It is the last few hours of the Labor day weekend, and as I look back at it, I am beyond awe-struck with what I am seeing about the new Aditya and what that means for our.. seemingly... new... life!
1. We decided on Sunday afternoon that we would spent Monday afternoon going biking (bicycling)-- with all four of us riding their own bikes. Since we the parents have been sharing a bicycle, we decided to go and get a new one from Walmart. (We used to avoid going here with Aditya at all costs until 2 years ago.) When we went there on Saturday night, a few bikes were left, and Baba checked them out, tried them, etc and both the kids were super interested... not just patient... with this. But the sweet bonus came when we told Aditya we had to leave this place as they did not have their best bikes in stock as it was late evening. We would have to come back another time, maybe tomorrow. To this, Aditya who usually avoids going shopping suggested we go to the next door Target so Baba can get a bike and we all can still go tomorrow! I was of course blown away, thanked him profusely, and in fact, that was something I had not considered. We went there and even got a bike. Aditya, in both stores, was super excited about the gears on all these bikes! He asked me over and over again how I like my new bike with gears:-)
2. On Saturday before we went to Walmart, we had actually been to the nearest park to our new home, with the kids on their bikes, and Baba on the common bike that Aai and Baba were sharing. (Aai came later in the car.) Over there, I (Baba) saw a boy I had never seen before. He INVITED a girl to join him and Shreya on the tyre swing, saying: "Come on, join us!" Later he and some other kids played together on a wheel that had to be turned around either by walking on it, or someone pushing it by hand. It was like a tilted merry-go-round. (Frankly I do not know the name for this thing.) Two things: the kids totally accepted him in their "tribe".
THIS IS A FIRST.
Oftentimes our grown up friends do not get what after all are his challenges, but then their kids meet him, and then SHUN HIM. He is just not interesting and inviting and social enough for their kids, even if he can talk easily about cars and various forms of energy... for hours.
But today, the kids were actually finding him to be one of them. (Do you guys know how much we have waited for this day?) Some specifics about this. The boys and girls actually took turns pushing the wheel, and Aditya followed the "tribe rules" as they were being defined and re-defined on the go! He still was not picking up certain really advanced cues like "everyone is taking turns pushing it", but when a girl yelled about how girls will push and boys will sit, followed by boys will push and girls will sit, he totally followed it!
3. Today, it is close to dinner time, and we have decided to make fresh pesto pasta using rice pasta flakes and freshly made pesto. Aditya asked, "Can I make the pesto with you?" "What did you say?" I say to him. "Can I be part of making the pesto?"
We celebrated him for this obviously, then quickly made a deal that he would go to the backyard with a hammer and break open the walnut shells, while Baba will clean and cut basil leaves. Before Baba knew, Aditya was done both breaking the shells as well as neatly putting them in a bowl! Where is the guy who just wants to consume the already-made-bowl-of-pasta?
There were a few other challenges observed over the weekend, but the top 3 news are what you already read. Anyways, here are some challenges.
1. Very distracted by light coming through window shutters. Our new volunteer did not know this, and did not help Aditya by closing the shutters. GOOD! That's how we came to know he still has this challenge.
2. Anxious when the volunteer is even 2 minutes late. Before another volunteer's arrival, stopped eating 10 minutes in advance, and sat at the door and looked for the volunteer's car to come.
3. Rigid about not wanting to go to the library.... which is something we did on Saturday too in order to get him excited about the library and books in general. Once there, he got pretty excited though when Baba helped him find books about simple machines, energy, and airplanes!
P.S.
1. Baba and Aditya had played a quiz game earlier in the week about simple machines. Since then Aditya is hooked on to finding examples of levers, pulleys, and inclined planes, wherever he goes!
2. He also has a new found love for conversion between milli, centi, deci, deca, hecto, and kilo-meters, grams, and liters.
Monday, September 3, 2012
Saturday, September 1, 2012
Thank God It's Friday- 2
So as I said, here I am posting about this last Friday i.e. August 31, 2012.
Since I showed up a little early last time, Aditya came to me and chatted with me. Today, I wanted to go a little late and see if he had opened up a bit with the other kids.
I reached just in time for the class to start, and Aditya was actually entering the class. I came from behind and tapped him gently on his head, put his tie-dyed shirt in the box it had to go into, put a check mark against his name, etc. By this time he had gone and taken a seat in his assigned spot. I went over and stayed behind him. He noticed me and looked behind and gave me a look he had never given before. It was a look that said, "I am okay dad, you can stop coming here". Was I dreaming? He then said, "Okay!" I said "what do you mean okay?" to which he said, "I am doing okay". So indeed I was right about what I saw on his face:-)
It is DEAR time (Drop Everything And Read). Aditya is aware of the expectations, so he does his thing to fulfill them. He is done reading his book, so he goes back and puts it back in the class library. He then spends a bit of time there, even sits down along with some other kids who are there (Aai later explained to me that he must have been in the group that gets to sit in the class library during DEAR today). He then comes back with another book in his hand. He puts it in his folder. He quickly scans me as I am making some notes on a piece of paper. WOW! He moves on after seeing that I am busy! Where is the guy who would not look what the other person is doing before asking them questions?
Now I am done making my note (and I am also done feeling tickled inside that he actually noticed me being busy and moved on). So I go to him and say, "Did you want to say something to me when I was writing?"
He then quickly opens his reading log and shows off what books he has been reading through the week. (Very cool showing that off to me. I was so happy:-))
I then say to him that he can read more if he wants to. He says he already got his book for the next time. I say that he can still go and read another book, that would be totally fine. He said he wouldn't want to. Very assertive there. But why would he not want to read something, or just do something? I get the impression that he is doing things to fit expectations. The "want to read" is missing.
It is 1pm and the pendulum clock sounds a bell. Aditya's neighbor second grader R says loudly to no one in particular, "It is not a bell. It is just the clock." He then asks the teacher if they can read for another 15 minutes.
I did not hear that very well so I ask Aditya to tell me what R said. He smiles in a way that is very "social" and tells me, "he is asking for 15 minutes to read". (It seems from my discussion later with Aai that their teacher is firm and loving as she says she cannot agree to a request like that. So apparently Aditya was expecting her to say the same thing to R and he was expressing a feeling of the kind: "someone tell this guy she won't listen".)
I then tell Aditya about a book about airplanes I am seeing from a distance. He again tells me he has already selected a book. I say let's go anyways! This time around, he comes. We go and find that it is in a blue bin. He has announced to us he won't read books from that and the red bin as that is for advanced readers. (We actually think he can. He is perhaps just exercising control.) So I say hard luck, and we come back.
At this point, D (the guy who had stuck his face in Aditya's face last week) seems to have walked over Aditya's hands. Aditya has teared up. D is overwhelmed and at a loss. Teacher resolves the matter and suggests D be more mindful of what he is doing. I am feeling a bit silly (but accepting of me) that I was writing these notes at that point instead of seeing what happened.
It is sharing time. Two kids have brought some stuff (their toys etc) in a paper bag which they share with the class. As A the boy shares his stuff, other kids raise their hands to ask questions or make comments. Aditya is looking totally disinterested. I am not sure he is listening at all. Some other kids are finding it hard to stay interested as well.
Now it's K's turn to share. K is the same social butterfly whose birthday it was last week. Now Aditya suddenly looks at her with interest. She goes on to show a rope she brought from home. Aditya looks at me. I show a very interested face and look at K. He looks back at her then!
They are all sitting on the rug at that point. The boy sitting next to him decides to recline and ends up leaning over Aditya who scoots away. Nice talking care of himself.
Now the sharing time is over, and the teacher makes an announcement about it being the last day of the week before the long weekend. She wants everyone to clean up their cubby. She explains what should stay and what should go home, what should be turned in, etc. There will be a cubby clean up check too.
Everyone is back at their desk. I am with Aditya at his desk. He seem totally confused with all these instructions about the cubby clean out. I ask him if he knows what it is that he needs to do. He says he does not know. I wonder aloud as usual, and he decides to go ask the teacher. He ADDRESSES her by name, asks his question, and successfully gets an answer. Hurray! He and I now go and put things in his mail, submit his things to the class, and file away something else in the Math folder. A lot of little things like that, which apparently he has found a little too many to keep in his mind and process one by one.
After that is done, Aditya goes to the front of the class where some kids are playing a board game. He leans over and watches with interest.
Another boy M comes to me and thinking I am the aiding parent, asks if I can go with him to the outside where he can play with the ball.
The teacher notices it and sends somebody (her own son actually who he is helping out currently) to go with M.
Aditya comes to the teacher at the same time and asks what he can do.
She offers the option of reading or going out with her son, and he immediately takes up the offer to go out. I follow them too.
Initially, M finds a ball, and so does Aditya, but Aditya realizes soon (NICE) that there is not enough air pressure in it. He then says, "there is a rule in this school that kids cannot get a ball". I have no idea about where he is coming from. But knowing that this could be presented as an opportunity to go play with M, I say to him, "So you can play with M". And he says YES to it. But we then also find another ball lying a bit farther away. Showing his preference to playing by himself, he goes gets the ball instead of going to M.
I decide to dialog myself here, and say, "THIS IS EXCITING. He will go up from here and socialize with other kids". And bang! The universe responds in less than a second, as M is inviting Aditya to join him! Aditya agrees right away!
I start seeing their game of "1-touch", only to see that another kid J joins them.
J is a pro at "1-touch" and is also very competitive. So as the three kids start playing, Aditya's limitations are exposed quickly. He does not really know the game, and J is brutal in calling him "out" when he does not do his thing right. I quickly take Aditya to the other side of that wall-like structure where I and he practice some 1-touch and remember how we used to play a similar 1-touch with our feet in the playroom.
Soon M is on our side to check us out. We go over to his side, and now I say to Aditya that he can go play with the other two kids as he now knows what game it is and how to play it.
Aditya makes himself LOUD and CLEAR: "Hey can I be in the game too"?
"Sure", say M and J. Sweet! Our boy has arrived!
But soon enough, the story repeats itself. Aditya is not really moving as quickly as the other two, and seems to miss his turn, at which point J makes sure to call him out.
I then come in, and tell him we will watch the game a little bit to know how to play it. And that he is already doing better by trying to join their game. He likes it and we watch. Soon, J has beaten M and says "EVERYBODY IN NOW". I send Aditya in again. This time, he does better and gets the ball right and touches it with 1 bounce over to the wall. He does it so lightly that the ball does not return with much force and so M cannot get to the ball in time, and thus M is out. J looks at Aditya and smiles and says, "You got M out, Aditya". Aditya is excited and tells me that he got someone out. He also adds he does not know how he could get someone out. I explain what that means.
So we play a little longer. Aditya touches the ball once in a while, but mostly does not get there on time, as he is not really moving on his feet. He is folding his hands and putting them behind his back, appearing stiff and not really flowing with the game.
Eventually I think he reaches the limit of his patience and starts isming about how he is going to invent a version of 1-touch which works in a reverse order. I invite him out again and say to him if he wants to play with the boys he has to watch them or play, and that they won't be listening to his invention right now.
In the meantime 3 other boys come and join the game. Aditya's interest is weaning. I resolve to do 1-touch with him at home, preferably with another volunteer so he gets the three-some experience!
Aditya now wants to go back to his class. When we go back, the teacher welcomes and tells him he can do free choice as his job was that of the moderator so he does not have anything to do till the end.
Aditya goes to the front of the class. This time, he very strongly connects to the boys and girls playing a game that looks similar to "Connect-4" except it is called "Make 7". First watches them really closely, and later even joins the club and makes comments, and even plays a little bit.
Soon it is the last few minutes or so, and Aditya sits in the moderator chair. Teacher reminds him to get reports from the chairs monitor and the floor monitor. (There are lots of such opportunities for him to go and talk to other kids, where it is clearly defined what to do. NICE! He will feel comfortable talking to his class mates if he continued doing those things.)
There is now a discussion about "cutting in the line". Aditya seems to listen but he is not raising his hand. This is followed by a quick group conversation about the letter of the day- S. Aditya is not saying much but he is listening.
Finally, it is the moment he was waiting for, as he gets to be in control being the "moderator". He and the other moderator have a little bit of an exchange where they agree (or maybe the other guy says and Aditya readily agrees) on dismissing the whole class by saying "CLASS DISMISSED" while making a super-silly face at DIS-MISSED.
That's it. The kids run like a flock of birds, and so does Aditya!
He is definitely more on his feet this Friday. He is also definitely addressing people by their first name, instead of just saying HEY which was not getting him success last week! Smart boy, and a fast learner! He is definitely more easily connecting to the other kids over board games, but he is clearly challenged in his ability to flow with a physical activity or game like 1-touch.
I am so grateful I have had this chance to be with him on these 2 Fridays, and even within this short period of time I have watched him change and grow so much! Well done, Aditya!!! Actually... well doing Aditya:-)
Since I showed up a little early last time, Aditya came to me and chatted with me. Today, I wanted to go a little late and see if he had opened up a bit with the other kids.
I reached just in time for the class to start, and Aditya was actually entering the class. I came from behind and tapped him gently on his head, put his tie-dyed shirt in the box it had to go into, put a check mark against his name, etc. By this time he had gone and taken a seat in his assigned spot. I went over and stayed behind him. He noticed me and looked behind and gave me a look he had never given before. It was a look that said, "I am okay dad, you can stop coming here". Was I dreaming? He then said, "Okay!" I said "what do you mean okay?" to which he said, "I am doing okay". So indeed I was right about what I saw on his face:-)
It is DEAR time (Drop Everything And Read). Aditya is aware of the expectations, so he does his thing to fulfill them. He is done reading his book, so he goes back and puts it back in the class library. He then spends a bit of time there, even sits down along with some other kids who are there (Aai later explained to me that he must have been in the group that gets to sit in the class library during DEAR today). He then comes back with another book in his hand. He puts it in his folder. He quickly scans me as I am making some notes on a piece of paper. WOW! He moves on after seeing that I am busy! Where is the guy who would not look what the other person is doing before asking them questions?
Now I am done making my note (and I am also done feeling tickled inside that he actually noticed me being busy and moved on). So I go to him and say, "Did you want to say something to me when I was writing?"
He then quickly opens his reading log and shows off what books he has been reading through the week. (Very cool showing that off to me. I was so happy:-))
I then say to him that he can read more if he wants to. He says he already got his book for the next time. I say that he can still go and read another book, that would be totally fine. He said he wouldn't want to. Very assertive there. But why would he not want to read something, or just do something? I get the impression that he is doing things to fit expectations. The "want to read" is missing.
It is 1pm and the pendulum clock sounds a bell. Aditya's neighbor second grader R says loudly to no one in particular, "It is not a bell. It is just the clock." He then asks the teacher if they can read for another 15 minutes.
I did not hear that very well so I ask Aditya to tell me what R said. He smiles in a way that is very "social" and tells me, "he is asking for 15 minutes to read". (It seems from my discussion later with Aai that their teacher is firm and loving as she says she cannot agree to a request like that. So apparently Aditya was expecting her to say the same thing to R and he was expressing a feeling of the kind: "someone tell this guy she won't listen".)
I then tell Aditya about a book about airplanes I am seeing from a distance. He again tells me he has already selected a book. I say let's go anyways! This time around, he comes. We go and find that it is in a blue bin. He has announced to us he won't read books from that and the red bin as that is for advanced readers. (We actually think he can. He is perhaps just exercising control.) So I say hard luck, and we come back.
At this point, D (the guy who had stuck his face in Aditya's face last week) seems to have walked over Aditya's hands. Aditya has teared up. D is overwhelmed and at a loss. Teacher resolves the matter and suggests D be more mindful of what he is doing. I am feeling a bit silly (but accepting of me) that I was writing these notes at that point instead of seeing what happened.
It is sharing time. Two kids have brought some stuff (their toys etc) in a paper bag which they share with the class. As A the boy shares his stuff, other kids raise their hands to ask questions or make comments. Aditya is looking totally disinterested. I am not sure he is listening at all. Some other kids are finding it hard to stay interested as well.
Now it's K's turn to share. K is the same social butterfly whose birthday it was last week. Now Aditya suddenly looks at her with interest. She goes on to show a rope she brought from home. Aditya looks at me. I show a very interested face and look at K. He looks back at her then!
They are all sitting on the rug at that point. The boy sitting next to him decides to recline and ends up leaning over Aditya who scoots away. Nice talking care of himself.
Now the sharing time is over, and the teacher makes an announcement about it being the last day of the week before the long weekend. She wants everyone to clean up their cubby. She explains what should stay and what should go home, what should be turned in, etc. There will be a cubby clean up check too.
Everyone is back at their desk. I am with Aditya at his desk. He seem totally confused with all these instructions about the cubby clean out. I ask him if he knows what it is that he needs to do. He says he does not know. I wonder aloud as usual, and he decides to go ask the teacher. He ADDRESSES her by name, asks his question, and successfully gets an answer. Hurray! He and I now go and put things in his mail, submit his things to the class, and file away something else in the Math folder. A lot of little things like that, which apparently he has found a little too many to keep in his mind and process one by one.
After that is done, Aditya goes to the front of the class where some kids are playing a board game. He leans over and watches with interest.
Another boy M comes to me and thinking I am the aiding parent, asks if I can go with him to the outside where he can play with the ball.
The teacher notices it and sends somebody (her own son actually who he is helping out currently) to go with M.
Aditya comes to the teacher at the same time and asks what he can do.
She offers the option of reading or going out with her son, and he immediately takes up the offer to go out. I follow them too.
Initially, M finds a ball, and so does Aditya, but Aditya realizes soon (NICE) that there is not enough air pressure in it. He then says, "there is a rule in this school that kids cannot get a ball". I have no idea about where he is coming from. But knowing that this could be presented as an opportunity to go play with M, I say to him, "So you can play with M". And he says YES to it. But we then also find another ball lying a bit farther away. Showing his preference to playing by himself, he goes gets the ball instead of going to M.
I decide to dialog myself here, and say, "THIS IS EXCITING. He will go up from here and socialize with other kids". And bang! The universe responds in less than a second, as M is inviting Aditya to join him! Aditya agrees right away!
I start seeing their game of "1-touch", only to see that another kid J joins them.
J is a pro at "1-touch" and is also very competitive. So as the three kids start playing, Aditya's limitations are exposed quickly. He does not really know the game, and J is brutal in calling him "out" when he does not do his thing right. I quickly take Aditya to the other side of that wall-like structure where I and he practice some 1-touch and remember how we used to play a similar 1-touch with our feet in the playroom.
Soon M is on our side to check us out. We go over to his side, and now I say to Aditya that he can go play with the other two kids as he now knows what game it is and how to play it.
Aditya makes himself LOUD and CLEAR: "Hey can I be in the game too"?
"Sure", say M and J. Sweet! Our boy has arrived!
But soon enough, the story repeats itself. Aditya is not really moving as quickly as the other two, and seems to miss his turn, at which point J makes sure to call him out.
I then come in, and tell him we will watch the game a little bit to know how to play it. And that he is already doing better by trying to join their game. He likes it and we watch. Soon, J has beaten M and says "EVERYBODY IN NOW". I send Aditya in again. This time, he does better and gets the ball right and touches it with 1 bounce over to the wall. He does it so lightly that the ball does not return with much force and so M cannot get to the ball in time, and thus M is out. J looks at Aditya and smiles and says, "You got M out, Aditya". Aditya is excited and tells me that he got someone out. He also adds he does not know how he could get someone out. I explain what that means.
So we play a little longer. Aditya touches the ball once in a while, but mostly does not get there on time, as he is not really moving on his feet. He is folding his hands and putting them behind his back, appearing stiff and not really flowing with the game.
Eventually I think he reaches the limit of his patience and starts isming about how he is going to invent a version of 1-touch which works in a reverse order. I invite him out again and say to him if he wants to play with the boys he has to watch them or play, and that they won't be listening to his invention right now.
In the meantime 3 other boys come and join the game. Aditya's interest is weaning. I resolve to do 1-touch with him at home, preferably with another volunteer so he gets the three-some experience!
Aditya now wants to go back to his class. When we go back, the teacher welcomes and tells him he can do free choice as his job was that of the moderator so he does not have anything to do till the end.
Aditya goes to the front of the class. This time, he very strongly connects to the boys and girls playing a game that looks similar to "Connect-4" except it is called "Make 7". First watches them really closely, and later even joins the club and makes comments, and even plays a little bit.
Soon it is the last few minutes or so, and Aditya sits in the moderator chair. Teacher reminds him to get reports from the chairs monitor and the floor monitor. (There are lots of such opportunities for him to go and talk to other kids, where it is clearly defined what to do. NICE! He will feel comfortable talking to his class mates if he continued doing those things.)
There is now a discussion about "cutting in the line". Aditya seems to listen but he is not raising his hand. This is followed by a quick group conversation about the letter of the day- S. Aditya is not saying much but he is listening.
Finally, it is the moment he was waiting for, as he gets to be in control being the "moderator". He and the other moderator have a little bit of an exchange where they agree (or maybe the other guy says and Aditya readily agrees) on dismissing the whole class by saying "CLASS DISMISSED" while making a super-silly face at DIS-MISSED.
That's it. The kids run like a flock of birds, and so does Aditya!
He is definitely more on his feet this Friday. He is also definitely addressing people by their first name, instead of just saying HEY which was not getting him success last week! Smart boy, and a fast learner! He is definitely more easily connecting to the other kids over board games, but he is clearly challenged in his ability to flow with a physical activity or game like 1-touch.
I am so grateful I have had this chance to be with him on these 2 Fridays, and even within this short period of time I have watched him change and grow so much! Well done, Aditya!!! Actually... well doing Aditya:-)
Friday, August 31, 2012
Thank God It's Friday - 1!
Today was Friday. I (Baba) worked from home, and also showed up in Aditya's class to support him during the last 2 hours of school.
I also did the same thing last Friday. I did not write about how that went either, so I am going to write about that Friday in this post. I will write about today in my next post.
Last Friday, I saw the following:
1. It's just after lunch as I reach Aditya's class. Aditya has spotted my car long ago, and welcomes me with a smile, and tells me how he spotted my car. We sit outside his class in a line formed by other kids. He is not talking to anyone else. He is either talking to me or not doing anything. I ask him "who is this?" and he tells me X when it is in fact Y. He then does say he misunderstood and X is over there.
2. Still on way into the class, D sticks his face into Aditya's face and says something. D either loves to do this or has his own sensory overload issues. In any case, Aditya steps back in a sluggish manner, and says "Stop doing that. If you don't then I will step back." Not very sophisticated there, but he is awesome at taking care of himself!
3. It's Agenda time. Similar to the issue mentioned in the last post by Aai, last Friday's agenda had a group of kids complain about 3rd graders who came and ate lunch in their garden, and went away without cleaning up the seeds that they had made piles of. And so the kids in our class "had to" clean those seeds up. The class offered solutions like "speak to a grown up", "speak to the teacher and ask her to email the other class teacher" (this was the most popular solution by the way), "get help from W whose sister is in that class", etc. The kids who had brought the problem before the class acknowledged if it was a valid solution and if they had tried it already.
At this point, my son throws his hand in the air. He does it when I least expect him! The group gives him a chance.
"You just ignore them and walk away!" says Aditya.
I AM JUMPING FOR JOY INSIDE.
But no one gets it. I think even the teacher did not get it. I later asked Aditya what he meant. He confirma what I had thought he meant. (And that's why I had jumped for joy.) Aditya had basically suggested to them that they did not have to see this as a problem. They did not have to pick up the seeds. They could choose to pick them up OR they could choose not to. In either case, complaining was okay on one hand but not going to get them anything on the other hand.
(It's amazing what 3 years of SON RISE can do to you and your child. Both great minds begin to think alike:-)
So the teacher says to Aditya that his idea (i.e. walking away) would be a solution too but she added that perhaps Aditya meant walk away and get a grown up to help. Aditya did not object to this.
In general during agenda, Aditya was very quiet and seemed to be listening and taking it in.
4. Also during agenda, the teacher says, "If they called your name already you can put down your hand, and speak when the person before you is done." Aditya was great in following this agreement once she made it clear! No more constantly raising and waving his hands to get attention, the way I saw on day 1.
5. It is time to finish unfinished work from the morning. The aiding parent thinks he is not done, and asks him to do it. The idea is to write about how the family spent the summer. Aditya has apparently already written about it. But he does not question her why he has to still do it. He continues to the next page, and then seems to stare into space. I just sit next to him after a while. He says," where did we go this summer except for Lake Tahoe?" I say, "we did make a day trip to Monterey". And so he starts on the next page about a trip to Monterey. In the meantime the aiding parent comes and apologizes saying she thought he was not done, when in fact he was! Now I see. I see the first page where he has already written about the family's trip to Lake Tahoe. Now that he has been given clearance he erases what he has started writing on page 2. He is totally methodical, and is following the rule to the letter. Any parent's dream... except it is not! What am I thinking? I am wishing he felt okay about answering back and saying he was already done! (And a light bulb goes in my mind. We never ask or encourage our kids to do that to us... answering back! It is worth considering letting them do it. The home is where they can safely do it, and make mistakes too. Then in the world, they will feel more comfortable standing up for themselves.)
6. Jobs time. He does not know what his job is. I wonder aloud what he will do since he does not know what he is expected to do. "I will ask" comes the reply. SMART BOY! He goes up to his teacher and asks what job. She puts him together with another child, a girl named A, and says together they will be doing lunch monitor duty. Both are first graders and do not know how to. M is a second grader and does know. So he is assigned the task of going out with them and explaining to them how to do it. I follow the three into the lunch tables area. I see that M explains how to use this long pronged instrument to pick up trash from under lunch tables and put it in the appropriate bin-- landfill, compost, or recycle.
Aditya starts doing it. He has questions, and a lot of them. Where do you put this? That? That? And that? And that?
M explains patiently, but later says he does not have to because Aditya can read it from the picture that shows where to put what.
But Aditya is thinking about things like what do you do with a yogurt tube? What about a banana which has a piece of plastic stuck to it? First things first, do you put a banana into compost even if the picture shows an apple but no banana? I spend a bit of time explaining to him how they could not have shown every fruit, so if he sees a fruit but wants to throw away another fruit it still can go to the compost!
He does seem to have some rigidity to his thinking here. Soon he is more aware of what has to be done, and does it enthusiastically. Picks up all things trash, and puts them into different bins to the best of his and my ability. The other kids want to be done, but Aditya and I are loving this, and so we keep doing it just a bit longer. The other kids go. Once we are back, I ask Aditya to go ask the teacher where to put the prongs. He goes and asks. He does not wait for his turn though.
7. After jobs it is time to celebrate K's birthday. K is a girl, a social butterfly, a second grader. The teacher asks a few questions about K and her favorite things, as a way to generate interest about the birthday child. Our hero raises his hand 3 times. Once he guesses correctly that one of her favorite colors is purple. Another one is in answering "what does K like to eat?" and he says PIZZA but it is not the right answer. And he seems okay with it! The third time he raises his hand is to answer "what is K an expert at?" and a lot of the kids have answered with things like "comforting other people", "holding a chicken", etc.
"She is an expert at the monkey bar" says Aditya, and K smiles big time, saying that's correct. Aditya looks delighted as he even earns the teacher's praises for observing so well. At one point during this celebration he also clarifies that purple is not his favorite color but he guessed it was K's favorite.
A general observation here, is a lot of the kids seem bored with the questions and answers.
When the birthday song begins Aditya becomes a bit more light hearted and easy. The class votes to sing "Happy Birthday Cha Cha Cha" and so they do, including shaking their body etc. Aditya is loving this. But his expression is milder than the huge giggles from the other kids.
Soon it is treat time, and K is giving blueberries and strawberries to everyone. Aditya asks me with a voice not too loud but not too low (NICE!) if he can eat them. I show him a YES with my thumbs up. A burden seems to be lifted. Aditya is now definitely a lot more easy and relaxed, as I think. I realize that giving him his own packet of birthday treats to eat when other eat the conventional stuff, would go a long way in helping him feel easy around this issue. (And so we submit his treats-ziplock-bag in the following week.)
8. A small giggle and an exchange between Aditya and another boy D.
9. Towards the end the kids are being chatty, but Aditya is not. But there is a conversation about a cockroach happening around him, and he seems to catch it and laugh at it.
All in all, Aditya seems to be doing okay, but seems to have a challenge dealing with the energy of another 7 year old who got in his face. Other than that, he was also not using the name of a person when trying to get their attention. As in, he would say "Hey..." instead of "Hey John" to get someone's attention. This was actually great because he saw it not work, so he gets to decide if he wants to be more clear using a person's name instead of just HEY!
I also did the same thing last Friday. I did not write about how that went either, so I am going to write about that Friday in this post. I will write about today in my next post.
Last Friday, I saw the following:
1. It's just after lunch as I reach Aditya's class. Aditya has spotted my car long ago, and welcomes me with a smile, and tells me how he spotted my car. We sit outside his class in a line formed by other kids. He is not talking to anyone else. He is either talking to me or not doing anything. I ask him "who is this?" and he tells me X when it is in fact Y. He then does say he misunderstood and X is over there.
2. Still on way into the class, D sticks his face into Aditya's face and says something. D either loves to do this or has his own sensory overload issues. In any case, Aditya steps back in a sluggish manner, and says "Stop doing that. If you don't then I will step back." Not very sophisticated there, but he is awesome at taking care of himself!
3. It's Agenda time. Similar to the issue mentioned in the last post by Aai, last Friday's agenda had a group of kids complain about 3rd graders who came and ate lunch in their garden, and went away without cleaning up the seeds that they had made piles of. And so the kids in our class "had to" clean those seeds up. The class offered solutions like "speak to a grown up", "speak to the teacher and ask her to email the other class teacher" (this was the most popular solution by the way), "get help from W whose sister is in that class", etc. The kids who had brought the problem before the class acknowledged if it was a valid solution and if they had tried it already.
At this point, my son throws his hand in the air. He does it when I least expect him! The group gives him a chance.
"You just ignore them and walk away!" says Aditya.
I AM JUMPING FOR JOY INSIDE.
But no one gets it. I think even the teacher did not get it. I later asked Aditya what he meant. He confirma what I had thought he meant. (And that's why I had jumped for joy.) Aditya had basically suggested to them that they did not have to see this as a problem. They did not have to pick up the seeds. They could choose to pick them up OR they could choose not to. In either case, complaining was okay on one hand but not going to get them anything on the other hand.
(It's amazing what 3 years of SON RISE can do to you and your child. Both great minds begin to think alike:-)
So the teacher says to Aditya that his idea (i.e. walking away) would be a solution too but she added that perhaps Aditya meant walk away and get a grown up to help. Aditya did not object to this.
In general during agenda, Aditya was very quiet and seemed to be listening and taking it in.
4. Also during agenda, the teacher says, "If they called your name already you can put down your hand, and speak when the person before you is done." Aditya was great in following this agreement once she made it clear! No more constantly raising and waving his hands to get attention, the way I saw on day 1.
5. It is time to finish unfinished work from the morning. The aiding parent thinks he is not done, and asks him to do it. The idea is to write about how the family spent the summer. Aditya has apparently already written about it. But he does not question her why he has to still do it. He continues to the next page, and then seems to stare into space. I just sit next to him after a while. He says," where did we go this summer except for Lake Tahoe?" I say, "we did make a day trip to Monterey". And so he starts on the next page about a trip to Monterey. In the meantime the aiding parent comes and apologizes saying she thought he was not done, when in fact he was! Now I see. I see the first page where he has already written about the family's trip to Lake Tahoe. Now that he has been given clearance he erases what he has started writing on page 2. He is totally methodical, and is following the rule to the letter. Any parent's dream... except it is not! What am I thinking? I am wishing he felt okay about answering back and saying he was already done! (And a light bulb goes in my mind. We never ask or encourage our kids to do that to us... answering back! It is worth considering letting them do it. The home is where they can safely do it, and make mistakes too. Then in the world, they will feel more comfortable standing up for themselves.)
6. Jobs time. He does not know what his job is. I wonder aloud what he will do since he does not know what he is expected to do. "I will ask" comes the reply. SMART BOY! He goes up to his teacher and asks what job. She puts him together with another child, a girl named A, and says together they will be doing lunch monitor duty. Both are first graders and do not know how to. M is a second grader and does know. So he is assigned the task of going out with them and explaining to them how to do it. I follow the three into the lunch tables area. I see that M explains how to use this long pronged instrument to pick up trash from under lunch tables and put it in the appropriate bin-- landfill, compost, or recycle.
Aditya starts doing it. He has questions, and a lot of them. Where do you put this? That? That? And that? And that?
M explains patiently, but later says he does not have to because Aditya can read it from the picture that shows where to put what.
But Aditya is thinking about things like what do you do with a yogurt tube? What about a banana which has a piece of plastic stuck to it? First things first, do you put a banana into compost even if the picture shows an apple but no banana? I spend a bit of time explaining to him how they could not have shown every fruit, so if he sees a fruit but wants to throw away another fruit it still can go to the compost!
He does seem to have some rigidity to his thinking here. Soon he is more aware of what has to be done, and does it enthusiastically. Picks up all things trash, and puts them into different bins to the best of his and my ability. The other kids want to be done, but Aditya and I are loving this, and so we keep doing it just a bit longer. The other kids go. Once we are back, I ask Aditya to go ask the teacher where to put the prongs. He goes and asks. He does not wait for his turn though.
7. After jobs it is time to celebrate K's birthday. K is a girl, a social butterfly, a second grader. The teacher asks a few questions about K and her favorite things, as a way to generate interest about the birthday child. Our hero raises his hand 3 times. Once he guesses correctly that one of her favorite colors is purple. Another one is in answering "what does K like to eat?" and he says PIZZA but it is not the right answer. And he seems okay with it! The third time he raises his hand is to answer "what is K an expert at?" and a lot of the kids have answered with things like "comforting other people", "holding a chicken", etc.
"She is an expert at the monkey bar" says Aditya, and K smiles big time, saying that's correct. Aditya looks delighted as he even earns the teacher's praises for observing so well. At one point during this celebration he also clarifies that purple is not his favorite color but he guessed it was K's favorite.
A general observation here, is a lot of the kids seem bored with the questions and answers.
When the birthday song begins Aditya becomes a bit more light hearted and easy. The class votes to sing "Happy Birthday Cha Cha Cha" and so they do, including shaking their body etc. Aditya is loving this. But his expression is milder than the huge giggles from the other kids.
Soon it is treat time, and K is giving blueberries and strawberries to everyone. Aditya asks me with a voice not too loud but not too low (NICE!) if he can eat them. I show him a YES with my thumbs up. A burden seems to be lifted. Aditya is now definitely a lot more easy and relaxed, as I think. I realize that giving him his own packet of birthday treats to eat when other eat the conventional stuff, would go a long way in helping him feel easy around this issue. (And so we submit his treats-ziplock-bag in the following week.)
8. A small giggle and an exchange between Aditya and another boy D.
9. Towards the end the kids are being chatty, but Aditya is not. But there is a conversation about a cockroach happening around him, and he seems to catch it and laugh at it.
All in all, Aditya seems to be doing okay, but seems to have a challenge dealing with the energy of another 7 year old who got in his face. Other than that, he was also not using the name of a person when trying to get their attention. As in, he would say "Hey..." instead of "Hey John" to get someone's attention. This was actually great because he saw it not work, so he gets to decide if he wants to be more clear using a person's name instead of just HEY!
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Just another day at school ... really?
As I wrote in my previous blog post, I go to support Aditya in class for the last two hours each day. Every night, I (do my best to) update my husband about everything I saw at school. This takes about 30 minutes each time. Last night, my husband was busy working and had just a few minutes before he got back to his computer and I had to give him the highlights of what I saw. As I went over the day's events in my mind, I realized what an awesome day it was!
- After lunch, Aditya is among the first few to line up, wash his hands and start reading (it is DEAR time!) He started reading with total focus, recorded the book in his reading log, put it away, got another book. As he was putting the new book in his folder so he can be ready for reading the next day, he flipped and looked it over. Suddenly, he got up from his chair, went back to the library, put away the book and got another one. I found this to be profound! He is no longer just getting books and moving his eyes over the pages because somebody has asked him to do it, he is actually taking an interest in what he reads! He was totally cool about getting a book, not liking it and hence replacing it with something he likes.
- The entire class was on the rug for agenda time. In the end, the teacher asked everybody to stand and echo what she said and also mimic her. "Hello, my name is Joe and I work in a button factory..." (Similar to this on Youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGe3JhHMwTY )
Aditya enthusiastically joined in, followed the teacher and after a couple iterations, started giggling! OMG! He was so not rigid, so going with the flow and also enjoying the moment! It was so precious that I felt the need to have a good camera phone!
- After the song, his teacher wrote her expectations from the class for the remainder of the day:
a. Finish your "Hopes and Dreams for the year" picture and ask an adult to put it up on the wall
b. Complete things in your "Unfinished work" folder
c. Jobs
d. Dismissal
Aditya had already finished his "Hopes and Dreams" (He later told me that he had not written his real hopes and dreams because he didn't want everybody to know .. and it is anybody's guess what they are ... to reach the end of stage 5 in SRP!)
He then reached for his unfinished work folder and realized that he had finished everything. Then I pointed out to him that he still had papers in the folder. He had not realized that he needs to turn in work as he finishes it. He went up to his teacher and asked her where he could put it. She pointed him to a shelf where all the writing/ Math folders were lined up in name order. He found an adult to help with hole punching, found his writing folder, successfully opened it, carefully put in the paper, closed the clip and put the folder back in. He came to me and proudly said to me "Did you see how I did not just thrust the folder back into place? I gently pulled the folder on my left a few inches out, then put mine in and put the other boy's back in again."
(I was happy we had worked that in the playroom this summer. I had gone in asking him for help punching and filing copies of the developmental model in the folders for his new SRP friends who were to attend the first team meeting. He was motivated and it worked his motor skills:) I had not realized till that day how much planning it takes to actually file a piece of paper and put it away. I am so glad that I worked on skills that help him feel successful at school)
When he was turning his Math pattern papers, his teacher asked him to color the beginning letter of his name dark. Honestly, I was confused, since he had already colored the squares for various patterns, outlined the squares which had the letter at the beginning of his name. He persisted and asked his teacher, "Do you mean I should color this again?" She then explained again (I still did not get it). He thought for about 15 seconds, picked up a marker and started working on it. Done in a minute and back to the teacher.
He does not have an end-of-day class job this week. He is the moderator, who brings in the morning message, changes calendar, moderates meetings and agenda and dismisses kids at the end of the day. So while everybody else was busy with their unfinished work and jobs, he had nothing to do! He went up to his teacher and told her that he has been checked off all lists, and asked her what he could do now. She gave him the choice of reading or drawing/ coloring. He sprinted to the class library, saw a couple titles, turned around and sat on the rug. Watching him for a couple minutes, I joined him on the rug. Classic SRP joining in the middle of the classroom.. squinting eyes to look under the bookshelves, look at the parrot (class pet), stare at the rug. After about three minutes (which felt like forever in a busy classroom) I initiated a conversation with him. "Hi .. How are you doing? .. I noticed you going to the library and then not getting a book. What happened?" "I realized that I had already read today and I am just a little bit tired now. I want to sit on the rug and wait for teacher to read and then dismiss."
I think we need to work more strongly on his SRP goal of taking initiative.
- And here is what I thought was the highlight of the day .... At agenda, a group of girls brought up a problem they had. (These girls were crying hysterically after lunch the previous day and were working on it using conflict resolution techniques the entire time after lunch. They were finally ready to present their problem to the class) The girls explained their problem as follows, "We were playing in the mud yesterday, making houses for worms and other insects, as we love nature. Some kids came by and started saying that our club is yuck and started saying Ewww to us. We told them that they were hurting our feelings. But they kept saying mean things."
Aditya: "But why did you start crying?"
Girls: "Because we were very sad they said mean things to us."
Aditya: "Still, why did you cry?"
Girls: "Because we were upset about they calling us mean things."
Aditya: "But why not use words but use crying?"
I was about to roll on the floor with laughter! This has been a perspective modeled to him over the years in his SRP and he just couldn't get why they were crying!
Then the teacher intervened and said to him: "Well, Aditya, sometimes people get so sad and upset that they feel better when they cry."
Hmm, welcome, my son, to a world where happiness is not necessarily a choice :)
- After lunch, Aditya is among the first few to line up, wash his hands and start reading (it is DEAR time!) He started reading with total focus, recorded the book in his reading log, put it away, got another book. As he was putting the new book in his folder so he can be ready for reading the next day, he flipped and looked it over. Suddenly, he got up from his chair, went back to the library, put away the book and got another one. I found this to be profound! He is no longer just getting books and moving his eyes over the pages because somebody has asked him to do it, he is actually taking an interest in what he reads! He was totally cool about getting a book, not liking it and hence replacing it with something he likes.
- The entire class was on the rug for agenda time. In the end, the teacher asked everybody to stand and echo what she said and also mimic her. "Hello, my name is Joe and I work in a button factory..." (Similar to this on Youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGe3JhHMwTY )
Aditya enthusiastically joined in, followed the teacher and after a couple iterations, started giggling! OMG! He was so not rigid, so going with the flow and also enjoying the moment! It was so precious that I felt the need to have a good camera phone!
- After the song, his teacher wrote her expectations from the class for the remainder of the day:
a. Finish your "Hopes and Dreams for the year" picture and ask an adult to put it up on the wall
b. Complete things in your "Unfinished work" folder
c. Jobs
d. Dismissal
Aditya had already finished his "Hopes and Dreams" (He later told me that he had not written his real hopes and dreams because he didn't want everybody to know .. and it is anybody's guess what they are ... to reach the end of stage 5 in SRP!)
He then reached for his unfinished work folder and realized that he had finished everything. Then I pointed out to him that he still had papers in the folder. He had not realized that he needs to turn in work as he finishes it. He went up to his teacher and asked her where he could put it. She pointed him to a shelf where all the writing/ Math folders were lined up in name order. He found an adult to help with hole punching, found his writing folder, successfully opened it, carefully put in the paper, closed the clip and put the folder back in. He came to me and proudly said to me "Did you see how I did not just thrust the folder back into place? I gently pulled the folder on my left a few inches out, then put mine in and put the other boy's back in again."
(I was happy we had worked that in the playroom this summer. I had gone in asking him for help punching and filing copies of the developmental model in the folders for his new SRP friends who were to attend the first team meeting. He was motivated and it worked his motor skills:) I had not realized till that day how much planning it takes to actually file a piece of paper and put it away. I am so glad that I worked on skills that help him feel successful at school)
When he was turning his Math pattern papers, his teacher asked him to color the beginning letter of his name dark. Honestly, I was confused, since he had already colored the squares for various patterns, outlined the squares which had the letter at the beginning of his name. He persisted and asked his teacher, "Do you mean I should color this again?" She then explained again (I still did not get it). He thought for about 15 seconds, picked up a marker and started working on it. Done in a minute and back to the teacher.
He does not have an end-of-day class job this week. He is the moderator, who brings in the morning message, changes calendar, moderates meetings and agenda and dismisses kids at the end of the day. So while everybody else was busy with their unfinished work and jobs, he had nothing to do! He went up to his teacher and told her that he has been checked off all lists, and asked her what he could do now. She gave him the choice of reading or drawing/ coloring. He sprinted to the class library, saw a couple titles, turned around and sat on the rug. Watching him for a couple minutes, I joined him on the rug. Classic SRP joining in the middle of the classroom.. squinting eyes to look under the bookshelves, look at the parrot (class pet), stare at the rug. After about three minutes (which felt like forever in a busy classroom) I initiated a conversation with him. "Hi .. How are you doing? .. I noticed you going to the library and then not getting a book. What happened?" "I realized that I had already read today and I am just a little bit tired now. I want to sit on the rug and wait for teacher to read and then dismiss."
I think we need to work more strongly on his SRP goal of taking initiative.
- And here is what I thought was the highlight of the day .... At agenda, a group of girls brought up a problem they had. (These girls were crying hysterically after lunch the previous day and were working on it using conflict resolution techniques the entire time after lunch. They were finally ready to present their problem to the class) The girls explained their problem as follows, "We were playing in the mud yesterday, making houses for worms and other insects, as we love nature. Some kids came by and started saying that our club is yuck and started saying Ewww to us. We told them that they were hurting our feelings. But they kept saying mean things."
Aditya: "But why did you start crying?"
Girls: "Because we were very sad they said mean things to us."
Aditya: "Still, why did you cry?"
Girls: "Because we were upset about they calling us mean things."
Aditya: "But why not use words but use crying?"
I was about to roll on the floor with laughter! This has been a perspective modeled to him over the years in his SRP and he just couldn't get why they were crying!
Then the teacher intervened and said to him: "Well, Aditya, sometimes people get so sad and upset that they feel better when they cry."
Hmm, welcome, my son, to a world where happiness is not necessarily a choice :)
Monday, August 27, 2012
A New Beginning
Last week marked the beginning of the new school year for our kids. Our daughter is now a second grader and Aditya a first grader. How kids grow! I have been so busy enjoying miracles on a daily basis that taking a step back led me to discover fascinating changes in the larger picture!
This year, Aditya started in a 1/2 grade multi-age classroom. It basically means that the curriculum is focused on the philosophy that children progress on a continuum, regardless of age or grade, and the whole classroom is one community of learners. Concepts are presented to the whole class, with different expectations for students of different levels and abilities. Students may work in flexible, small groups based on ability rather than age or grade, so cross-age collaborations are accepted and encouraged. We think that this is an exciting place for Aditya to be, as he is among a group of students of varying age levels, academic abilities and social development.
We had a meeting with Aditya's new teacher a week before school started. We spoke to her about his diagnosis, how far he has come with the Son-Rise program and what she could expect stepping into the new school year.(For those just tuning in, Aditya goes to mainstream public school, where he is the only kid on the autism spectrum) With the knowledge that he was used to just 2 hours of school twice a week last year, she suggested that we be present to support him the last couple hours everyday, for the first few weeks. I jumped with joy! What would I have not given to get such a supporting teacher!
I started going into the classroom after lunch every day.
As I walked in on the very first day, I saw him tired and staring into space. I saw him not interacting with his table partner, though the other boy was initiating small social conversations. He was barely holding his own.... I decided to take a deep breath and BELIEVE that this is going to work out. The teacher then asked the kids to gather at the rug for some community building activities and I could not believe my eyes! Was it the same boy I had seen a few minutes ago? Really? He was raising his hand to answer questions, waiting till he was called on and asserting himself, clarifying his responses! Huge blow to my doubts! Yay!
Baba and Aditya had early morning Son-Rise sessions every day before school so he was ready to face the challenges of the new day!
On Tuesday, I was excited to be the aiding parent in his classroom for the two hours between snack and lunch, and then being his one-on-one support for the next two hours. I saw him interacting with a couple kids in class. He still had a flat affect, following rules exactly to the T because he was supposed to. He was more relaxed than the previous day, but had some rigidity to his being. The teacher explained in greater detail what she had outlined the previous day. (Their school practices the "Responsive Classroom" approach to education). As an observer, I wasn't sure if he was even present and listening to what she was saying. He was looking at the family photos on the classroom wall :)
On Wednesday, I saw him talking to a girl in his class as they lined up outside after lunch. Just a small exchange .. one loop at a time .. he is growing! Experiencing success! After lunch, they have DEAR (Drop Everything And Read) time. Aditya was looking at Leo, their African grey parrot class pet :) No book in hand or on the desk! The entire class was silent, absorbed in their books. Hmm .. I ask him if he knows what he is supposed to be doing. "Yeah, read. but I finished reading the book I got from home on Monday."
"Do you know that you can borrow a book from the class library?"
"Yeah, but they are too advanced and I am still a beginner."
"Lets go and see the different colored book bins and what they mean..."
So we explored the class library and he chose a book. He was so listless that I almost pitied him and felt like carrying him home in my arms. And then .. it felt like somebody sprinkled magic dust on him .. he was on the carpet, telling his teacher that he wanted to write his problem in the "Agenda book" (Agenda time is when a kid (or a group or kids) present any problems they might have. Then the class asks clarifying questions as needed and proceeds to suggest solutions. The child who brought up the problem then chooses a solution that he finds fit or chooses to defer if he does not think of any solution as the right one for him. It is a totally child driven process .. they have their own moderator and all solutions are offered and chosen by children, with no adult interference) Since they were running out of time, the teacher asked if Aditya would be okay to explain the problem and go through the process without first writing it down. He would then have time later to write it, possibly at free choice. He immediately agreed. He explained the situation he had encountered at lunch and precisely answered all clarifying questions he was asked. He then called on his classmates to give their solutions (I think he loved this the most, as he was in a position to choose who would be called on!) He even told one child that the solution he offered seemed not so nice (rude) and ended up picking one of four solutions offered.
Thursday was the day set to tie dye their field trip shirts. After DEAR, where Aditya chose his own book, the entire class agreed upon a handful of different activities they could have for free choice, while the adults pulled out a few kids at a time for tie dyeing. I saw a major challenge here: Aditya was sitting in the middle of the rug, surrounded by 10 kids playing with different stuff ranging from legos and stuffies to cars and board games. But he was doing nothing in particular .. probably looking at the birthdays of kids put up on the wall or the class pet or staring into thin air. He was eager to tie dye his shirt and did not choose any interactive activity while he waited. (When I later talked to his teacher about this "challenge" she pointed out to me that in not doing anything, he was making a choice and that she respected him for making a choice that was different than anybody else. I felt wonderful about her attitude.)
Since Friday is the day Baba works from home, he decided to be in class with Aditya and make his own observations. He will be posting about his experience soon...
This year, Aditya started in a 1/2 grade multi-age classroom. It basically means that the curriculum is focused on the philosophy that children progress on a continuum, regardless of age or grade, and the whole classroom is one community of learners. Concepts are presented to the whole class, with different expectations for students of different levels and abilities. Students may work in flexible, small groups based on ability rather than age or grade, so cross-age collaborations are accepted and encouraged. We think that this is an exciting place for Aditya to be, as he is among a group of students of varying age levels, academic abilities and social development.
We had a meeting with Aditya's new teacher a week before school started. We spoke to her about his diagnosis, how far he has come with the Son-Rise program and what she could expect stepping into the new school year.(For those just tuning in, Aditya goes to mainstream public school, where he is the only kid on the autism spectrum) With the knowledge that he was used to just 2 hours of school twice a week last year, she suggested that we be present to support him the last couple hours everyday, for the first few weeks. I jumped with joy! What would I have not given to get such a supporting teacher!
I started going into the classroom after lunch every day.
As I walked in on the very first day, I saw him tired and staring into space. I saw him not interacting with his table partner, though the other boy was initiating small social conversations. He was barely holding his own.... I decided to take a deep breath and BELIEVE that this is going to work out. The teacher then asked the kids to gather at the rug for some community building activities and I could not believe my eyes! Was it the same boy I had seen a few minutes ago? Really? He was raising his hand to answer questions, waiting till he was called on and asserting himself, clarifying his responses! Huge blow to my doubts! Yay!
Baba and Aditya had early morning Son-Rise sessions every day before school so he was ready to face the challenges of the new day!
On Tuesday, I was excited to be the aiding parent in his classroom for the two hours between snack and lunch, and then being his one-on-one support for the next two hours. I saw him interacting with a couple kids in class. He still had a flat affect, following rules exactly to the T because he was supposed to. He was more relaxed than the previous day, but had some rigidity to his being. The teacher explained in greater detail what she had outlined the previous day. (Their school practices the "Responsive Classroom" approach to education). As an observer, I wasn't sure if he was even present and listening to what she was saying. He was looking at the family photos on the classroom wall :)
On Wednesday, I saw him talking to a girl in his class as they lined up outside after lunch. Just a small exchange .. one loop at a time .. he is growing! Experiencing success! After lunch, they have DEAR (Drop Everything And Read) time. Aditya was looking at Leo, their African grey parrot class pet :) No book in hand or on the desk! The entire class was silent, absorbed in their books. Hmm .. I ask him if he knows what he is supposed to be doing. "Yeah, read. but I finished reading the book I got from home on Monday."
"Do you know that you can borrow a book from the class library?"
"Yeah, but they are too advanced and I am still a beginner."
"Lets go and see the different colored book bins and what they mean..."
So we explored the class library and he chose a book. He was so listless that I almost pitied him and felt like carrying him home in my arms. And then .. it felt like somebody sprinkled magic dust on him .. he was on the carpet, telling his teacher that he wanted to write his problem in the "Agenda book" (Agenda time is when a kid (or a group or kids) present any problems they might have. Then the class asks clarifying questions as needed and proceeds to suggest solutions. The child who brought up the problem then chooses a solution that he finds fit or chooses to defer if he does not think of any solution as the right one for him. It is a totally child driven process .. they have their own moderator and all solutions are offered and chosen by children, with no adult interference) Since they were running out of time, the teacher asked if Aditya would be okay to explain the problem and go through the process without first writing it down. He would then have time later to write it, possibly at free choice. He immediately agreed. He explained the situation he had encountered at lunch and precisely answered all clarifying questions he was asked. He then called on his classmates to give their solutions (I think he loved this the most, as he was in a position to choose who would be called on!) He even told one child that the solution he offered seemed not so nice (rude) and ended up picking one of four solutions offered.
Thursday was the day set to tie dye their field trip shirts. After DEAR, where Aditya chose his own book, the entire class agreed upon a handful of different activities they could have for free choice, while the adults pulled out a few kids at a time for tie dyeing. I saw a major challenge here: Aditya was sitting in the middle of the rug, surrounded by 10 kids playing with different stuff ranging from legos and stuffies to cars and board games. But he was doing nothing in particular .. probably looking at the birthdays of kids put up on the wall or the class pet or staring into thin air. He was eager to tie dye his shirt and did not choose any interactive activity while he waited. (When I later talked to his teacher about this "challenge" she pointed out to me that in not doing anything, he was making a choice and that she respected him for making a choice that was different than anybody else. I felt wonderful about her attitude.)
Since Friday is the day Baba works from home, he decided to be in class with Aditya and make his own observations. He will be posting about his experience soon...
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
We have moved!
About a week ago, we moved to a place closer to the school Aditya and Shreya go to. Makes for much easier transportation back and forth if Aditya does have to go reduced hours later, and even without, given the participation we as parents (want to) do at their school.
As for Aditya and Shreya, they got separate rooms, thus finally giving them a break from each other... and we are only partly kidding here!
The separation allows the two kids who clearly have different needs to get more of what they want. e.g. more Son Rise program for Aditya with his awesome grown up friends, without Shreya having to leave their room. Also, Aditya is an early riser and can now do so without waking up his sister. Lastly, Shreya can perhaps have her own play dates at the same time or at other times, in her own room! And add to this a nice backyard!
As of this week, the twins also began their school year. Aditya began attending first grade, while sister moved up to second grade.
It was the first time ever that Aditya did straight 6 hours of school. It was not easy. But he made it. Baba was in the class when the day began. Actually, all parents were allowed to be with their first grade child for the first hour and a half or so. Then, we were to leave.
Later, Aditya got a special something. Aai showed up for aiding in the class, and stayed till end of the day. Kudos to Aditya's new teacher for allowing (in fact asking for) it. Kudos to Aai for doing this, and kudos to us for moving, which actually made providing this level of support a whole lot easier than when we were living five and a half miles away.
This morning before school, Baba also took advantage of Aditya's separate room, and son-rised him exclusively for an hour. What a treat for both... combined with a fresh omelette breakfast served by Aai!
It was a session where I (Baba) did mostly joining him with his talk about geared bikes and cars, but then I celebrated him for the 2 amazing feats he accomplished yesterday:
1. Working on my feedback about raising his hand and waiting instead of talking out of turn or talking over the teacher or other kids. (Actually I was pretty amazed by how much he did that. He used to be much more cautious and as a result appeared either disinterested and un-spontaneous last year. Now, it was hard to stop him. The gas pedal was ON, and the brakes off. (Using an analogy related to his current ism of talking about cars:)
2. Going up to a grown up and asking for help when he did not know something. Including the time when he felt over-whelmed by the noise at the lunch table and went up to a parent aide to say "Please tell them to not be so noisy as I cannot handle it"!
He said he had fun yesterday. We know that by end of yesterday he was clearly tired and spent most of his time there without a clue as to what's expected of him in the relatively unstructured and high-intensity environment of 7 year olds.
I then told him about 2 new things he could do, if he wanted to have even more fun at school:
1. Be totally interested and listen to others speaking to him, and even others speaking to each other. Listening more can lead to an easy experience (because you know more and learn more when you listen)
2. Get help from other experienced people in his class. At this point I paused due to a hiccup. He guessed that I meant the second graders in his first-second grade combination class! Very smart!
As for Aditya and Shreya, they got separate rooms, thus finally giving them a break from each other... and we are only partly kidding here!
The separation allows the two kids who clearly have different needs to get more of what they want. e.g. more Son Rise program for Aditya with his awesome grown up friends, without Shreya having to leave their room. Also, Aditya is an early riser and can now do so without waking up his sister. Lastly, Shreya can perhaps have her own play dates at the same time or at other times, in her own room! And add to this a nice backyard!
As of this week, the twins also began their school year. Aditya began attending first grade, while sister moved up to second grade.
It was the first time ever that Aditya did straight 6 hours of school. It was not easy. But he made it. Baba was in the class when the day began. Actually, all parents were allowed to be with their first grade child for the first hour and a half or so. Then, we were to leave.
Later, Aditya got a special something. Aai showed up for aiding in the class, and stayed till end of the day. Kudos to Aditya's new teacher for allowing (in fact asking for) it. Kudos to Aai for doing this, and kudos to us for moving, which actually made providing this level of support a whole lot easier than when we were living five and a half miles away.
This morning before school, Baba also took advantage of Aditya's separate room, and son-rised him exclusively for an hour. What a treat for both... combined with a fresh omelette breakfast served by Aai!
It was a session where I (Baba) did mostly joining him with his talk about geared bikes and cars, but then I celebrated him for the 2 amazing feats he accomplished yesterday:
1. Working on my feedback about raising his hand and waiting instead of talking out of turn or talking over the teacher or other kids. (Actually I was pretty amazed by how much he did that. He used to be much more cautious and as a result appeared either disinterested and un-spontaneous last year. Now, it was hard to stop him. The gas pedal was ON, and the brakes off. (Using an analogy related to his current ism of talking about cars:)
2. Going up to a grown up and asking for help when he did not know something. Including the time when he felt over-whelmed by the noise at the lunch table and went up to a parent aide to say "Please tell them to not be so noisy as I cannot handle it"!
He said he had fun yesterday. We know that by end of yesterday he was clearly tired and spent most of his time there without a clue as to what's expected of him in the relatively unstructured and high-intensity environment of 7 year olds.
I then told him about 2 new things he could do, if he wanted to have even more fun at school:
1. Be totally interested and listen to others speaking to him, and even others speaking to each other. Listening more can lead to an easy experience (because you know more and learn more when you listen)
2. Get help from other experienced people in his class. At this point I paused due to a hiccup. He guessed that I meant the second graders in his first-second grade combination class! Very smart!
Thursday, August 9, 2012
He got me run out!
This morning, we played cricket after a really long time.
But it was no ordinary game of cricket. It was a limited overs (5 to be specific) game between teams of two kinds of cars. (Aditya is currently hooked on to different makes and models of cars and the features therein.)
So Aditya would play taking on names of various cars made-in-Asia-- which he spontaneously picked as a black stick shift Honda Civic, a metalic blue automatic Toyota Camry, a golden Hyundai Sonata, a green Nissan Quest, a turquoise Honda Fit, a black Toyota Prius, a red Toyota Camry Solara, a stick shift Mitsubishi Gallant, an automatic Hyundai Santro, etc. (Frankly, I forgot some of them... although I am sure he remembers all! And yes, he picked these all in a blink of an eye. He knows all about who makes which cars and where!)
Baba on the other hand, had a white Audi TT (the TT suggested by Aditya of course) leading a team of European made cars, including a Crimson Pearl stick-shift Wolkswagen Jetta, a red Ferrari, a dark blue Saab 93, an orange Fiat Paleo picked by me, a Fiat 360 recommended by Aditya, an Opel Astra, a grey stick shift BMW, etc.
Aditya batted first and scored 73 for 5 wickets. Baba batted and lost 3 quick wickets to amazing yorkers sent in by Aditya who was at that point pretending to be a grey Stick Shift Honda Odyssey.
White Audi TT the captain came in and scored 48 runs. Things got more interesting!
In the final over Baba needed 7 runs to win. Aditya sent in another couple of yorkers getting him out twice! On the last ball, Baba needed 3 to win. He touched the ball and ran two runs.
At the top of his motivation, Aditya threw the ball some 5 feet away directly at the make-shift stumps!
Baba was out, but elated at this amazing feat by Aditya who once had no ability to throw the ball at all!
Baba then gave Aditya the reward of a ride on his back.... but it was not an ordinary ride. Baba was a stick shift BMW that Aditya operated using a table tennis stick racket upside down! Neutral to 1st, back to neutral, switch to 2nd, back to neutral... and so on!
What a refreshing way to begin our day!
But it was no ordinary game of cricket. It was a limited overs (5 to be specific) game between teams of two kinds of cars. (Aditya is currently hooked on to different makes and models of cars and the features therein.)
So Aditya would play taking on names of various cars made-in-Asia-- which he spontaneously picked as a black stick shift Honda Civic, a metalic blue automatic Toyota Camry, a golden Hyundai Sonata, a green Nissan Quest, a turquoise Honda Fit, a black Toyota Prius, a red Toyota Camry Solara, a stick shift Mitsubishi Gallant, an automatic Hyundai Santro, etc. (Frankly, I forgot some of them... although I am sure he remembers all! And yes, he picked these all in a blink of an eye. He knows all about who makes which cars and where!)
Baba on the other hand, had a white Audi TT (the TT suggested by Aditya of course) leading a team of European made cars, including a Crimson Pearl stick-shift Wolkswagen Jetta, a red Ferrari, a dark blue Saab 93, an orange Fiat Paleo picked by me, a Fiat 360 recommended by Aditya, an Opel Astra, a grey stick shift BMW, etc.
Aditya batted first and scored 73 for 5 wickets. Baba batted and lost 3 quick wickets to amazing yorkers sent in by Aditya who was at that point pretending to be a grey Stick Shift Honda Odyssey.
White Audi TT the captain came in and scored 48 runs. Things got more interesting!
In the final over Baba needed 7 runs to win. Aditya sent in another couple of yorkers getting him out twice! On the last ball, Baba needed 3 to win. He touched the ball and ran two runs.
At the top of his motivation, Aditya threw the ball some 5 feet away directly at the make-shift stumps!
Baba was out, but elated at this amazing feat by Aditya who once had no ability to throw the ball at all!
Baba then gave Aditya the reward of a ride on his back.... but it was not an ordinary ride. Baba was a stick shift BMW that Aditya operated using a table tennis stick racket upside down! Neutral to 1st, back to neutral, switch to 2nd, back to neutral... and so on!
What a refreshing way to begin our day!
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