A super-sweet friend!

Hard to believe, but Aditya pulled off all of the following highly "social" feats over this weekend:
1. Asked me (after I woke up late on Saturday morning due to a bad cold) how I was feeling
2. Gingerly walked into my room on Sunday morning, left a piece of paper with a question "How does the cello look?" and with a smile told me it was ok for me to answer the question "later"
3. On Sunday evening, apologized for "rushing" me to increase the volume of music in the car, while expecting me to also apologize for taking the volume from 8 to 27 in my state of rush (frankly... I lost it... but what's amazing is he understood that based on my body language!)

4. As told to me by his volunteer friend today:  Aditya said the following to him as soon as they met today: "Sorry we could not do the meeting on Friday"  

(By the way, we really had to cancel that meeting on Friday for unforeseen reasons, and that Aditya took that in the stride without making a big deal about it was a huge feat in itself!)

There were some other moments where Aditya did express his frustration quite vocally that he was having a hard time always saying things he wanted to, and never the opposite.  We told him it was okay, and that he was trying so hard... that's what really mattered.  

Overall, a terrific performance from him! 

Making Stories!

This is a game we began playing almost at the same time as we introduced soccer.  Much like soccer, Aditya is now a fan of this game too.

What you need:  cards with pictures of different things.
What you do: put the pictures in a box, shuffle them, then pull 3 cards out.  Say the three cards show: duck, map, pond.  Now, make up a funny story using those words, and "tell" the story wearing a hat and holding a fake microphone!

We actually began with 2 cards, but pretty soon progressed to 3 cards.  Today, we even play this with 2 picture cards and a "feeling" card,  e.g. duck, map, excited.

Aditya loves making these stories.  He recently told the following story: "Once upon a time a DUCK was driving a motor cycle, and then she could never go to the place she wanted.  So she looked on the MAP in the "gps" and then she found where she wants to go so she became real EXCITED."

Aditya pays tribute to "Social Media"!

I was discussing "facial expressions" with Aditya.  Happy is a face he can easily make.  He wanted to know how to express a sad face.

Was he ready for this?  I did not know.  Cautiously, I said: "when I want to make up the sad face I think of something sad that happened in my life. Then I pretend it's actually happening right now.  My face then automatically shows the sad expression."

Aditya: "Something sad?"

I replied:  "Yeah, like I remember the time when my brother went to America to study in college and I was still in India." As I said those words, I saw Aditya's face become progressively more sad. 

I continued, "When that happened I knew I was not going to meet him for at least a year. So I was very sad that day."

As I completed my sentence, Aditya burst out into tears.

As he cried, he asked: "Did you even talk on Facebook?"

I did tell him that back in those days, we would gather around the telephone on Saturday night, waiting for my brother to make a call from the USA.  As I wondered how quickly our lives have changed thanks to advances in communication,  I appreciated even more my 6 year old friend  who cared enough to ask me if I had a way to reach out to my dear brother!

A smashing good Saturday!

"Just like that" was the theme for this Saturday, as we did a variety of things, like most friends do for each other: just like that!

Dad's friend Uncle Anand came to meet us for breakfast.  Aditya did exceptionally well, we thought, in engaging with Uncle Anand, talking to him, answering questions, asking questions, and what not!  We later biked and walked to a nearby park where we played soccer.  Aditya was, of course, very enthused about playing soccer, as he now considers that his favorite sport.  The cool thing was, he and Uncle Anand were in one team, and Aditya made no fuss about having him on his team.

A little later after Uncle Anand went home, Dad's cousin came to visit us with his wife and 1 year old son. Aditya did well to, both talk to the guests as well as handle the presence of a 1 year old.  A child so young would have been a major source of unpredictability a year ago.

But the icing on the cake for us was when we, as planned, went to watch  the final year portfolio performance by one of our volunteers. There we also met one of our past volunteers (who Aditya still considers his best friend).  Both of them are dance majors, and so all of us felt a sense of pride when we saw them perform on stage. Of course, I am sure they  felt very special to have two 6 year old guests among their fans! The entire show ran for about 2 hours, with a 10 minute intermission. Aditya did amazingly well as he sat through the whole show, and tried to follow the dancers' movements. Frankly, the dances were pretty abstract, and one of us was ready to leave the place with him if he could not  handle it. He had other plans.  He chose to sit through the whole show, and when asked if he was liking the dances, he said: "I am loving the dances".

We had stopped having these fun-filled, casual, "just like that" weekends a couple of years ago, in order to get our Son Rise program up and running.  But boy, the wait has been so worth it!  We have enjoyed this Saturday like no other Saturday in the last several years.

A big thank you to our twins!

Get over it now!

I have been extremely busy enjoying tremendous changes in Aditya and our relationship with him over the past few weeks. We did hit a rough patch for a couple weeks in between, but that deserves an entire new post. Today I am here to note a few "gems" before I forget.

Dad was all set to go on a hike with a friend tomorrow morning. Just a while ago, the friend called up to say that he had a busy day in office and couldn't make it to the hike as planned. On hearing this, Aditya spontaneously said to his dad, "I am sorry you cannot go for the hike tomorrow!"

Yesterday, I was talking to my daughter about something at school, when the conversation took an unexpected turn and she began arguing as to how she was right in that situation (at school). As I asked her to take a moment to think about what she had just said, Aditya turned to her and told her to "get over it!" We both were stunned and looked at him in disbelief! We have never used these words at home and don't know where he got this from!

We have seen his flexibility increasing leaps and bounds. As usual, this evening I went for a bike ride around the neighborhood with both kids. We have a couple routes we usually take. Today we decided to take the shorter route as I had a few things to catch up with after we returned. One of the places on this route is the community center where the kids pretend to play restaurant. This has been routine for two years now and they were happy to go. On the way, A's sister suddenly turned and asked me if we could go down a path we had never been on. Before I could answer, both kids were biking down the winding pathway. Suddenly realizing that it led back close to our home, they retraced their steps and were wondering where to go "exploring " next. At that, I suggested taking them on a surprise bike trip, destination undisclosed:) Aditya enthusiastically accepted and willingly followed us on a 20 minute ride. In all this excitement, the original plan of going to the community center was forgotten and I was wondering if he would bring that up. A few months ago, such spontaneity was unimaginable. As we walked into the house, I congratulated both kids on being so flexible and thanked them for the wonderful time spent together. A knowingly smiled and said that he had "decided in his brain" to complete stage 5 in 8 days:) Hence the flexibility:)  As usual, it was followed by big cheers and letting him know that we would love him, irrespective of whether he completed stage 5 in 8 or 80 or 800 days !

He has shown amazing flexibility about being outdoors (we were cocooning him most of the times for the past year and a half since the beginning of our Son-Rise program) and even at a Walmart! He loves being the "list manager" and directing me around, being flexible if I decide to make some last minute changes to the shopping list. As I had a few last minute additions to the list, it wasn't sorted by department as I usually tend to do. He was very keen on getting to the electronics department to buy replacement headphones for himself.  But one item at the end of the list was just an isle away. I asked him to make a choice: Do you want to go get the headphones first or get the Kleenex in the next isle. Going to the next isle right away would help us save time and check out faster, while going to the electronics would get him his headphones faster. After weighing in for a few seconds, he chose to get the Kleenex so he could go home faster. It is so amazing to see him make these choices! We see him now practice the stage 4 perspective we've modeled for him "at times it is useful to put off an immediate payoff for a longer-term payoff".

We have also seen his stamina improve dramatically over the past week or two. He has always been up before 7 am since he was a baby. But the mornings were pretty listless and lethargic, except when he was doing SRP with dad before work. Of late, we have seen him happy and energetic in the mornings. 

A couple days ago, I dropped my daughter off at school and proceeded to a doctor's appointment. We reached about 25 minutes before time. Till date, he has always preferred sitting in the car and listening to music to while away  the time. But the day in question, as I parked the car, I wondered aloud if he would rather go for a walk with me .. maybe just till the traffic light and back, not too far! He enthusiastically jumped out of his seat and started walking. A minute into the walk, he broke into a run and challenged me to beat him! We sprinted on the sidewalk for a full 15 minutes till I was out of breath. Amazing! The same day, he had back to back SRP sessions and played soccer with each volunteer for an hour. He was still going great at 5 pm and demanded his usual bike ride! And the day was scorching hot with the temperature in the higher 80s (Fahrenheit, of course).

Making music... and twisting tunes!

When we began our Son Rise program, we put away Dad's synthesizer keyboard, as Aditya was using it mainly to ism by playing his favorite rhythms and songs, numbered 1-100.  Oftentimes he would repeatedly play the same song, for example.

Two weeks ago, we decided that he had reached the point where we could bring the keyboard back, lay down some rules, and see if Aditya is willing to use it to "make" or "practice" music rather than just play the pre-recorded tunes.

Aditya not only agreed to the rules, he showed appreciation for this explanation: "Making or practising music helps your mind become more creative, which is good for you.  Simply listening to songs on the keyboard is like watching TV.  It does everything for you, so you don't get to do anything."

Since that day, Aditya has been religiously following the rule, and he has never ever touched the buttons that play the pre-set tunes.

And what does he play on the keyboard?
1) Ring ring ring ring banana phone!!! Once Daddy taught him to play the two lines of the song, he began practising them every day, and he still does.  He recently surprised his grandparents in India by playing the two lines for them!
2) The first few words of Dil Chahta Hai:-)  which is one of his favorite Hindi songs.

There is something special for Dad, about what he next did with Banana phone and Dil Chahta Hai.  He has listened to Daddy "twisting the tunes" (which means sing one song on the tune of another), and he always enjoyed that.  But last week, for the first time, we found him singing Bananaphone on the tune of Dil Chahta Hai.  What more could Daddy ask for?