We continue to focus on healing Aditya's "dry skin followed by itch followed by scratching" also commonly known as eczema. Oh, you didn't know? We have actually been trying to help him with this for over a year now.
In fact, healing eczema has now taken the center stage, and autism recovery continues to happen at an amazing pace without we even doing anything directly for that reason!
Agreed, we still have our only amazing volunteer Arjun play with Aditya twice a week in and out of the playroom. However Baba has not played for a while. Aai is doing the program the "life style program" way. This also means Aai-Baba-Aditya dual sessions have stopped.
On the other hand, Aditya went on his first 1:1 playdate at someone else's house! This seemed like an impossibility until last year. He also used to check out very early last year, suggesting his social stamina was relatively low.
In his last play date with "A", however, he (per A's mom) had a blast. He carried his own snack to the play date and had no hesitation eating it while A sipped tea. When he heard A was going to drink tea, he also expressed concern to A's mom that kids should not be drinking tea as it has caffeine. He must have been relieved to know it was a non-caffeinated tea!
Speaking of snacks, socialization and food are closely associated in pretty much every culture. He got an invite to another friend E's birthday party. E's mom, knowing Aditya's special diet, told him about the things he could eat. (We need to speak to the parents and request them not do this, as the stuff did have something we would rather Aditya did not eat.) Aditya's facial expression at this time was pricessless. He also seemed to open up like a social butterfly for a while right after this!
Healing eczema naturally (i.e. without conventional anti-histamines or cortisone creams) means sticking to a specific eating plan that most definitely excludes processed foods, but also has a constant need for rotation. Who thinks about this at a birthday party? We do. And I have to say, I think Aditya does too, thereby not being fully "available" to his friends in the making.
So when he got to eat SOMETHING at the party that was offered to him by the host (vs his own special box of snacks) he probably felt on top of the world.
We are at a strange place where we have never been. His dietary restrictions are no longer designed with autism recovery in mind. We actually think it will have a positive effect on his socialization if we removed the restrictions. However, dietary modifications is the safest way to treat eczema. (Other than option-provess-dialoguing to help Aditya get in touch with his beliefs. If he is like Baba, his eczema has nothing to do with the stimulus (the food) and everything to do with what he believes about himself and his present and his future.
The third friend we must talk about is S, also from his class like E and A. S loves teaching gymnastics and is super-patient and enthusiastic with her satudents. (I wish all my teachers were like this 7 year old.) Her student is none other than Aditya, who is equally patient and responsive. The two have been practicing various things gymnastics during recess. Aditya seems to be really enjoying this, class and like we said, S is one patient and enthusiastic teacher:)
Another very important update is about the Dad-And-Son group Y guides that Aditya and Baba joined in October. We have so far gone overnight beach-camping, bowling, and finally, a special all-family ice-skating event along with Shreya and Aai. The camping was fun, and Aditya seemed to really start connecting with the other sons during bowling. But it was ice-skating that had me completely "bowled over". Aditya not only showed enthusiasm to learn ice skating, he did extremely well, and IN THE END chose to finish multiple rounds of the skating rink on his own, without supervision from parents! Shreya did too, but the two kids were doing it all separately, and sometimes each with one of their own personal friends!
That last bit about we not supervising him requires another mention. It was our own recovery in one way. It was a "let go" experience. Especially when we watched him fall on his bottom, then look for help, and then get back up on his own!
Aditya has also finished one more round of basketball lessons, and earned his coaches' appreciation for being one of the most sincere students!
Last but not the least, Aditya also took a 3 day badminton camp over the thanksgiving break!
We recognize that we did not write a special thanksgiving post this year. But then we have never stopped feeling thankful to our kids!
Monday, December 23, 2013
Friday, November 1, 2013
Halloween 2013!
Aditya "chose" to make up his own costume for Halloween this year. (In the previous two years he was a police officer and a fireman, and both were costumes bought from the store.) He dressed up to be a chef.... complete with an apron, a spatula, and a tall paper hat he created with some help from Aai!
He went out trick-or-treating with Shreya and one of Shreya's friends. He enjoyed it, of course, but the truth is, with 3 kids this soon became a situation with "rules" about who should take the lead in knocking on the door. I saw a much less spontaneous and bubbly Aditya as compared to last year. Lesson learnt!
The beautiful part is, Aditya articulated to me that he was getting bored. Wow! Expressing the emotional side when he feels like it (and not when it is appropriate to do so)!
Last year, Aditya and Shreya had collected about 50 pieces of candy. This year, they scored in the 80's! With a growth rate of 60% all you folks must want to invest your money in this young enterprise!
Since he does not eat the candy, he asked to exchange it with "cents". We offered to round up his 81 cents to a whole dollar. He was flexible with this idea and said "okay":-)
Okay, we are letting out one more secret. He and Shreya both got to eat a piece of 85% organic dark chocolate.
He went out trick-or-treating with Shreya and one of Shreya's friends. He enjoyed it, of course, but the truth is, with 3 kids this soon became a situation with "rules" about who should take the lead in knocking on the door. I saw a much less spontaneous and bubbly Aditya as compared to last year. Lesson learnt!
The beautiful part is, Aditya articulated to me that he was getting bored. Wow! Expressing the emotional side when he feels like it (and not when it is appropriate to do so)!
Last year, Aditya and Shreya had collected about 50 pieces of candy. This year, they scored in the 80's! With a growth rate of 60% all you folks must want to invest your money in this young enterprise!
Since he does not eat the candy, he asked to exchange it with "cents". We offered to round up his 81 cents to a whole dollar. He was flexible with this idea and said "okay":-)
Okay, we are letting out one more secret. He and Shreya both got to eat a piece of 85% organic dark chocolate.
Monday, October 7, 2013
Reading, Basketball, Color Me Mine!
1. Showing a love for reading (although mostly non fiction)
2. Asked for a massage on his legs, on his own!
3. Noticed changed bed sheets, and thanked Aai! Said, "This is so organized... it looks like a restaurant. Silly me, it looks like a hotel."
4. Doing well at Basketball class (got 8 out of the 23 points earned by his team in the game played at the end)
5. Learning badminton with Son Rise volunteer friend Arjun. At the end of the last session they had a back and forth rally of 23! (Six months ago, could not hit the shuttle cock even once.)
6. Went to "Color me mine" with friends + their parents at school while Aai Baba were attending parent-teacher conferences
7. Showing more interest in playing with one child in his class that he seems to like
8. On invitation by his class mates, showing an interest in joining "Y Guides" a dad and son activity club
2. Asked for a massage on his legs, on his own!
3. Noticed changed bed sheets, and thanked Aai! Said, "This is so organized... it looks like a restaurant. Silly me, it looks like a hotel."
4. Doing well at Basketball class (got 8 out of the 23 points earned by his team in the game played at the end)
5. Learning badminton with Son Rise volunteer friend Arjun. At the end of the last session they had a back and forth rally of 23! (Six months ago, could not hit the shuttle cock even once.)
6. Went to "Color me mine" with friends + their parents at school while Aai Baba were attending parent-teacher conferences
7. Showing more interest in playing with one child in his class that he seems to like
8. On invitation by his class mates, showing an interest in joining "Y Guides" a dad and son activity club
Thursday, September 26, 2013
Kingdom 38!
There is no place on the planet
That is as beautiful and as great
It's Kingdom 38, it's Kingdom 38
It's Kingdom 38, it's Kingdom 38!
In our kingdom there is no theft
Whether you look right or you look left
In our kingdom there are no cops
In our kingdom there are no locks on shops!
Those are lyrics of the first-ever song composed (but not yet recorded) by Aditya.
This happened over the last weekend when we sat in Aditya's room with him on the guitar and me with a pen and paper.
Oh, what is Kingdom 38? It is the first ever movie he is thinking of making when he grows up. It has the king and the prince of Kingdom 38 waging a war against the king and the prince of Kingdom 43, and eventually winning it.
The war is over "who should the princess of Kingdom 38 marry?"
The prince of kingdom 43 wants to marry her. But Kingdom 38 folks (including the princess) want her to marry some poor prince from a kingdom with a number smaller than 10!
Bollywood, hold your breath! Aditya is coming!!!
That is as beautiful and as great
It's Kingdom 38, it's Kingdom 38
It's Kingdom 38, it's Kingdom 38!
In our kingdom there is no theft
Whether you look right or you look left
In our kingdom there are no cops
In our kingdom there are no locks on shops!
Those are lyrics of the first-ever song composed (but not yet recorded) by Aditya.
This happened over the last weekend when we sat in Aditya's room with him on the guitar and me with a pen and paper.
Oh, what is Kingdom 38? It is the first ever movie he is thinking of making when he grows up. It has the king and the prince of Kingdom 38 waging a war against the king and the prince of Kingdom 43, and eventually winning it.
The war is over "who should the princess of Kingdom 38 marry?"
The prince of kingdom 43 wants to marry her. But Kingdom 38 folks (including the princess) want her to marry some poor prince from a kingdom with a number smaller than 10!
Bollywood, hold your breath! Aditya is coming!!!
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
One day... he will go to "basketball classes"!
It’s Tuesday. I pick
up my daughter from school at 2pm. I bring
her home. She grabs a banana for a
snack. She asks me, “What else can I
eat?” I give her two blocks of cheese and some chiwda. She finishes it while I finish my perfectly
hot cup of tea. She prepares her water bottle while I use the restroom. Together, we leave for basketball class.
She is one of the first few kids to get there. She starts practicing the hoops. She proudly tells the coach she got 6
hoops. The coach celebrates her and asks
her to keep going.
Slowly the other kids start coming in. Realizing that they are shooting the same
hoop, she starts taking turns with them.
When it’s too crowded she runs to the other side of the court and shoots
the hoop at that end. After a while she goes
and tells the coach she has done 17 hoops.
The coach celebrates her and asks her to keep going.
In a few minutes the class begins. The coach gets this highly energetic group of
20 or so kids to do lots of different exercises! She does most of her exercises correctly, some not. But she
tries to do all. She is an average runner.
Soon, the group is divided into two teams. A friendly contest is setup-- -something like
a relay race. Our group wins! Our kid runs a little slower, but does not become a liability for the
group.
The only problem… there is no wifi here. So I cannot work while I am watching all
this.
Okay, I made that up.
I do not want to work while watching him… I mean… her… play!
Oops… I gave it away!
But if you stayed with me,
congratulations!
Now find and replace all of the occurrences of ”she” and “her”
with “he” and “him”.
It is in fact Aditya who is attending the second session of his first ever basketball
class! No need to pinch me. I am wide awake, and taking it in:)
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Summer Fun
Today I am publishing a draft saved from June 27, 2013....
I have been having a ton of summer fun with the kids since the end of the school year. This summer, Shreya will be taking a break from attending summer camps. Till last summer, she had no choice but to attend camp so I could play with Aditya and train/ feedback volunteers. I decided that this year would be different. With both kids home, we all wanted a little structure to our day. I came up with the idea of having my own summer camp with a different theme each week.
The first week, we started with the theme "India". We learnt to read and write Marathi, played games typically played in India, cooked Indian snacks, dressed up, played Bollywood music and danced! A fun four hours each day!
The theme this week was "Play to grow" We played, played and played! On Thursday, we went on a field trip to the Tech Museum. This trip was miles removed from the one we took about 6 months ago! I cannot contain my excitement and decided to share it with everybody here!
I started off asking the kids how long they wanted to be at the museum. Shreya wanted to spend three hours, Aditya one. We negotiated it to 2 hours. Aditya would have a turn to pick activities for the first 30 minutes, followed by Shreya and then keep going in 30 minute increments. We left around noon, after a heavy brunch. We also decided to have our late lunch (which I had packed) on our way back, to save on time. With all agreements in place, we headed out.
Walking to the museum after parking the car, I happened to mention that the building in front of us was the downtown library branch, the one which had Mickey Mouse books available when we had last checked online. Aditya jumped up with joy and wanted to change the plans for the day! But we stuck our original plans:)
Once inside the museum, Aditya chose to go to downstairs, I guess, because he loves the earthquakes exhibit. As we walked by, I encouraged them to read about the different hands-on activities going on. He saw a hands-on workshop designing doodling robots! He chose that as his activity for the first half hour. He was completely engaged, enthusiastic and raring to go, asking volunteers appropriate questions, not holding back if he didn't understand and clarifying if he had a doubt. I have never seen him as proud as today, when he built the robot!
Shreya then got to choose her activities. Aditya was fully engaged and enthusiastic about her activities too. When he saw that the next activity she was moving to was crowded, he decided to stay where he was and later joined us, when the crowd had receded. Just like Shreya, he was fascinated by the Google Earth app where he could go places like Mount Everest, Taj Mahal and his own home :) He even explored the various land forms on Mars and wondered how they took pictures in valleys on Mars!
By the time he chose his next activity, we were at the museum for almost an hour and a half. He voted to stay longer. Since we had left our lunch in the car, I surprised the kids with a visit to the cafe. We haven't had random outside food for a really loooooong time and both were amazed that I got an order of French fries for everyone to share. (To be honest, this was the second time ever we ate french fries!) Then I gave them some organic mint I pulled out of the purse :) I decided to keep my beliefs about food away and see how he did. And guess what, he was teary eyed and said that he felt like any other family!
We then moved to the energy exhibit. He approached it like a science experiment and was so absorbed in changing different parameters and analyzing the results that it amazed me. He also was able to clearly explain what his hypothesis was, how it was wrong (or at times correct), why he thought it was wrong and how he changed the next steps based on the results he now saw. I had never seen him give so much thought to the whys and relating them to the results before!
We ended the day experiencing earthquake simulations based on actual earthquake data, including magnitude, movement, and duration of the earthquake.
As we walked out, sister asked to visit the gift shop. Aditya wandered around till he found a "Motors and generators" kit on sale. He wanted to use his money to buy it. I suggested that we look up the price online. We entered a deal that he could get it here if it was cheaper than Amazon. He then called up Baba to find out how much it cost on Amazon. Beaming with joy as he hung up, he announced that he could get it!
We got back home really exhausted but sooooo happy! As soon as we entered, he was so charged up to start his experiments that he walked into the kitchen, looked around and came to me saying, "Thankfully you cooked dinner before we left, now you can supervise me while I work on my experiments :)"
As of now, he is through with 20 of the 25 projects! He is reading instructions, UNDERSTANDING what he reads and following directions .. simply AMAZING!!!
I have been having a ton of summer fun with the kids since the end of the school year. This summer, Shreya will be taking a break from attending summer camps. Till last summer, she had no choice but to attend camp so I could play with Aditya and train/ feedback volunteers. I decided that this year would be different. With both kids home, we all wanted a little structure to our day. I came up with the idea of having my own summer camp with a different theme each week.
The first week, we started with the theme "India". We learnt to read and write Marathi, played games typically played in India, cooked Indian snacks, dressed up, played Bollywood music and danced! A fun four hours each day!
The theme this week was "Play to grow" We played, played and played! On Thursday, we went on a field trip to the Tech Museum. This trip was miles removed from the one we took about 6 months ago! I cannot contain my excitement and decided to share it with everybody here!
I started off asking the kids how long they wanted to be at the museum. Shreya wanted to spend three hours, Aditya one. We negotiated it to 2 hours. Aditya would have a turn to pick activities for the first 30 minutes, followed by Shreya and then keep going in 30 minute increments. We left around noon, after a heavy brunch. We also decided to have our late lunch (which I had packed) on our way back, to save on time. With all agreements in place, we headed out.
Walking to the museum after parking the car, I happened to mention that the building in front of us was the downtown library branch, the one which had Mickey Mouse books available when we had last checked online. Aditya jumped up with joy and wanted to change the plans for the day! But we stuck our original plans:)
Once inside the museum, Aditya chose to go to downstairs, I guess, because he loves the earthquakes exhibit. As we walked by, I encouraged them to read about the different hands-on activities going on. He saw a hands-on workshop designing doodling robots! He chose that as his activity for the first half hour. He was completely engaged, enthusiastic and raring to go, asking volunteers appropriate questions, not holding back if he didn't understand and clarifying if he had a doubt. I have never seen him as proud as today, when he built the robot!
Shreya then got to choose her activities. Aditya was fully engaged and enthusiastic about her activities too. When he saw that the next activity she was moving to was crowded, he decided to stay where he was and later joined us, when the crowd had receded. Just like Shreya, he was fascinated by the Google Earth app where he could go places like Mount Everest, Taj Mahal and his own home :) He even explored the various land forms on Mars and wondered how they took pictures in valleys on Mars!
By the time he chose his next activity, we were at the museum for almost an hour and a half. He voted to stay longer. Since we had left our lunch in the car, I surprised the kids with a visit to the cafe. We haven't had random outside food for a really loooooong time and both were amazed that I got an order of French fries for everyone to share. (To be honest, this was the second time ever we ate french fries!) Then I gave them some organic mint I pulled out of the purse :) I decided to keep my beliefs about food away and see how he did. And guess what, he was teary eyed and said that he felt like any other family!
We then moved to the energy exhibit. He approached it like a science experiment and was so absorbed in changing different parameters and analyzing the results that it amazed me. He also was able to clearly explain what his hypothesis was, how it was wrong (or at times correct), why he thought it was wrong and how he changed the next steps based on the results he now saw. I had never seen him give so much thought to the whys and relating them to the results before!
We ended the day experiencing earthquake simulations based on actual earthquake data, including magnitude, movement, and duration of the earthquake.
As we walked out, sister asked to visit the gift shop. Aditya wandered around till he found a "Motors and generators" kit on sale. He wanted to use his money to buy it. I suggested that we look up the price online. We entered a deal that he could get it here if it was cheaper than Amazon. He then called up Baba to find out how much it cost on Amazon. Beaming with joy as he hung up, he announced that he could get it!
We got back home really exhausted but sooooo happy! As soon as we entered, he was so charged up to start his experiments that he walked into the kitchen, looked around and came to me saying, "Thankfully you cooked dinner before we left, now you can supervise me while I work on my experiments :)"
As of now, he is through with 20 of the 25 projects! He is reading instructions, UNDERSTANDING what he reads and following directions .. simply AMAZING!!!
Saturday, June 22, 2013
Puzzles, Nerf battles, and Reading!
All three were huge challenges, just weeks ago.
He showed no interest in doing puzzles for the last 8.5 years. This week, he did three puzzles with Baba. Priceless!
He had shown major signs of anxiety around anything called a gun. He played nerf guns with Shreya, Baba, and even his volunteers all this week!
He never showed any interest in reading books although he used to love reading take out menus a year ago! But this week he is glued to his book about the "1001 whys" gifted by Aai.
After dinner tonight, he AND Shreya both read in pin drop silence for 15 minutes straight. I had to request them to go to bed at that point. Shreya LOVES to read so this is not new for her. But Aditya? You couldn't get him to read even a few lines, only a few weeks ago!
Thank you Aditya, for showing us that change is easy! Provided you want change really strongly, without needing it (i.e. making your happiness conditional on it)!
In other news, he is trying to crack jokes all the time. They are totally un-funny at times, but we are loving them anyways! We have no doubt that with his amazing sense of humor and his enthusiasm in learning anything new, he is going to "crack" this one too:-)
Shreya is showing increased enthusiasm in joining Aditya and inviting him to play too. She is showing amazing consistency in saying "Okay" if she invites him to play and he says no. She is showing even more consistency in trying again after a while:-) (And being okay if he says no again!)
We are blessed to have you Shreya!
He showed no interest in doing puzzles for the last 8.5 years. This week, he did three puzzles with Baba. Priceless!
He had shown major signs of anxiety around anything called a gun. He played nerf guns with Shreya, Baba, and even his volunteers all this week!
He never showed any interest in reading books although he used to love reading take out menus a year ago! But this week he is glued to his book about the "1001 whys" gifted by Aai.
After dinner tonight, he AND Shreya both read in pin drop silence for 15 minutes straight. I had to request them to go to bed at that point. Shreya LOVES to read so this is not new for her. But Aditya? You couldn't get him to read even a few lines, only a few weeks ago!
Thank you Aditya, for showing us that change is easy! Provided you want change really strongly, without needing it (i.e. making your happiness conditional on it)!
In other news, he is trying to crack jokes all the time. They are totally un-funny at times, but we are loving them anyways! We have no doubt that with his amazing sense of humor and his enthusiasm in learning anything new, he is going to "crack" this one too:-)
Shreya is showing increased enthusiasm in joining Aditya and inviting him to play too. She is showing amazing consistency in saying "Okay" if she invites him to play and he says no. She is showing even more consistency in trying again after a while:-) (And being okay if he says no again!)
We are blessed to have you Shreya!
Friday, June 21, 2013
End of the school year, Team meeting, Fathers' day!
The school year came to an end. Aditya, who attended only 4 hours of school per week last year, finished the year attending 30 hours a week, every single week, except for the weeks we were in India!
His year end progress report spoke of remarkable improvement in all areas between the winter and the spring semesters! For us, the coolest part of that report was a mention of Aditya taking inititiave and choosing his own activities to do in unstructured time, Aditya playing a variety of games with other kids in the class, and Aditya beginning to voice his disagreements (WOW!) in a respectful manner.
Go Aditya!
Shreya earned a rave review from her teacher too. She is taking on new challenges, learning, and growing tremendously, and having fun at it! It shows in her continued enthusiasm and energy about school, as well as that of her teacher's words about her.
As her token of gratitude for the twins who did so well, Aai gifted Aditya and Shreya with Time for kids' "Big Book of Why - 1001 facts" and "Big Book of How - 501 facts".
Once the summer began, we had a bit of a breather and we held a long pending team meeting in which we played a fun game of putting together a story with 3 random words picked from the dictionary, by the rest of the group (e.g. wishbone, insincere, tetanus or snowflake, navy, defraud). It was a hilarious and reassuring reminder that we all know how to let go and have fun-- no matter what!
On Sunday, Aditya and Shreya insisted Baba stayed in bed until they got done with baking special coconut flour muffins with Aai's supervision (but practically without her help). Aditya also brought a hot cup of tea to Baba in his bed (as he knows BABA LOVES BED TEA:-)) It was hilarious, though, when he earlier tried to keep Baba from waking up by putting a pillow right on his face!
Later that day, Baba spent an hour each playing with the twins.
Baba also re-introduced Aditya to jigsaw puzzles. He showed a lot more interest and readiness for doing puzzles than he has had in the past! The past is the past, it has no relation to the present!
After having cracked a smaller "Disney Cars" puzzle, this morning, he attempted a 100 piece "Spongebob Squarepants" puzzle with Baba. He could not finish it but he got done with about 25%. Bravo!!!
In related news, Baba and Aditya also play the Nerf guns regularly now. He appears less and less anxious every time we play. The last time we played, we took turns pretending to be the cop with his Nerf-gun catching the robber who is scaring Mickey Mouse with his pistol to give away his money!
His year end progress report spoke of remarkable improvement in all areas between the winter and the spring semesters! For us, the coolest part of that report was a mention of Aditya taking inititiave and choosing his own activities to do in unstructured time, Aditya playing a variety of games with other kids in the class, and Aditya beginning to voice his disagreements (WOW!) in a respectful manner.
Go Aditya!
Shreya earned a rave review from her teacher too. She is taking on new challenges, learning, and growing tremendously, and having fun at it! It shows in her continued enthusiasm and energy about school, as well as that of her teacher's words about her.
As her token of gratitude for the twins who did so well, Aai gifted Aditya and Shreya with Time for kids' "Big Book of Why - 1001 facts" and "Big Book of How - 501 facts".
Once the summer began, we had a bit of a breather and we held a long pending team meeting in which we played a fun game of putting together a story with 3 random words picked from the dictionary, by the rest of the group (e.g. wishbone, insincere, tetanus or snowflake, navy, defraud). It was a hilarious and reassuring reminder that we all know how to let go and have fun-- no matter what!
On Sunday, Aditya and Shreya insisted Baba stayed in bed until they got done with baking special coconut flour muffins with Aai's supervision (but practically without her help). Aditya also brought a hot cup of tea to Baba in his bed (as he knows BABA LOVES BED TEA:-)) It was hilarious, though, when he earlier tried to keep Baba from waking up by putting a pillow right on his face!
Later that day, Baba spent an hour each playing with the twins.
Baba also re-introduced Aditya to jigsaw puzzles. He showed a lot more interest and readiness for doing puzzles than he has had in the past! The past is the past, it has no relation to the present!
After having cracked a smaller "Disney Cars" puzzle, this morning, he attempted a 100 piece "Spongebob Squarepants" puzzle with Baba. He could not finish it but he got done with about 25%. Bravo!!!
In related news, Baba and Aditya also play the Nerf guns regularly now. He appears less and less anxious every time we play. The last time we played, we took turns pretending to be the cop with his Nerf-gun catching the robber who is scaring Mickey Mouse with his pistol to give away his money!
Saturday, June 8, 2013
Nerf guns!
A few months ago, Aditya saw kids playing with toy guns at a social get-together at our friends' house. He appeared super anxious... and said aloud that he was worried about the guns killing someone.
In April this year when we went to India, he got a chance to see up close what someone can (play) and cannot (kill) do with toy guns. Then he tried using it! He saw how it worked! Hurrah!
This week, we got our own nerf gun and nerf pistol, and we spent this morning playing with those!
Little things we could not take for granted... are coming true... one by one!
In April this year when we went to India, he got a chance to see up close what someone can (play) and cannot (kill) do with toy guns. Then he tried using it! He saw how it worked! Hurrah!
This week, we got our own nerf gun and nerf pistol, and we spent this morning playing with those!
Little things we could not take for granted... are coming true... one by one!
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Frisbee
Arjun has been volunteering with us for about a year now. One of the gifts he gave Aditya recently was inviting him to play outside, and then inviting him to play Frisbee!
These days, when he is free, Aditya is found practicing his Frisbee skills in the backyard. In the last post we described how we played the mini-Olympics. If you recall that post, Aditya won the Frisbee contest beating Shreya and Baba!
On the weekend, he did something even more amazing. He said he wanted to go to the neighbors' house, to see if his lost Frisbee was in their backyard. He did all of that plus entered their backdoor and retrieved his lost Frisbee with our neighbors' help, and found even Shreya's pink Frisbee right there:)
And then he did that again when he mistakenly threw his Frisbee in their backyard... again!
The first time he went to the neighbors', Baba was there to back him up.
The second time around, Baba "thought" he was there to back him up. He didn't have to. Aditya said fluently, "I am sorry but my Frisbee is in your backyard again."
Their son who had opened the door the first time too, got exactly what Aditya was looking for, and asked, "You know how to go into the backyward right?"
Both his dad and Aditya's dad were all smiles, as Aditya swiftly found and picked up his blue Frisbee from their backyard.
Way to go, Aditya!
Congratulations Arjun and everyone else on the team.
Inviting your friend to do something new (without "needing" it ) is the most precious gift you can give your friend!
These days, when he is free, Aditya is found practicing his Frisbee skills in the backyard. In the last post we described how we played the mini-Olympics. If you recall that post, Aditya won the Frisbee contest beating Shreya and Baba!
On the weekend, he did something even more amazing. He said he wanted to go to the neighbors' house, to see if his lost Frisbee was in their backyard. He did all of that plus entered their backdoor and retrieved his lost Frisbee with our neighbors' help, and found even Shreya's pink Frisbee right there:)
And then he did that again when he mistakenly threw his Frisbee in their backyard... again!
The first time he went to the neighbors', Baba was there to back him up.
The second time around, Baba "thought" he was there to back him up. He didn't have to. Aditya said fluently, "I am sorry but my Frisbee is in your backyard again."
Their son who had opened the door the first time too, got exactly what Aditya was looking for, and asked, "You know how to go into the backyward right?"
Both his dad and Aditya's dad were all smiles, as Aditya swiftly found and picked up his blue Frisbee from their backyard.
Way to go, Aditya!
Congratulations Arjun and everyone else on the team.
Inviting your friend to do something new (without "needing" it ) is the most precious gift you can give your friend!
Monday, June 3, 2013
Wall Ball, Four Square, and mini-Olympics!
From playing wall-ball we have already moved on to playing Four Square.
2 volunteers + Baba + Aditya
1 volunteer + Aditya + Shreya + Baba
Aai + Baba+ Aditya+ Shreya
So many fun teams to play with! We play this now as part of almost every play room session! When there is no 3rd and the 4th player available, Aditya plays 2-square with his volunteer!
Yesterday, we tried something new!
Totally inspired after watching their first Hindi movie "Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikandar", the kids agreed to play a "mini-Olympics".
Aditya, Shreya, Baba all participated in the following 7 games:
1. Running race from one end of the backyard to the other and back. Shreya gold, Aditya silver, Baba who walked instead of ran, got the bronze.
2. Throwing a Frisbee (Oh... by the way... a new post on this topic coming up soon!) Aditya gold, Baba silver, Shreya bronze.
3. Taking aim with a tennis ball to knock out cricket stumps. Baba gold, Shreya silver, Aditya bronze.
4. Soccer style free kicks. Baba gold, Shreya silver, Aditya bronze.
5. Hockey style free kicks with a cricket bat. Shreya and Baba shared the gold. Aditya got the Silver.
6. Hula Hooping. Baba participated and got a bronze medal:) Aditya did 7 seconds for his Silver medal. Shreya had to be stopped at 140 seconds.
7. Gymnastics. Baba opted out. (No medal.) Shreya got the gold with her amazing hand stands and flips. Aditya was cute in trying to imitate her and got the silver!
We had lots of fun, and finished with fresh home-made strawberry banana ice cream!
2 volunteers + Baba + Aditya
1 volunteer + Aditya + Shreya + Baba
Aai + Baba+ Aditya+ Shreya
So many fun teams to play with! We play this now as part of almost every play room session! When there is no 3rd and the 4th player available, Aditya plays 2-square with his volunteer!
Yesterday, we tried something new!
Totally inspired after watching their first Hindi movie "Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikandar", the kids agreed to play a "mini-Olympics".
Aditya, Shreya, Baba all participated in the following 7 games:
1. Running race from one end of the backyard to the other and back. Shreya gold, Aditya silver, Baba who walked instead of ran, got the bronze.
2. Throwing a Frisbee (Oh... by the way... a new post on this topic coming up soon!) Aditya gold, Baba silver, Shreya bronze.
3. Taking aim with a tennis ball to knock out cricket stumps. Baba gold, Shreya silver, Aditya bronze.
4. Soccer style free kicks. Baba gold, Shreya silver, Aditya bronze.
5. Hockey style free kicks with a cricket bat. Shreya and Baba shared the gold. Aditya got the Silver.
6. Hula Hooping. Baba participated and got a bronze medal:) Aditya did 7 seconds for his Silver medal. Shreya had to be stopped at 140 seconds.
7. Gymnastics. Baba opted out. (No medal.) Shreya got the gold with her amazing hand stands and flips. Aditya was cute in trying to imitate her and got the silver!
We had lots of fun, and finished with fresh home-made strawberry banana ice cream!
Monday, May 20, 2013
A very special breakfast
This morning, Baba made a deal with Aditya.
"If you help me by peeling off these boiled eggs which I will then take with me to eat for breakfast, then I will return by 5:30pm and play with you."
Aditya happily fulfilled his side of the deal. Pointing to the imperfect (i.e. not round and polished) look of the peeled boiled eggs, he said, "these look funky, but is that okay?"
I said "they look amazing".
Sister does these jobs easily and without fanfare. But what I clearly know is doing something right now and then waiting to get something in exchange for even minutes was a huge challenge for Aditya.
Today, when he made this deal he got nothing in return "right now". He agreed to wait for 10 hours for the result!
Is the other party (me) committed to delivering? Totally. I look forward to an exciting day at work followed by a scenic and slow drive (i.e. there is usually traffic congestion) followed by 30 minutes of play time with Aditya!
Currently though I am enjoying my eggs with coffee. The eggs are extra delicious!
"If you help me by peeling off these boiled eggs which I will then take with me to eat for breakfast, then I will return by 5:30pm and play with you."
Aditya happily fulfilled his side of the deal. Pointing to the imperfect (i.e. not round and polished) look of the peeled boiled eggs, he said, "these look funky, but is that okay?"
I said "they look amazing".
Sister does these jobs easily and without fanfare. But what I clearly know is doing something right now and then waiting to get something in exchange for even minutes was a huge challenge for Aditya.
Today, when he made this deal he got nothing in return "right now". He agreed to wait for 10 hours for the result!
Is the other party (me) committed to delivering? Totally. I look forward to an exciting day at work followed by a scenic and slow drive (i.e. there is usually traffic congestion) followed by 30 minutes of play time with Aditya!
Currently though I am enjoying my eggs with coffee. The eggs are extra delicious!
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
He asked me-- "Do you need to be left alone?"
One day, I looked not particularly thrilled as he asked me 3 questions while my wife also said something to me from another room.
I began to speak louder and faster, the kind of voice that suggests "annoyed" to neuro-typical folks.
The cool thing... Aditya suspected that too.
"Do you need my-time? I heard you yell." He asked me, point blank!
By the way, "my time" is an expression we use in our house to describe "time away from everything to decompress".
I replied to him that I did not need "my time", but that I needed to go and answer my wife, and then I could come back to take more questions:-)
What a lesson in using words rather than anger as a communication device!
I began to speak louder and faster, the kind of voice that suggests "annoyed" to neuro-typical folks.
The cool thing... Aditya suspected that too.
"Do you need my-time? I heard you yell." He asked me, point blank!
By the way, "my time" is an expression we use in our house to describe "time away from everything to decompress".
I replied to him that I did not need "my time", but that I needed to go and answer my wife, and then I could come back to take more questions:-)
What a lesson in using words rather than anger as a communication device!
Friday, May 3, 2013
Aditya went to India!
Our family just returned from a 3 week long vacation in India.
The last time we visited was before beginning our Son Rise program in 2009. About 4 years later (6 in case of Baba) we really wanted to take a break and go back to our roots, and enjoy the warmth (literally)!
Of course, Aditya looked so much more ready to handle this exciting and adventurous experience! Along with Shreya, he expressed a strong desire to go!
What did we do in these 3 weeks?
1. Baba took the kids to the place where he spent most of his life before coming to America. Even if no one from our family lives there now, two different neighbors invited us into their house, and showed much excitement about meeting us, plus a curiosity about where we are now and what we do!
2. The kids went on scooter rides with various family members including Aai, Baba, Grandpa, Uncle, Aunt, etc to get milk, newspaper, vegetables etc. The "scooter" is not the kids' scooter but a commonly used 2 wheeler that runs on gas (petrol).
3. Crossed the street holding hands and waving to the oncoming car or bike indicating we were about to cross! Aditya expressed concern around this, and we don't blame him! By the way, he learned to wave to the car!
4. Ate tons of mangoes, and Aditya even plucked some at his grandfather's mango orchard! He used words to get help from the workers!
5. The twins played extensively with their cousin sisters- 6 and 2 year old. The 2 year old expressed her love toward Aditya by grabbing his hair and tickling him. Upset in the beginning over this, Aditya called her mean. In the end though they learned to play with each other simple games like sticking their faces together!
6. Played with kids "downstairs" in our condo community. When Aai and Baba were growing up in India, we never needed play dates. We could go "downstairs" and there would be someone to play! The twins learned first hand what that was like! The kids who allowed Aditya to play cricket with them were especially sweet towards him, allowing him a second chance if he got run out by mistake for example!
7. Played at the local park, using Marathi words to tell another kid not to push him. (The kid said THANK YOU back to him!)
8. Went shopping in crowded places and in hot conditions. You are probably wondering why we are saying this so proudly. Well, we just did everything the way we normally do in India, and Aditya went along with it!
9. Aditya tried his hands at learning Hindi, while sister practically spoke in Marathi all the time!
10. Listened to Hindi songs LIVE on radio.
11. Learned how to pay the fine and get your car back if it got towed for being parked in a "No Parking" zone!
12. Watched IPL cricket games on TV in real time!
13. Shreya played with another 4 year old neighbor! Aditya instead played with grandpa! But in the end even Aditya played with the 4 year old!
14. Aditya asked for permission to play "Wii" when we visited another family that also had an 8 year old who invited him to play "Wii". He had a priceless look when we agreed.
15. Played with the neighbor's cat and fed him!
16. Met with Aai-Baba's old friends and played with their kids.
17. Sang and played Hindi tunes on the guitar much to the delight of his grandparents. (Sometimes he used the guitar to center himself in the middle of chaos!)
18. Aditya Watched "Cars-2" and "Up" in flight. (Our first time letting him watch a movie we had not watched.)
19. Aditya re-learned to use the squatting potty.
Both kids thoroughly enjoyed the vacation, and expressed a strong interest in returning to live in India!
The last time we visited was before beginning our Son Rise program in 2009. About 4 years later (6 in case of Baba) we really wanted to take a break and go back to our roots, and enjoy the warmth (literally)!
Of course, Aditya looked so much more ready to handle this exciting and adventurous experience! Along with Shreya, he expressed a strong desire to go!
What did we do in these 3 weeks?
1. Baba took the kids to the place where he spent most of his life before coming to America. Even if no one from our family lives there now, two different neighbors invited us into their house, and showed much excitement about meeting us, plus a curiosity about where we are now and what we do!
2. The kids went on scooter rides with various family members including Aai, Baba, Grandpa, Uncle, Aunt, etc to get milk, newspaper, vegetables etc. The "scooter" is not the kids' scooter but a commonly used 2 wheeler that runs on gas (petrol).
3. Crossed the street holding hands and waving to the oncoming car or bike indicating we were about to cross! Aditya expressed concern around this, and we don't blame him! By the way, he learned to wave to the car!
4. Ate tons of mangoes, and Aditya even plucked some at his grandfather's mango orchard! He used words to get help from the workers!
5. The twins played extensively with their cousin sisters- 6 and 2 year old. The 2 year old expressed her love toward Aditya by grabbing his hair and tickling him. Upset in the beginning over this, Aditya called her mean. In the end though they learned to play with each other simple games like sticking their faces together!
6. Played with kids "downstairs" in our condo community. When Aai and Baba were growing up in India, we never needed play dates. We could go "downstairs" and there would be someone to play! The twins learned first hand what that was like! The kids who allowed Aditya to play cricket with them were especially sweet towards him, allowing him a second chance if he got run out by mistake for example!
7. Played at the local park, using Marathi words to tell another kid not to push him. (The kid said THANK YOU back to him!)
8. Went shopping in crowded places and in hot conditions. You are probably wondering why we are saying this so proudly. Well, we just did everything the way we normally do in India, and Aditya went along with it!
9. Aditya tried his hands at learning Hindi, while sister practically spoke in Marathi all the time!
10. Listened to Hindi songs LIVE on radio.
11. Learned how to pay the fine and get your car back if it got towed for being parked in a "No Parking" zone!
12. Watched IPL cricket games on TV in real time!
13. Shreya played with another 4 year old neighbor! Aditya instead played with grandpa! But in the end even Aditya played with the 4 year old!
14. Aditya asked for permission to play "Wii" when we visited another family that also had an 8 year old who invited him to play "Wii". He had a priceless look when we agreed.
15. Played with the neighbor's cat and fed him!
16. Met with Aai-Baba's old friends and played with their kids.
17. Sang and played Hindi tunes on the guitar much to the delight of his grandparents. (Sometimes he used the guitar to center himself in the middle of chaos!)
18. Aditya Watched "Cars-2" and "Up" in flight. (Our first time letting him watch a movie we had not watched.)
19. Aditya re-learned to use the squatting potty.
Both kids thoroughly enjoyed the vacation, and expressed a strong interest in returning to live in India!
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
April Fools Day!
Belated Happy Fools Day!
Yesterday morning, Aditya called his grandparents and played an April Fools prank on them! Woo-Hoo!
In other news, Aditya has been playing Wall Ball with other kids in school. When he began doing this a couple of months ago... he did not stand a chance against those veterans!
So we recently began to practice it with him every weekend, both in the backyard as well as in the school playground.
Today, Aditya is hooked on to wall ball, and just like everything else that once seemed extremely challenging for him, he has learned wall ball too... at least he is as good as an average 8 year old now!
Our Son Rise program volunteers now play with him in the back yard too. Actually, it is Aditya who invites them to play Wall Ball in the backyard!
In related news, Sundays have become "family activity" days. On one Sunday we took the twins to the aquarium. On two other weekends, we played a whole host of games in the backyard--- from badminton to cricket to tag to hopping-on-one-foot tag (called "Langdi" in India where Aai-Baba grew up)!
Yesterday morning, Aditya called his grandparents and played an April Fools prank on them! Woo-Hoo!
In other news, Aditya has been playing Wall Ball with other kids in school. When he began doing this a couple of months ago... he did not stand a chance against those veterans!
So we recently began to practice it with him every weekend, both in the backyard as well as in the school playground.
Today, Aditya is hooked on to wall ball, and just like everything else that once seemed extremely challenging for him, he has learned wall ball too... at least he is as good as an average 8 year old now!
Our Son Rise program volunteers now play with him in the back yard too. Actually, it is Aditya who invites them to play Wall Ball in the backyard!
In related news, Sundays have become "family activity" days. On one Sunday we took the twins to the aquarium. On two other weekends, we played a whole host of games in the backyard--- from badminton to cricket to tag to hopping-on-one-foot tag (called "Langdi" in India where Aai-Baba grew up)!
Monday, February 25, 2013
Love of music!
Throughout the day yesterday, Aditya delighted in figuring out and playing on his guitar the kind of Hindi songs that his dad loves to listen to, sing, and play!
(If you know Hindi songs... here is what he was playing:
Hum Tum Se Mile (Rocky), Pyar Humein (Satte Pe Satta), Pehle Pehle Pyar Ki (Great Gambler), Jo Haal Dil Ka (Sarfarosh), Tune Mujhe Pehchana Nahi (Raju Chacha), etc. )
Two years ago, we started bonding over music, cricket, soccer, and a host of other games!
Three years ago, we were not even playing tic-tac-toe together. When we did, it had to be with light bulbs and fans, or tapes and CD's so he could stay "interested" in playing it.
Four years ago, we joined him where he was, and played "draw the microwave" with him. It took 30 microwave ovens for the genius in him to be convinced that it was a perfect design. We had then added a bowl of soup to the microwave. He had gladly approved!
Five or six years ago, we were told by experts that he had autism, and life would never be the same for us!
They said he was relatively high functioning, so he could have a bright future. But by bright future they meant doing what he could do within the "limits" placed by autism. And that there was no way around this reality!
They were wrong. He proved them wrong.
And they were right too. Life was not the same for us after his diagnosis. It became WAY BETTER.
It is way better now than we could have asked for, even before his diagnosis!
And every time I think there is nothing more I can ask for, he keeps making it better:-)
Meanwhile, Shreya is quietly learning the keyboard on her own, and sometimes consults with her brother and friend Aditya about it.
I am grateful, content, delighted!!!
Aditya is also preparing to play his favorite "Banana Phone" song on the keyboard during the upcoming variety show at his school. The reason for the song is not that Aditya is crazy about it, but that I (Baba) am a lot more comfortable with teaching this song. I say this because three years ago, Aditya's only ism was to sing, draw, talk about, and walk with the Banana Phone CD!
(If you know Hindi songs... here is what he was playing:
Hum Tum Se Mile (Rocky), Pyar Humein (Satte Pe Satta), Pehle Pehle Pyar Ki (Great Gambler), Jo Haal Dil Ka (Sarfarosh), Tune Mujhe Pehchana Nahi (Raju Chacha), etc. )
Two years ago, we started bonding over music, cricket, soccer, and a host of other games!
Three years ago, we were not even playing tic-tac-toe together. When we did, it had to be with light bulbs and fans, or tapes and CD's so he could stay "interested" in playing it.
Four years ago, we joined him where he was, and played "draw the microwave" with him. It took 30 microwave ovens for the genius in him to be convinced that it was a perfect design. We had then added a bowl of soup to the microwave. He had gladly approved!
Five or six years ago, we were told by experts that he had autism, and life would never be the same for us!
They said he was relatively high functioning, so he could have a bright future. But by bright future they meant doing what he could do within the "limits" placed by autism. And that there was no way around this reality!
They were wrong. He proved them wrong.
And they were right too. Life was not the same for us after his diagnosis. It became WAY BETTER.
It is way better now than we could have asked for, even before his diagnosis!
And every time I think there is nothing more I can ask for, he keeps making it better:-)
Meanwhile, Shreya is quietly learning the keyboard on her own, and sometimes consults with her brother and friend Aditya about it.
I am grateful, content, delighted!!!
Aditya is also preparing to play his favorite "Banana Phone" song on the keyboard during the upcoming variety show at his school. The reason for the song is not that Aditya is crazy about it, but that I (Baba) am a lot more comfortable with teaching this song. I say this because three years ago, Aditya's only ism was to sing, draw, talk about, and walk with the Banana Phone CD!
Birthday Party!
This is another huge milestone. And we are so grateful for it!
The twins had had their last "conventional" birthday party when they were 4.
Two Sundays ago, they had their latest and greatest birthday party with a group of friends they invited from each of their classes. We held the party at "Airborne Gymnastics"... a place that offers a structured and directed 1 hour gymnastics session for the birthday kids and their friends. The twins had a blast! Especially Shreya who is a big gymnastics enthusiast. Aditya thoroughly enjoyed it too!
The twins had had their last "conventional" birthday party when they were 4.
Two Sundays ago, they had their latest and greatest birthday party with a group of friends they invited from each of their classes. We held the party at "Airborne Gymnastics"... a place that offers a structured and directed 1 hour gymnastics session for the birthday kids and their friends. The twins had a blast! Especially Shreya who is a big gymnastics enthusiast. Aditya thoroughly enjoyed it too!
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Playing with words!
Aditya is doing a lot of word play these days.
1. Rhyming
Apparently, his teacher is the driving force and inspiration behind this. They play a game in school where the kids try putting together rhymes.
Aditya is creating these rhymes ON THE FLY.
e.g. Since I love Mickey Mouse
I can have him in my house
2. Coining brand new ideas... and animals!
While playing with a volunteer where Aditya, the volunteer, and Mickey Mouse went on an animal safari in Africa, he said, "This is a kig." When the volunteer asked him what that meant, he said it is an animal with the face of a cat and sound of a pig!
Oh, and if it is not obvious... our current ism is Mickey Mouse. It is the thing he talks about and plays with when in the playroom.
He is very interactive (i.e. not exclusive), but he always wants to include Mickey in the play, i.e. his only challenge here seems to be needing Mickey Mouse to be part of every activity.
Of course, as we always do in the Son Rise program, we see Mickey Mouse as his motivation, and we USE it to build our play rather than resist it!
As such, we are using a lot of the "Gerd's new way" (Aditya's term) techniques in our play. Aditya is fully aware of and has memorized what the new way is!
Something funny about this... he saw me write "use cliff hangers" on the board while talking to a volunteer. This was a technique to be used by the volunteer, wherein he says something like, "Hey Aditya you know something ... I went to this amazing place yesterday". This is designed to inspire Aditya to be curious and ask him about where he went-- thus practicing how to get to know more about your friend.
Since he saw me write that, he then asked me what it meant. I explained it to him, on which he asked, " Can I use cliff hangers when speaking to kids in my class?"
I laughed but said indeed he could. After a couple days, he told me he actually used that technique with a girl! How inspiring!
1. Rhyming
Apparently, his teacher is the driving force and inspiration behind this. They play a game in school where the kids try putting together rhymes.
Aditya is creating these rhymes ON THE FLY.
e.g. Since I love Mickey Mouse
I can have him in my house
2. Coining brand new ideas... and animals!
While playing with a volunteer where Aditya, the volunteer, and Mickey Mouse went on an animal safari in Africa, he said, "This is a kig." When the volunteer asked him what that meant, he said it is an animal with the face of a cat and sound of a pig!
Oh, and if it is not obvious... our current ism is Mickey Mouse. It is the thing he talks about and plays with when in the playroom.
He is very interactive (i.e. not exclusive), but he always wants to include Mickey in the play, i.e. his only challenge here seems to be needing Mickey Mouse to be part of every activity.
Of course, as we always do in the Son Rise program, we see Mickey Mouse as his motivation, and we USE it to build our play rather than resist it!
As such, we are using a lot of the "Gerd's new way" (Aditya's term) techniques in our play. Aditya is fully aware of and has memorized what the new way is!
Something funny about this... he saw me write "use cliff hangers" on the board while talking to a volunteer. This was a technique to be used by the volunteer, wherein he says something like, "Hey Aditya you know something ... I went to this amazing place yesterday". This is designed to inspire Aditya to be curious and ask him about where he went-- thus practicing how to get to know more about your friend.
Since he saw me write that, he then asked me what it meant. I explained it to him, on which he asked, " Can I use cliff hangers when speaking to kids in my class?"
I laughed but said indeed he could. After a couple days, he told me he actually used that technique with a girl! How inspiring!
Monday, January 21, 2013
Our little boy is coming back :)
As we mentioned in our last post, senior teacher Gerd Winkler was here to observe Aditya at school and also play with him! What an experience! Every time we meet somebody from Son-Rise, we feel rejuvenated, hopeful and our program has a new direction. This time is no different!
Day 1:
I met Gerd at school early Thursday morning, signed him in and introduced him to Aditya's teacher. Dad dropped off both kids to school. It was my aiding day and I was in Shreya's class between recess and lunch. I couldn't help myself but sneak a peek into Aditya's class next door, every once in a while :) After lunch, I was in Aditya's class aiding, with Gerd observing.
Day 2:
We dropped off the kids to school and returned to an exciting day with Gerd. Three hours in the morning, our hearts were filled with joy, pride, relief and at times, disbelief, as we heard Gerd's assessment of Aditya, the teacher, his class and what he thought about the fit.
To sum up everything in a sentence: "If a layman were to observe the class, at the end of the day, he would never be able to identify the child with Autism." This does not mean that he does not have any challenges. But to the untrained eye, he would be indistinguishable! His challenges are mainly seen on the playground, where he has a hard time joining an ongoing game.
A gist of our conversation with Gerd:
"He is one of the most well behaved children in the classroom.. a teacher's dream. He is unbelievably patient, polite .. in everything .. waiting for his turn, speaking, answering others .. pleasant to be around.
Raises his hand and is persistent."
As regards the school .. it is one of the better schools he has seen in all these years, a really good teacher and good fit for him. Woohoo!
What are some of his challenges? At various times during the day he has a challenge self-initiating i.e. finding something to do on his own, when nothing is told, or when there is nothing to do. (Or, there was something to do which our son has finished doing... usually in a breeze, so now there is nothing to do.)
He also rarely initiates conversations with other kids, but is very eager and responsive if they come up to him.
After we got Aditya home from school at lunch, he sat at the table with us and had a wonderful chat with Gerd. It was an eye opener for us how Gerd directly spoke to Aditya about where he is in his journey!
He thanked Aditya for allowing him to watch him the whole day, and then congratulated him on how amazingly well he was doing at school and how he was laughing and having a good time with his friends at lunch.
He then asked Aditya, "Do you like your friends?"
"Yes."
"How many friends do you have?"
"I have two friends, and with another girl, I am done 60%"
"What do you mean?"
"I think I am 60% on the way to be her friend".
"What do you think will take it to 100%"?
"We need to play more. Like today we cracked some jokes about sandwiches, spinach and butternut squash. We did that a lot, but I think we need to do that more".
Gerd said (actually, we are doing our best remembering what he said as we were glued to our seats and forgot to videotape this precious conversation), "It is amazing that you know that and you are even doing that. Now, when we make friends, we want to do something that we like, and something that they like. But no matter what we do, we do it together. So whether it is cracking jokes or something else, when you do something together you are becoming better friends."
A little later.... Gerd said, "Do you know which stage are you in the Son Rise program?"
"Stage 4 stage 5" said Aditya with a blush.
"I want to be done with autism but I also want to play with my Son Rise program friends."
"Well, what if you did not have autism? You could still play with your Son Rise program friends. Do you want that?"
"Yeah I am okay with that." again with a blush.
Aditya also explained why he thinks he has autism. "I have too many bad germs in my gut. Once the good germs take over then I won't have autism."
"And how will you know when they take over?"
NO ONE HAD ASKED ADITYA THAT QUESTION!
"No one exactly know why autism happens, but as an autism expert I can tell you that when you can make friends, you are done with autism. Now... what if you could decide when you will be done with autism?"
Aditya looked delighted.
"Because from here on, it really depends on when you want to be done," said Gerd. "You get to decide when to make your friendship from 60% to 100%. I can teach you some tricks and teach some more tricks to your parents so they can teach you, but in the end it is for you to choose if you want to take it from 60% to 100%. So... when would you like to be done?"
Aditya listened with excitement, and I would imagine, with a sense of empowerment!
We have tried similar direct conversations with him, but Gerd did it in a way we had never been able to. He was loving, accepting, and honest at the same time, always making sure to let Aditya know that it was his choice, whatever way he wanted to go from here!
Gerd then asked who he wanted to play with.
At this point, Aditya showed his social prowess by saying, "You. You have not come to this house before and I want to show you my playroom."
When you are present, loving, accepting, and authentic with a child... any child... you get the most loving invitation to play that you can possibly get from anyone!
After playing with Aditya, Gerd came out and spoke to us, while his volunteer friend Alan went in to play.
Gerd then sat down with us, and made suggestions for new program goals for Aditya, as well as how to more effectively drive our program, including how we can more effectively train and feedback volunteers, given that Aditya is now at such a sophisticated level of social development.
Richa came and played with Aditya, relieving Alan. We asked Gerd to watch her and give her feedback so we could see how to do the feedback in this exciting phase of our program!
And so, that's what Gerd did. First he watched the two play in the playroom. Then he provided some really useful feedback, helpful not only for Richa but even for us, while celebrating all of us, and the little man himself.
And the best part, he allowed Aditya to sit in listening to the feedback!
Not only that, Gerd suggested that even we invite Aditya to sit in the team meetings, training sessions, and feedback sessions!
After all, it's all because Aditya wants to make friends:-) Also, we will not be using the word autism any more in our program. Instead of being called as a child with autism, he will be known just as a different guy.... just like each one of us is a different person too!
We will be our most effective selves if we and Aditya believe that Aditya can do everything he wants! Thus it is not a question of "can he?" but a question of "does he want to?" Anything he wants to do, he can learn and do! Because HE wants to make friends, that is what we are helping him learn!
Thank you Gerd and the rest of the Son Rise program teachers--- specially William and also Kate and Becky, who have been guiding us through this journey all these years!
Thanks to all our team members who have joined us in this exciting journey!
Thank you Son Rise!
Day 1:
I met Gerd at school early Thursday morning, signed him in and introduced him to Aditya's teacher. Dad dropped off both kids to school. It was my aiding day and I was in Shreya's class between recess and lunch. I couldn't help myself but sneak a peek into Aditya's class next door, every once in a while :) After lunch, I was in Aditya's class aiding, with Gerd observing.
Day 2:
We dropped off the kids to school and returned to an exciting day with Gerd. Three hours in the morning, our hearts were filled with joy, pride, relief and at times, disbelief, as we heard Gerd's assessment of Aditya, the teacher, his class and what he thought about the fit.
To sum up everything in a sentence: "If a layman were to observe the class, at the end of the day, he would never be able to identify the child with Autism." This does not mean that he does not have any challenges. But to the untrained eye, he would be indistinguishable! His challenges are mainly seen on the playground, where he has a hard time joining an ongoing game.
A gist of our conversation with Gerd:
"He is one of the most well behaved children in the classroom.. a teacher's dream. He is unbelievably patient, polite .. in everything .. waiting for his turn, speaking, answering others .. pleasant to be around.
Raises his hand and is persistent."
As regards the school .. it is one of the better schools he has seen in all these years, a really good teacher and good fit for him. Woohoo!
What are some of his challenges? At various times during the day he has a challenge self-initiating i.e. finding something to do on his own, when nothing is told, or when there is nothing to do. (Or, there was something to do which our son has finished doing... usually in a breeze, so now there is nothing to do.)
He also rarely initiates conversations with other kids, but is very eager and responsive if they come up to him.
After we got Aditya home from school at lunch, he sat at the table with us and had a wonderful chat with Gerd. It was an eye opener for us how Gerd directly spoke to Aditya about where he is in his journey!
He thanked Aditya for allowing him to watch him the whole day, and then congratulated him on how amazingly well he was doing at school and how he was laughing and having a good time with his friends at lunch.
He then asked Aditya, "Do you like your friends?"
"Yes."
"How many friends do you have?"
"I have two friends, and with another girl, I am done 60%"
"What do you mean?"
"I think I am 60% on the way to be her friend".
"What do you think will take it to 100%"?
"We need to play more. Like today we cracked some jokes about sandwiches, spinach and butternut squash. We did that a lot, but I think we need to do that more".
Gerd said (actually, we are doing our best remembering what he said as we were glued to our seats and forgot to videotape this precious conversation), "It is amazing that you know that and you are even doing that. Now, when we make friends, we want to do something that we like, and something that they like. But no matter what we do, we do it together. So whether it is cracking jokes or something else, when you do something together you are becoming better friends."
A little later.... Gerd said, "Do you know which stage are you in the Son Rise program?"
"Stage 4 stage 5" said Aditya with a blush.
"I want to be done with autism but I also want to play with my Son Rise program friends."
"Well, what if you did not have autism? You could still play with your Son Rise program friends. Do you want that?"
"Yeah I am okay with that." again with a blush.
Aditya also explained why he thinks he has autism. "I have too many bad germs in my gut. Once the good germs take over then I won't have autism."
"And how will you know when they take over?"
NO ONE HAD ASKED ADITYA THAT QUESTION!
"No one exactly know why autism happens, but as an autism expert I can tell you that when you can make friends, you are done with autism. Now... what if you could decide when you will be done with autism?"
Aditya looked delighted.
"Because from here on, it really depends on when you want to be done," said Gerd. "You get to decide when to make your friendship from 60% to 100%. I can teach you some tricks and teach some more tricks to your parents so they can teach you, but in the end it is for you to choose if you want to take it from 60% to 100%. So... when would you like to be done?"
Aditya listened with excitement, and I would imagine, with a sense of empowerment!
We have tried similar direct conversations with him, but Gerd did it in a way we had never been able to. He was loving, accepting, and honest at the same time, always making sure to let Aditya know that it was his choice, whatever way he wanted to go from here!
Since Gerd had put the ball in his court, a contemplative Aditya did some math and said he thought he would be done in 4.3 years since starting his Son Rise program, which would be November 2013. But in a minute, he had revised his estimate to April 2013, and then to "tomorrow". And then in a minute, he got up with a serious face, went towards Gerd, and said, "Let's play!" We all laughed our hearts out as our cute little CEO of his own Son Rise program said those words with authority!
Gerd then asked who he wanted to play with.
At this point, Aditya showed his social prowess by saying, "You. You have not come to this house before and I want to show you my playroom."
When you are present, loving, accepting, and authentic with a child... any child... you get the most loving invitation to play that you can possibly get from anyone!
After playing with Aditya, Gerd came out and spoke to us, while his volunteer friend Alan went in to play.
Gerd then sat down with us, and made suggestions for new program goals for Aditya, as well as how to more effectively drive our program, including how we can more effectively train and feedback volunteers, given that Aditya is now at such a sophisticated level of social development.
Richa came and played with Aditya, relieving Alan. We asked Gerd to watch her and give her feedback so we could see how to do the feedback in this exciting phase of our program!
And so, that's what Gerd did. First he watched the two play in the playroom. Then he provided some really useful feedback, helpful not only for Richa but even for us, while celebrating all of us, and the little man himself.
And the best part, he allowed Aditya to sit in listening to the feedback!
Not only that, Gerd suggested that even we invite Aditya to sit in the team meetings, training sessions, and feedback sessions!
After all, it's all because Aditya wants to make friends:-) Also, we will not be using the word autism any more in our program. Instead of being called as a child with autism, he will be known just as a different guy.... just like each one of us is a different person too!
We will be our most effective selves if we and Aditya believe that Aditya can do everything he wants! Thus it is not a question of "can he?" but a question of "does he want to?" Anything he wants to do, he can learn and do! Because HE wants to make friends, that is what we are helping him learn!
Thank you Gerd and the rest of the Son Rise program teachers--- specially William and also Kate and Becky, who have been guiding us through this journey all these years!
Thanks to all our team members who have joined us in this exciting journey!
Thank you Son Rise!
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Look who's here!
We have not blogged for a while. All this while, we have been primarily focusing on helping Aditya with his skin condition that looks like eczema.
Today, we are getting a much needed boost to our Son Rise program-- an outreach with Senior teacher Gerd Winkler.
As I am writing this, he is observing Aditya in his class (or out on the playground-- as the day goes).
Oh what an exciting day this is!!!
Today, we are getting a much needed boost to our Son Rise program-- an outreach with Senior teacher Gerd Winkler.
As I am writing this, he is observing Aditya in his class (or out on the playground-- as the day goes).
Oh what an exciting day this is!!!
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