This is Baba... Aditya's dad. I volunteer in his class on Friday afternoons.
Two Fridays ago (when I first wrote this draft it was "last Friday")...
As usual I parked the car outside the school and began walking towards his class. It was a few minutes before the end of the lunch recess.
Suddenly, I saw something. Right before my eyes, another dear dream of mine was coming true.
I had dreamed about this for years, but had almost forgotten it.
Yes, yes, he has fulfilled not one, not two, but several of my "Daddy" dreams. Be it playing cricket together, joining each other in twisting tunes (i.e. singing one song on the tune of another), playing the guitars together, and so on.
Yet, this one dream had seemed so distant it almost felt impossible until only a few weeks ago.
What did I see?
He was playing basketball with three other boys! On his own! Without any coaxing or coaching. Or shall we say... because there was no coaxing and coaching?
Is that why you were not doing it, Aditya? That you felt as if we were trying to push you to do it?
One day, he will read this blog post. I will wait until that day to know the answer. I don't want to coax him for an answer right now:)
In the meantime, Aditya is dribbling the ball. He goes closer to the hoop. No one stops him. This is not a game. Then, he takes a shot at the hoop. The ball makes it into the hoop!
When movies are being edited, I hear it takes them several tries to get everything just right.
But... dreams are not movies. How did Aditya shoot the hoop right when I was seeing it?
Thank you, my friend! You continue to give me amazing beautiful experiences that cannot be explained, that need not be explained!
--Baba
Thursday, November 20, 2014
Thursday, November 6, 2014
News since beginning Third Grade!
Aditya entered Third grade in August 2014. This is his fourth year in the same school, third year going full time! (For the record, he has never had an IEP / 504 plan or any support, other than the reduced day schedule in Kindergarten)
In the 2.5 months so far, he has
1. gone on an overnight camping beach trip (3 days and 2 nights) with kids in his class (plus a few parent chaperons, including his own mom)
2. continued to maintain a reputation for being a great kid from the class parents (it is a parent participation school) as well as his new teacher Chris
3. loosened up remarkably compared to the last two years at the same school
4. made friends with a like minded (nice, gentle, appropriate) boy
5. liked by several kids, especially girls who like to be around this gentle young man than some of the more rambunctious ones.
6. made his own Halloween costume (Samsung Galaxy 4)
7. collected 57 pieces of candy on Halloween going out with sister and Baba
8. tapped on a 20 some year old girl's shoulders at Whole Foods to ask if she is in line for the Burrito Bowl, and when the girl asked, "yeah and how was your Halloween? Did you eat all your candy?" simply said, "No I don't eat any" without going into why
9. started learning the guitar, and is currently amazing his teacher by playing things he has learned on his own
But here is the most amazing feat so far.
Yesterday he said, "My teacher really likes me."
Aai asked, "how do you know?"
"From her body language", he replied :)
PRICELESS!
In the 2.5 months so far, he has
1. gone on an overnight camping beach trip (3 days and 2 nights) with kids in his class (plus a few parent chaperons, including his own mom)
2. continued to maintain a reputation for being a great kid from the class parents (it is a parent participation school) as well as his new teacher Chris
3. loosened up remarkably compared to the last two years at the same school
4. made friends with a like minded (nice, gentle, appropriate) boy
5. liked by several kids, especially girls who like to be around this gentle young man than some of the more rambunctious ones.
6. made his own Halloween costume (Samsung Galaxy 4)
7. collected 57 pieces of candy on Halloween going out with sister and Baba
8. tapped on a 20 some year old girl's shoulders at Whole Foods to ask if she is in line for the Burrito Bowl, and when the girl asked, "yeah and how was your Halloween? Did you eat all your candy?" simply said, "No I don't eat any" without going into why
9. started learning the guitar, and is currently amazing his teacher by playing things he has learned on his own
But here is the most amazing feat so far.
Yesterday he said, "My teacher really likes me."
Aai asked, "how do you know?"
"From her body language", he replied :)
PRICELESS!
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
The World Cup is here (again)
Read this post to know why this is such a special time for us.
Four years later, Adiya plays soccer (football) and a host of other interactive, physical games including wall ball, four square, baseball, etc.
It is a precious moment when we look back at the last world cup, and then come to the present where we can watch a world cup game together as a family!
On that note... we are planning to begin doing that real soon.
After 4 years without TV, we have brought back the TV.
Bring on the sports (and Aditya's favorite BILL NYE The Science Guy)... we are ready!
We are still firmly choosing not to let the TV dictate our lives though.
Four years later, Adiya plays soccer (football) and a host of other interactive, physical games including wall ball, four square, baseball, etc.
It is a precious moment when we look back at the last world cup, and then come to the present where we can watch a world cup game together as a family!
On that note... we are planning to begin doing that real soon.
After 4 years without TV, we have brought back the TV.
Bring on the sports (and Aditya's favorite BILL NYE The Science Guy)... we are ready!
We are still firmly choosing not to let the TV dictate our lives though.
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
Really? It's been over 4 months!
What happened? Why haven't we posted for such a long time?
Rather than explain that... I will get straight to posting.
1. We had the third Son Rise intensive for Aditya in early April. Yup! We thought long and hard about the need to do this. In the end, it turned out to be just the most perfect thing we could do to help Aditya with his social and peer-relationship skills. In one word, the Son Rise program is... miraculous. Because in one word, the Son Rise program teachers and facilitators are, phenomenal. They went out of their way to make things happen for Aditya that are probably rare for an intensive... such as outdoor play, a playdate with a child, a playdate with two peers and a walk around the property to help Aditya "unwind" ! Wow! I don't know what else a parent can ask for. The folks over at Son Rise really know what they are doing.
While Aditya was having a blast playing and at the same time, climbing new mountains of social skills, Aai and Baba received lots of effective questions and guidance on how best to move forward from here. When we returned, we knew exactly what we needed to do.
2. And then did we do it? Well, that's a whole different story. We sure have started doing some things differently than before, but we still have a number of recommendations from our intensive to put in practice. Of the things we are doing differently, we are now inviting Aditya to "do" rather than "plan" and "think". This is something we are trying to do in all situations, play or otherwise. The things we know we need to do but haven't done, includes helping Aditya get comfortable using his whole body in play, by enrolling him in an activity like rock climbing. One thing we did try is a local boy scouts club. Well, this club seemed a little too chaotic to us during our visit, and so far we haven't searched for another club.
3. Diet. Oh.. the diet. It is amazing that we gained a lot more mileage in our program in the first 2 years when we were eating a number of things (e.g. wheat) we no longer eat. Recognizing how our constant attention to making special foods is hindering both, our play time with Aditya as well as his ease in social situations, we are deciding to relax our diet just a little bit. We are still not totally completely going back on it though.
4. He needs lots more play dates with kids who are socially inviting, as well as physically active rather than cerebral. This is still a To-Do for us! The good news is Aditya demonstrated he can not just handle, but even thrive in the company of kids. He played with two girls at the intensive. He not only got along nicely with them... but they even wrote letters to each other after coming back! Now all he needs is... practice, practice, practice... playing with different kids.
5. Aditya's program currently has one volunteer... Arjun. At the moment we are not planning to add any other volunteers. When Arjun leaves in a month (as he will go to college on east coast) it will be back to just Aai and Baba playing with Aditya... the way we did before we even got our Son Rise program training.
6. In the meantime, Aditya continues to do well at school. He did great with his animal research, and country research projects. He went up the stage like every year, and sang and played "Country Roads" this time. He has made half a dozen friends on his own! There is only one area now where we feel concerned about him. It is his desire for appropriateness from everyone around him is inappropriately high :) He ends up coming across as crabby... someone who is constantly calling out others' inappropriate behaviors. Other than this, he is doing sensationally well. He no longer seems stuck during unstructured time. He is making choices like finding a book and reading it! Woo Hoo!
The school year comes to an end soon. Aai had a Mother's day celebration with Aditya in his class last month. Baba is about to have his Fathers' day celebration soon.
With all the craziness that comes with having two neurotypical school going kids, we are not prioritizing writing here as we used to. But the awe and celebration for our kids remains unaltered!
Rather than explain that... I will get straight to posting.
1. We had the third Son Rise intensive for Aditya in early April. Yup! We thought long and hard about the need to do this. In the end, it turned out to be just the most perfect thing we could do to help Aditya with his social and peer-relationship skills. In one word, the Son Rise program is... miraculous. Because in one word, the Son Rise program teachers and facilitators are, phenomenal. They went out of their way to make things happen for Aditya that are probably rare for an intensive... such as outdoor play, a playdate with a child, a playdate with two peers and a walk around the property to help Aditya "unwind" ! Wow! I don't know what else a parent can ask for. The folks over at Son Rise really know what they are doing.
While Aditya was having a blast playing and at the same time, climbing new mountains of social skills, Aai and Baba received lots of effective questions and guidance on how best to move forward from here. When we returned, we knew exactly what we needed to do.
2. And then did we do it? Well, that's a whole different story. We sure have started doing some things differently than before, but we still have a number of recommendations from our intensive to put in practice. Of the things we are doing differently, we are now inviting Aditya to "do" rather than "plan" and "think". This is something we are trying to do in all situations, play or otherwise. The things we know we need to do but haven't done, includes helping Aditya get comfortable using his whole body in play, by enrolling him in an activity like rock climbing. One thing we did try is a local boy scouts club. Well, this club seemed a little too chaotic to us during our visit, and so far we haven't searched for another club.
3. Diet. Oh.. the diet. It is amazing that we gained a lot more mileage in our program in the first 2 years when we were eating a number of things (e.g. wheat) we no longer eat. Recognizing how our constant attention to making special foods is hindering both, our play time with Aditya as well as his ease in social situations, we are deciding to relax our diet just a little bit. We are still not totally completely going back on it though.
4. He needs lots more play dates with kids who are socially inviting, as well as physically active rather than cerebral. This is still a To-Do for us! The good news is Aditya demonstrated he can not just handle, but even thrive in the company of kids. He played with two girls at the intensive. He not only got along nicely with them... but they even wrote letters to each other after coming back! Now all he needs is... practice, practice, practice... playing with different kids.
5. Aditya's program currently has one volunteer... Arjun. At the moment we are not planning to add any other volunteers. When Arjun leaves in a month (as he will go to college on east coast) it will be back to just Aai and Baba playing with Aditya... the way we did before we even got our Son Rise program training.
6. In the meantime, Aditya continues to do well at school. He did great with his animal research, and country research projects. He went up the stage like every year, and sang and played "Country Roads" this time. He has made half a dozen friends on his own! There is only one area now where we feel concerned about him. It is his desire for appropriateness from everyone around him is inappropriately high :) He ends up coming across as crabby... someone who is constantly calling out others' inappropriate behaviors. Other than this, he is doing sensationally well. He no longer seems stuck during unstructured time. He is making choices like finding a book and reading it! Woo Hoo!
The school year comes to an end soon. Aai had a Mother's day celebration with Aditya in his class last month. Baba is about to have his Fathers' day celebration soon.
With all the craziness that comes with having two neurotypical school going kids, we are not prioritizing writing here as we used to. But the awe and celebration for our kids remains unaltered!
Friday, January 17, 2014
My boy.. Oh, Boy!
Aditya is hooked on playing with and twisting words... BIG time!
Just yesterday he asked me, "Aai! What is a young sea creature called?"
Hmmm ...
"What?"
"I don't know!"
"Well, it is a ceiling! As in sea-ling! Get it?"
Got it! And he swears it is not borrowed :)
(Even if it were, I wouldn't be any less happy .. this just shows that he is comprehending all the Geronimo Stiltons he has been reading! Yay!)
Another one:
"What do people on Mars do with Oranges?"
"What?"
"Marsmalade!"
Isn't that awesome? He is becoming a natural at this!!
A couple days ago, I was in the garage when he came wincing, with his finger wrapped and crying out as if he was in pain. I dropped whatever I was doing and began rushing toward him. With a smile on his face, he said,"Just kidding, Aai! This is just a crumpled up receipt I found in the house :) Did you think I was really hurt?" Huh!
A couple hours later, I was still working in the garage when he told me that he was hungry. I asked him to give me a few minutes to find a stopping place. Soon after, he came in from the backyard and told me that he had found something "Green" to eat in! I looked up, a little annoyed, to see him holding a (almost) flat ball and pretending to eat from the Green (colored) bowl! "I am just pretending!" LOL!!!
Oh, and green reminds me of something else .. At school, he is a regular at the monthly student leadership meetings and this month, his idea for keeping the school clean and green got approved! He suggested that kids pick trash every Friday afternoon before school lets out so the campus looks good - weekend all the way into the next week!
And last but not the least .. a preview to the next post .. he has a great poster that I sneaked a peek into, for his upcoming country research project, due next Friday! I so wish he would ask us for some help, like the other kids do, so we have an idea of what goes on at school. But he told me that he is big now and does not really need my help :( Deep breath and let go!!!!!!!!!!
Just yesterday he asked me, "Aai! What is a young sea creature called?"
Hmmm ...
"What?"
"I don't know!"
"Well, it is a ceiling! As in sea-ling! Get it?"
Got it! And he swears it is not borrowed :)
(Even if it were, I wouldn't be any less happy .. this just shows that he is comprehending all the Geronimo Stiltons he has been reading! Yay!)
Another one:
"What do people on Mars do with Oranges?"
"What?"
"Marsmalade!"
Isn't that awesome? He is becoming a natural at this!!
A couple days ago, I was in the garage when he came wincing, with his finger wrapped and crying out as if he was in pain. I dropped whatever I was doing and began rushing toward him. With a smile on his face, he said,"Just kidding, Aai! This is just a crumpled up receipt I found in the house :) Did you think I was really hurt?" Huh!
A couple hours later, I was still working in the garage when he told me that he was hungry. I asked him to give me a few minutes to find a stopping place. Soon after, he came in from the backyard and told me that he had found something "Green" to eat in! I looked up, a little annoyed, to see him holding a (almost) flat ball and pretending to eat from the Green (colored) bowl! "I am just pretending!" LOL!!!
Oh, and green reminds me of something else .. At school, he is a regular at the monthly student leadership meetings and this month, his idea for keeping the school clean and green got approved! He suggested that kids pick trash every Friday afternoon before school lets out so the campus looks good - weekend all the way into the next week!
And last but not the least .. a preview to the next post .. he has a great poster that I sneaked a peek into, for his upcoming country research project, due next Friday! I so wish he would ask us for some help, like the other kids do, so we have an idea of what goes on at school. But he told me that he is big now and does not really need my help :( Deep breath and let go!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, January 9, 2014
Happy New Year!
The twins turned 9 this month!
Just today, we were looking at the very first few blog posts here and it felt so cute... especially this one
Aditya (and indeed Shreya, as well as Aai Baba) have come such a long distance. This has been THE most beautiful 4.5 years of my life personally!
Earlier, over the long Christmas break we mostly stayed home, but took two days off to visit our favorite and sunny climes of South California (San Luis Obispo, Santa Barbara).
Our old time program volunteer Adin visited us and he, like us, was pleasantly surprised to hear some typical 9 year old language, e.g. saying "what the...." (without anything after the "what the" :))
In eczema news, we are making another concerted effort at not just rotating but further cleaning up Aditya's already clean diet. Stay tuned to know how that is going.
Aditya is now having regular playdates with A. They both seem to enjoy each other, in fact, A's mom often emails me saying A is asking for another playdate with Aditya!!! They also play a variety of games at these times, like NERF guns, SORRY!, LEGOS, marbles, Mousetrap, Chess (A's favorite), BeyBlades and a lot of outdoor games.
Baba spent 1.5 hours with Aditya after a long long time. We played chess! Aditya clearly has the potential to learn and master anything and chess is no exception. In this almost first game, though, Aditya seemed stuck, displaying signs of nervousness about "will you check mate me?" when there was no check mate in sight! He also seemed to jump over pieces with his queen, move diagonally with a pawn, etc when he got anxious this way. Baba felt this was a sign of not knowing what move to make next... or more accurately, not trusting the moves that came to him. When asked if he was anxious about losing the game or not knowing the next move, he said he was not worried about losing... but just was finding it hard to come up with good moves.
We are excited to find out what the new year holds for all of us! Here is wishing everyone a HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Just today, we were looking at the very first few blog posts here and it felt so cute... especially this one
Aditya (and indeed Shreya, as well as Aai Baba) have come such a long distance. This has been THE most beautiful 4.5 years of my life personally!
Earlier, over the long Christmas break we mostly stayed home, but took two days off to visit our favorite and sunny climes of South California (San Luis Obispo, Santa Barbara).
Our old time program volunteer Adin visited us and he, like us, was pleasantly surprised to hear some typical 9 year old language, e.g. saying "what the...." (without anything after the "what the" :))
In eczema news, we are making another concerted effort at not just rotating but further cleaning up Aditya's already clean diet. Stay tuned to know how that is going.
Aditya is now having regular playdates with A. They both seem to enjoy each other, in fact, A's mom often emails me saying A is asking for another playdate with Aditya!!! They also play a variety of games at these times, like NERF guns, SORRY!, LEGOS, marbles, Mousetrap, Chess (A's favorite), BeyBlades and a lot of outdoor games.
Baba spent 1.5 hours with Aditya after a long long time. We played chess! Aditya clearly has the potential to learn and master anything and chess is no exception. In this almost first game, though, Aditya seemed stuck, displaying signs of nervousness about "will you check mate me?" when there was no check mate in sight! He also seemed to jump over pieces with his queen, move diagonally with a pawn, etc when he got anxious this way. Baba felt this was a sign of not knowing what move to make next... or more accurately, not trusting the moves that came to him. When asked if he was anxious about losing the game or not knowing the next move, he said he was not worried about losing... but just was finding it hard to come up with good moves.
We are excited to find out what the new year holds for all of us! Here is wishing everyone a HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Monday, December 23, 2013
Almost two months later!
We continue to focus on healing Aditya's "dry skin followed by itch followed by scratching" also commonly known as eczema. Oh, you didn't know? We have actually been trying to help him with this for over a year now.
In fact, healing eczema has now taken the center stage, and autism recovery continues to happen at an amazing pace without we even doing anything directly for that reason!
Agreed, we still have our only amazing volunteer Arjun play with Aditya twice a week in and out of the playroom. However Baba has not played for a while. Aai is doing the program the "life style program" way. This also means Aai-Baba-Aditya dual sessions have stopped.
On the other hand, Aditya went on his first 1:1 playdate at someone else's house! This seemed like an impossibility until last year. He also used to check out very early last year, suggesting his social stamina was relatively low.
In his last play date with "A", however, he (per A's mom) had a blast. He carried his own snack to the play date and had no hesitation eating it while A sipped tea. When he heard A was going to drink tea, he also expressed concern to A's mom that kids should not be drinking tea as it has caffeine. He must have been relieved to know it was a non-caffeinated tea!
Speaking of snacks, socialization and food are closely associated in pretty much every culture. He got an invite to another friend E's birthday party. E's mom, knowing Aditya's special diet, told him about the things he could eat. (We need to speak to the parents and request them not do this, as the stuff did have something we would rather Aditya did not eat.) Aditya's facial expression at this time was pricessless. He also seemed to open up like a social butterfly for a while right after this!
Healing eczema naturally (i.e. without conventional anti-histamines or cortisone creams) means sticking to a specific eating plan that most definitely excludes processed foods, but also has a constant need for rotation. Who thinks about this at a birthday party? We do. And I have to say, I think Aditya does too, thereby not being fully "available" to his friends in the making.
So when he got to eat SOMETHING at the party that was offered to him by the host (vs his own special box of snacks) he probably felt on top of the world.
We are at a strange place where we have never been. His dietary restrictions are no longer designed with autism recovery in mind. We actually think it will have a positive effect on his socialization if we removed the restrictions. However, dietary modifications is the safest way to treat eczema. (Other than option-provess-dialoguing to help Aditya get in touch with his beliefs. If he is like Baba, his eczema has nothing to do with the stimulus (the food) and everything to do with what he believes about himself and his present and his future.
The third friend we must talk about is S, also from his class like E and A. S loves teaching gymnastics and is super-patient and enthusiastic with her satudents. (I wish all my teachers were like this 7 year old.) Her student is none other than Aditya, who is equally patient and responsive. The two have been practicing various things gymnastics during recess. Aditya seems to be really enjoying this, class and like we said, S is one patient and enthusiastic teacher:)
Another very important update is about the Dad-And-Son group Y guides that Aditya and Baba joined in October. We have so far gone overnight beach-camping, bowling, and finally, a special all-family ice-skating event along with Shreya and Aai. The camping was fun, and Aditya seemed to really start connecting with the other sons during bowling. But it was ice-skating that had me completely "bowled over". Aditya not only showed enthusiasm to learn ice skating, he did extremely well, and IN THE END chose to finish multiple rounds of the skating rink on his own, without supervision from parents! Shreya did too, but the two kids were doing it all separately, and sometimes each with one of their own personal friends!
That last bit about we not supervising him requires another mention. It was our own recovery in one way. It was a "let go" experience. Especially when we watched him fall on his bottom, then look for help, and then get back up on his own!
Aditya has also finished one more round of basketball lessons, and earned his coaches' appreciation for being one of the most sincere students!
Last but not the least, Aditya also took a 3 day badminton camp over the thanksgiving break!
We recognize that we did not write a special thanksgiving post this year. But then we have never stopped feeling thankful to our kids!
In fact, healing eczema has now taken the center stage, and autism recovery continues to happen at an amazing pace without we even doing anything directly for that reason!
Agreed, we still have our only amazing volunteer Arjun play with Aditya twice a week in and out of the playroom. However Baba has not played for a while. Aai is doing the program the "life style program" way. This also means Aai-Baba-Aditya dual sessions have stopped.
On the other hand, Aditya went on his first 1:1 playdate at someone else's house! This seemed like an impossibility until last year. He also used to check out very early last year, suggesting his social stamina was relatively low.
In his last play date with "A", however, he (per A's mom) had a blast. He carried his own snack to the play date and had no hesitation eating it while A sipped tea. When he heard A was going to drink tea, he also expressed concern to A's mom that kids should not be drinking tea as it has caffeine. He must have been relieved to know it was a non-caffeinated tea!
Speaking of snacks, socialization and food are closely associated in pretty much every culture. He got an invite to another friend E's birthday party. E's mom, knowing Aditya's special diet, told him about the things he could eat. (We need to speak to the parents and request them not do this, as the stuff did have something we would rather Aditya did not eat.) Aditya's facial expression at this time was pricessless. He also seemed to open up like a social butterfly for a while right after this!
Healing eczema naturally (i.e. without conventional anti-histamines or cortisone creams) means sticking to a specific eating plan that most definitely excludes processed foods, but also has a constant need for rotation. Who thinks about this at a birthday party? We do. And I have to say, I think Aditya does too, thereby not being fully "available" to his friends in the making.
So when he got to eat SOMETHING at the party that was offered to him by the host (vs his own special box of snacks) he probably felt on top of the world.
We are at a strange place where we have never been. His dietary restrictions are no longer designed with autism recovery in mind. We actually think it will have a positive effect on his socialization if we removed the restrictions. However, dietary modifications is the safest way to treat eczema. (Other than option-provess-dialoguing to help Aditya get in touch with his beliefs. If he is like Baba, his eczema has nothing to do with the stimulus (the food) and everything to do with what he believes about himself and his present and his future.
The third friend we must talk about is S, also from his class like E and A. S loves teaching gymnastics and is super-patient and enthusiastic with her satudents. (I wish all my teachers were like this 7 year old.) Her student is none other than Aditya, who is equally patient and responsive. The two have been practicing various things gymnastics during recess. Aditya seems to be really enjoying this, class and like we said, S is one patient and enthusiastic teacher:)
Another very important update is about the Dad-And-Son group Y guides that Aditya and Baba joined in October. We have so far gone overnight beach-camping, bowling, and finally, a special all-family ice-skating event along with Shreya and Aai. The camping was fun, and Aditya seemed to really start connecting with the other sons during bowling. But it was ice-skating that had me completely "bowled over". Aditya not only showed enthusiasm to learn ice skating, he did extremely well, and IN THE END chose to finish multiple rounds of the skating rink on his own, without supervision from parents! Shreya did too, but the two kids were doing it all separately, and sometimes each with one of their own personal friends!
That last bit about we not supervising him requires another mention. It was our own recovery in one way. It was a "let go" experience. Especially when we watched him fall on his bottom, then look for help, and then get back up on his own!
Aditya has also finished one more round of basketball lessons, and earned his coaches' appreciation for being one of the most sincere students!
Last but not the least, Aditya also took a 3 day badminton camp over the thanksgiving break!
We recognize that we did not write a special thanksgiving post this year. But then we have never stopped feeling thankful to our kids!
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