This morning, Baba made a deal with Aditya.
"If you help me by peeling off these boiled eggs which I will then take with me to eat for breakfast, then I will return by 5:30pm and play with you."
Aditya happily fulfilled his side of the deal. Pointing to the imperfect (i.e. not round and polished) look of the peeled boiled eggs, he said, "these look funky, but is that okay?"
I said "they look amazing".
Sister does these jobs easily and without fanfare. But what I clearly know is doing something right now and then waiting to get something in exchange for even minutes was a huge challenge for Aditya.
Today, when he made this deal he got nothing in return "right now". He agreed to wait for 10 hours for the result!
Is the other party (me) committed to delivering? Totally. I look forward to an exciting day at work followed by a scenic and slow drive (i.e. there is usually traffic congestion) followed by 30 minutes of play time with Aditya!
Currently though I am enjoying my eggs with coffee. The eggs are extra delicious!
Monday, May 20, 2013
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
He asked me-- "Do you need to be left alone?"
One day, I looked not particularly thrilled as he asked me 3 questions while my wife also said something to me from another room.
I began to speak louder and faster, the kind of voice that suggests "annoyed" to neuro-typical folks.
The cool thing... Aditya suspected that too.
"Do you need my-time? I heard you yell." He asked me, point blank!
By the way, "my time" is an expression we use in our house to describe "time away from everything to decompress".
I replied to him that I did not need "my time", but that I needed to go and answer my wife, and then I could come back to take more questions:-)
What a lesson in using words rather than anger as a communication device!
I began to speak louder and faster, the kind of voice that suggests "annoyed" to neuro-typical folks.
The cool thing... Aditya suspected that too.
"Do you need my-time? I heard you yell." He asked me, point blank!
By the way, "my time" is an expression we use in our house to describe "time away from everything to decompress".
I replied to him that I did not need "my time", but that I needed to go and answer my wife, and then I could come back to take more questions:-)
What a lesson in using words rather than anger as a communication device!
Friday, May 3, 2013
Aditya went to India!
Our family just returned from a 3 week long vacation in India.
The last time we visited was before beginning our Son Rise program in 2009. About 4 years later (6 in case of Baba) we really wanted to take a break and go back to our roots, and enjoy the warmth (literally)!
Of course, Aditya looked so much more ready to handle this exciting and adventurous experience! Along with Shreya, he expressed a strong desire to go!
What did we do in these 3 weeks?
1. Baba took the kids to the place where he spent most of his life before coming to America. Even if no one from our family lives there now, two different neighbors invited us into their house, and showed much excitement about meeting us, plus a curiosity about where we are now and what we do!
2. The kids went on scooter rides with various family members including Aai, Baba, Grandpa, Uncle, Aunt, etc to get milk, newspaper, vegetables etc. The "scooter" is not the kids' scooter but a commonly used 2 wheeler that runs on gas (petrol).
3. Crossed the street holding hands and waving to the oncoming car or bike indicating we were about to cross! Aditya expressed concern around this, and we don't blame him! By the way, he learned to wave to the car!
4. Ate tons of mangoes, and Aditya even plucked some at his grandfather's mango orchard! He used words to get help from the workers!
5. The twins played extensively with their cousin sisters- 6 and 2 year old. The 2 year old expressed her love toward Aditya by grabbing his hair and tickling him. Upset in the beginning over this, Aditya called her mean. In the end though they learned to play with each other simple games like sticking their faces together!
6. Played with kids "downstairs" in our condo community. When Aai and Baba were growing up in India, we never needed play dates. We could go "downstairs" and there would be someone to play! The twins learned first hand what that was like! The kids who allowed Aditya to play cricket with them were especially sweet towards him, allowing him a second chance if he got run out by mistake for example!
7. Played at the local park, using Marathi words to tell another kid not to push him. (The kid said THANK YOU back to him!)
8. Went shopping in crowded places and in hot conditions. You are probably wondering why we are saying this so proudly. Well, we just did everything the way we normally do in India, and Aditya went along with it!
9. Aditya tried his hands at learning Hindi, while sister practically spoke in Marathi all the time!
10. Listened to Hindi songs LIVE on radio.
11. Learned how to pay the fine and get your car back if it got towed for being parked in a "No Parking" zone!
12. Watched IPL cricket games on TV in real time!
13. Shreya played with another 4 year old neighbor! Aditya instead played with grandpa! But in the end even Aditya played with the 4 year old!
14. Aditya asked for permission to play "Wii" when we visited another family that also had an 8 year old who invited him to play "Wii". He had a priceless look when we agreed.
15. Played with the neighbor's cat and fed him!
16. Met with Aai-Baba's old friends and played with their kids.
17. Sang and played Hindi tunes on the guitar much to the delight of his grandparents. (Sometimes he used the guitar to center himself in the middle of chaos!)
18. Aditya Watched "Cars-2" and "Up" in flight. (Our first time letting him watch a movie we had not watched.)
19. Aditya re-learned to use the squatting potty.
Both kids thoroughly enjoyed the vacation, and expressed a strong interest in returning to live in India!
The last time we visited was before beginning our Son Rise program in 2009. About 4 years later (6 in case of Baba) we really wanted to take a break and go back to our roots, and enjoy the warmth (literally)!
Of course, Aditya looked so much more ready to handle this exciting and adventurous experience! Along with Shreya, he expressed a strong desire to go!
What did we do in these 3 weeks?
1. Baba took the kids to the place where he spent most of his life before coming to America. Even if no one from our family lives there now, two different neighbors invited us into their house, and showed much excitement about meeting us, plus a curiosity about where we are now and what we do!
2. The kids went on scooter rides with various family members including Aai, Baba, Grandpa, Uncle, Aunt, etc to get milk, newspaper, vegetables etc. The "scooter" is not the kids' scooter but a commonly used 2 wheeler that runs on gas (petrol).
3. Crossed the street holding hands and waving to the oncoming car or bike indicating we were about to cross! Aditya expressed concern around this, and we don't blame him! By the way, he learned to wave to the car!
4. Ate tons of mangoes, and Aditya even plucked some at his grandfather's mango orchard! He used words to get help from the workers!
5. The twins played extensively with their cousin sisters- 6 and 2 year old. The 2 year old expressed her love toward Aditya by grabbing his hair and tickling him. Upset in the beginning over this, Aditya called her mean. In the end though they learned to play with each other simple games like sticking their faces together!
6. Played with kids "downstairs" in our condo community. When Aai and Baba were growing up in India, we never needed play dates. We could go "downstairs" and there would be someone to play! The twins learned first hand what that was like! The kids who allowed Aditya to play cricket with them were especially sweet towards him, allowing him a second chance if he got run out by mistake for example!
7. Played at the local park, using Marathi words to tell another kid not to push him. (The kid said THANK YOU back to him!)
8. Went shopping in crowded places and in hot conditions. You are probably wondering why we are saying this so proudly. Well, we just did everything the way we normally do in India, and Aditya went along with it!
9. Aditya tried his hands at learning Hindi, while sister practically spoke in Marathi all the time!
10. Listened to Hindi songs LIVE on radio.
11. Learned how to pay the fine and get your car back if it got towed for being parked in a "No Parking" zone!
12. Watched IPL cricket games on TV in real time!
13. Shreya played with another 4 year old neighbor! Aditya instead played with grandpa! But in the end even Aditya played with the 4 year old!
14. Aditya asked for permission to play "Wii" when we visited another family that also had an 8 year old who invited him to play "Wii". He had a priceless look when we agreed.
15. Played with the neighbor's cat and fed him!
16. Met with Aai-Baba's old friends and played with their kids.
17. Sang and played Hindi tunes on the guitar much to the delight of his grandparents. (Sometimes he used the guitar to center himself in the middle of chaos!)
18. Aditya Watched "Cars-2" and "Up" in flight. (Our first time letting him watch a movie we had not watched.)
19. Aditya re-learned to use the squatting potty.
Both kids thoroughly enjoyed the vacation, and expressed a strong interest in returning to live in India!
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