YES power!

WANT everything, NEED nothing!
Happy is easy, unhappy is hard.
I never fail, I just gather new information.
 

Armed with these new beliefs that I acquired on a beautiful mountain on the border of Massachusetts and Connecticut,  I set out today to visit our local places of worship in the search of volunteers for our Son Rise program.  I visited three of them, and I presented a solid reason for people to do this in each and every case.

All of them gladly accepted our Son Rise program flyer.  Two of them said they would speak to their managers about me coming at a time I could personally speak to interested people.

For two and a half years, I was holding the following beliefs:
1. I am not a Christian, why would a church entertain my request?
2. In order to ask for help I need to first volunteer for the place
3. If I show up at the time of a prayer nobody will stop and listen to me

In essence, I limited what I could do.
I took care of myself by protecting myself from a likely failure.

I also prevented myself from finding amazing volunteers for our program.

This afternoon too, I felt nervous as I approached the local church.

I then accepted me for being nervous.

I then remembered all of my fellow Maximum Impact participants from last week.  I remembered Ben and Brian. I remembered Artur and Emily.  I remembered Nancy and Rachel and Emma and Brandi.  And then I remembered the whole galaxy of amazing people who I had the opportunity to meet in that magical week!  I felt a rush of positive energy as well as a sense of peace in me as I imagined everyone in my class rooting for Aditya and me and our program.  Once I had imagined everyone was supporting me, I WANTED to go and talk.  I then could not believe that only minutes ago, I was imagining things won't go well as no one is interested in this... which is just a different way of saying... everyone is against this.

Our Son Rise program is about surrounding Aditya with people who love and celebrate him and root for him no matter what.

Turns out that we grown ups could be a huge help to each other if we simply surrounded each other by saying YES to our own dreams as well to each other's dreams!

Here is the fun part.  We may or may not find such amazing YES-saying people at every corner.  We however are absolutely in control when it comes to BELIEVING we are surrounded by such folks wherever we go.  Because we could also imagine ourselves to be surrounded by people who say NO to our dreams and then we would feel shattered.  In either case, it is a case of MAKE BELIEVE!

SUPERMAN and BATMAN!

Our first ever Son Rise play session after my Maximum Impact training program.

Inspired by Kate and Kim's video blogs, I went in with mask-size pictures of a few action heroes.  I placed them next to my face one after the other, and Aditya guessed most (YES, he does not always guess things like those).

We then decided to cut the masks with scissors and attach them to our face with strings.

He chose to cut the Superman mask, and then offered to put it on using strings!  I immediately realized that Superman would not be Superman if he were to wear his underpants under his pants!

Aditya was super-flexible and responsive about this silly idea!  Off we went and got his underwear and under-shirt, and had him put those on top of his pants and his shirt respectively.  We then took some pictures, and he responded with great enthusiasm when I asked him to hold the "globe" and yell "I will save the earth".  He then offered to "pout"  (pictured) without me even asking for it.

I then put on the Batman mask myself, and together we decided to do something fun like save the earth from all earthquakes-- present and future!

He spontaneously told me that Superman would ride Batman!

We decided to enact a scene where we were in Napoli, Italy in our hotel room when Mr Vladimir calls us from Russia to inform us of an earthquake and to ask for help!

Through out, Aditya was very spontaneous and flexible with his ideas as well as mine!

We then went to Russia and landed in an imaginary city called Kasevo (which he picked) where, with his special  gun, Superman stopped the earthquake in a second.  I acted out a man shaking and dancing and stopping as soon as he pointed his gun at the earth.

Batman, too, rose to the occasion and saved some falling babies by intercepting them with his cricket bat.

In the end,  Vladimir and Katrina sang paeans for the two brave heroes, and made them the King and the General respectively.

The session ended with a party thrown by the Russians in the honor of their new king, Superman and their new army general, Batman!

During the party, Superman asked for his favorite musical instruments to be played, which.. make no mistake... included 4 kinds of guitar.

Then he himself got very excited and played electric guitar rolling on the floor like Jimmy Hendrix!

In the finale, the Russians as well as the two heroes sang and played R D Burman's medley from Hum Kisi Se Kam Nahin (starting with the Bass guitar and including the Sax and the bongos)!

Surprise!

Every time either of us has been to Option for week long classes, we got something for the kids from the small shop on campus. This time around, we decided to get the kids something they really wanted .. before Dad left.

On our way to pick up sister from school on Thursday, I casually asked Aditya what he thought of going to Target after getting her. I least expected him to be okay with it, as he had had a long day. But he was actually excited about getting her a present. I said to him,"I would like to get her something she has really wanted for some time now."
"That should be legos!"
"Wow! You are a mind reader! How about we surprise her?"
"Sure! I promise to keep it a surprise."
As we started out, she was wondering why I was taking a different road home. As I told her that I wanted to go some place before going home, she began guessing where I might be headed.
"Library?"
Giggles and a head shake from brother.
"Gymnastics for a make up class? "
Giggles again.
"I hope we are not going grocery shopping!"
"Not today", said Aditya.
As I pulled into the parking lot at Target, she was really curious as to why we were there. I then told her about our decision to get the kids a gift. She was overjoyed and curious as to what it would be. As we walked into the kids section, she finally lost it and said, "Please! Clothes is not a gift I want."
Aditya: "Keep walking straight and turn right towards the toys"
After a nod from me, he finally blurted, "You are getting LEGOS!"
It was amazing to see how far he has come. This boy hated surprises and could barely understand what a  secret meant, not long ago.
As for his gift, Dad ordered something online for him. It was expected to be delivered on Friday but the shipment never arrived. He was totally fine and hoped to get it Saturday morning. When it hadn't arrived by mid day, he finally broke down into tears. On calling UPS, we realized that it would not be delivered till Monday. He was pretty upset on hearing this and got anxious about their intentions. But he was super excited when we told him what he was getting ..his surprise was ... a half size guitar of his own!
We had been seeing him try and tune his toy Ukulele, which we got when he was 3. He actually tuned it and taught me how to play "Do Re Me Fa .. " and also managed a verse or two from a couple other songs. We were stunned .. if he could fix that piece of junk and play a song on it, he certainly deserved a better instrument!

Can we take away a "take-away" menu?

That was the question that Aditya found an answer to, at Capitola where we were yesterday as we said in the last post.

We were at this coffee shop where Aditya, after a chat in confidence with Aai, decided to use the potty.  After doing that, Baba got some coffee for himself and we walked out.

"Do they have a take away menu on the Internet?" asked Aditya.

(He has developed a new interest in making menus of imaginary restaurants which he owns. He, for example, has a 450+ item menu of an imaginary Great Hot Pizza restaurant which sells everything from wheat flour Pizzas to coconut meal pizzas to thai curries to the south Indian idlis!  One of the side effects of this is he is beginning to look at the menus of real life restaurants.  I once told him about it being available on the Internet for most restaurants, and that most of them also have a copy at the restaurant itself.)

"Yes, and they probably also have it right here.  You can ask them for one if you like", I said.

A: "You ask them".

Me: "I won't."

A: "Why?"

Me: "Because I don't need that.  If you need that, you can ask the lady".

A: "You don't have an option.  You have to ask her."

Me: "I will not because I do not want it.  I want you to try asking for it if you want it".

A: "I am scared that she will say NO"

Me: "And why do you think so?"

A: "I don't know". He had teared up by now.

I then went up to the only person who was at the restaurant and said, "If my son asks you for a take away menu will you say NO to him?"

"He never spoke to me", the woman went on a defensive.

"I know he did not, but maybe he wants to.  Will you say No if he asks you for a take away menu?"  I clarified and asked one more time.

"No", she said with a smile.

"Can I have a take away menu?" now Aditya asked. Apparently the woman had earned his trust.

"Yes," said she and handed a 1 page take away menu to him.

The look on Aditya's face was priceless.  How I felt was priceless too.  (The coffee, by the way, was paid for using master-card.  Just saying :-)

We will continue working on modeling to him through our own actions that "we can ask for something when we want, and be okay if  we do not receive it".

He did something purposeless!

We took the day off and decided to go to Santa Cruz, California which is a 40 minute drive from our place.

It turns out that a miracle was going to happen there.  

Miracles like these can fetch a "what's the big deal" reaction from someone who has not parented a child with autism.   But they are miracles none-the-less and become the precious memories that a parent like me will always cherish.  They also become the fuel which runs our Son Rise program!

We were walking in Capitola downtown when... Aditya suddenly said to us, "Check this out".  He was standing on one leg, his other leg folded at a right angle. That did not last for even a second... but it was the first time Aditya did something as purposeless as that and showed it off to us!  Woo-Hoo!

He was super-flexible for the most part today, freely allowing us to change plans. In one case where Aditya and I (Baba) were standing in the ocean water... one of his absolute favorite activities... I said to him that I had found this cool sea-shell and I wondered if he could take a 1 minute break to give it to his sister who had been looking for them at the beach.  He not only accepted it, but in fact went to sister and offered it personally saying "look we found a shell for you"!

He also had his challenges today.  At the top of them was him constantly asking when we are heading back home because he wanted to go potty and did not want to... until Aai spoke to him in confidence and he decided to give it a try with Baba at a coffee shop.  It was easy once he agreed to go.  He even asked me (Baba) to rub his back as a way to help him "go"!

Right before this, I (Baba) told him (in response to "when are we going home?") that I was really interested in enjoying what I was already doing.  I was okay not to have decided what next.  I was doing this so I could enjoy "now".   He cried at this point and said he did not know what to do "now".  He then asked me for suggestions.  We were sitting on top of a small bridge at this time, looking over the beach.  I looked at the beach and found a small boy with a cart that looked like a miniature shopping cart.  I told A about it and even wondered aloud if it had a motor.  Our boy was immediately interested and got up to see!  A little later we also found a mother and a boy flying a kite, which also fascinated him.  I celebrated him soon after for being there with me as we figured out something to do... such as checking out what people were doing at the beach!  (versus continuously thinking about the next thing to do or place to go)

Of course, it was right then that Aai spotted that the real issue was he feeling like going potty... except he did not want to go!

After going potty he seemed a lot more relaxed.

He then asked Baba if there was a take away menu of this restaurant on the internet.  What happened next? Stay tuned for more in the next post!

His thoughts on... how soon can we learn to be happy?

Great news!  Baba will be attending Maximum Impact at Option Institute in the next couple of weeks.

Aditya was speaking to him at the table just now, when he asked, "Do you want to become happy?"

"Yes, I want to learn how to be happy. I also want to learn how not to get angry easily," replied Baba.

 Aditya contemplated for a second, then said, "I think you can learn that in a week."