stay with the librarian, I walked to the main entrance, where I found him starting a sprint back to the kids area. He was surprised to find me there. But noticing my body language, he asked me what had happened. I then told him that I was concerned about his safety and made it clear that I needed him to stay by our side in his own body space. Once I said that, he was the most compliant kid anybody had ever seen!
I have also noticed him having a hard time staying in his own body space when he is around me (mom). He has the urge to touch, hug and kiss me, even in inappropriate situations and times , like the grocery store, school and library.
This post is a reminder to us as to where he currently is. He seems to be working really hard on certain aspects of his development, so is currently not focussing on the rest.
We love him and admire him for taking care of himself in his own special ways. It is also a reason for us as parents to look into what has been going on and realign our program to help his needs better. He is now on a reduced schedule at school, attending 4 hours a week. We have amped up our playroom hours, added new team members. We have a lovely new team of 4 people! Training them and seeing how he enjoys their company has been a joy!
a. A huge difference in the quality and usage of language.
A few examples that quickly come to mind:
One morning I celebrated him for dressing himself up the previous night and also gently reminded him to wear pajamas instead of his T-shirt and shorts when going to bed. He looked me in the eye and said,"I am sorry that I wore this (pointing to his T-shirt) overnight. I will remember to wear pajamas from now on."
Using words like "overnight " and "from now on" casually in a conversation is definitely something he was not doing so far.
Just this morning, while we were talking, Aditya farted. He smiled and instantly started counting out "Skunk in the garden PU somebody farted, that's you" consciously ending the song so he was IT :) Extreme spontaneity and no judgements about farting at all!
b. Extreme flexibility inside and outside of the playroom too!
We have been playing a wide variety of games in the playroom, having lots of conversations on his topics and then expanding left, right and center :) A lot of times, as I go into the playroom, he says, "Today let us talk of something you want to, before we talk about my topic!"
Outside the playroom too, I have changed plans on the fly after picking up sister from school (with his permission, of course!) The last time I remember, we were running low on gas and I asked if we could go fill the gas tank at Costco. Sister reminded how we were running out of kitchen paper towels and Aditya was totally excited to go into the store to get them. On the way back, we had to take a detour because of road construction and we passed the Indian store. Realizing we hardly ever go there any more but that we could get Okra, which the kids love, if we go in now I just put it out to them. Both kids jumped at the idea. We ended up getting a couple other vegetables which are not available at the local farmers market where I usually shop. This is big because Aditya is really a stickler when it comes to buying conventional produce (vs organic, which we usually buy.)
c. An increase in physical strength and abilities. He loves doing pullups and swinging and as a result has stronger muscles. After some encouragement, he tried and has now mastered the monkey bars at school.
d. A drop in Eye contact, especially outside the playroom.
e. Difficulty making a deeper connection with people and his surroundings, kids in particular. This is in contrast to what we were seeing earlier this year. He was connected and showing a lot of interest in peers. Currently he seems to be Ok being around them but not enjoying their company or initiating conversations with them.
I also observed a few things we had never seen before: He ran away from us while we were at the library. I was with sister and the librarian trying to find a book for her science project (which he was clearly not interested in, but he was there because we had a deal.) Suddenly I noticed that he was not around and called out his name. After asking sister to stay with the librarian, I walked to the main entrance, where I found him starting a sprint back to the kids area. He was surprised to find me there. But noticing my body language, he asked me what had happened. I then told him that I was concerned about his safety and made it clear that I needed him to stay by our side in his own body space. Once I said that, he was the most compliant kid anybody had ever seen!
I have also noticed him having a hard time staying in his own body space when he is around me (mom). He has the urge to touch, hug and kiss me, even in inappropriate situations and times , like the grocery store, school and library.
This post is a reminder to us as to where he currently is. He seems to be working really hard on certain aspects of his development, so is currently not focussing on the rest.
We love him and admire him for taking care of himself in his own special ways. It is also a reason for us as parents to look into what has been going on and realign our program to help his needs better. He is now on a reduced schedule at school, attending 4 hours a week. We have amped up our playroom hours, added new team members. We have a lovely new team of 4 people! Training them and seeing how he enjoys their company has been a joy!
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