This morning, Baba made a deal with Aditya.
"If you help me by peeling off these boiled eggs which I will then take with me to eat for breakfast, then I will return by 5:30pm and play with you."
Aditya happily fulfilled his side of the deal. Pointing to the imperfect (i.e. not round and polished) look of the peeled boiled eggs, he said, "these look funky, but is that okay?"
I said "they look amazing".
Sister does these jobs easily and without fanfare. But what I clearly know is doing something right now and then waiting to get something in exchange for even minutes was a huge challenge for Aditya.
Today, when he made this deal he got nothing in return "right now". He agreed to wait for 10 hours for the result!
Is the other party (me) committed to delivering? Totally. I look forward to an exciting day at work followed by a scenic and slow drive (i.e. there is usually traffic congestion) followed by 30 minutes of play time with Aditya!
Currently though I am enjoying my eggs with coffee. The eggs are extra delicious!
Monday, May 20, 2013
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
He asked me-- "Do you need to be left alone?"
One day, I looked not particularly thrilled as he asked me 3 questions while my wife also said something to me from another room.
I began to speak louder and faster, the kind of voice that suggests "annoyed" to neuro-typical folks.
The cool thing... Aditya suspected that too.
"Do you need my-time? I heard you yell." He asked me, point blank!
By the way, "my time" is an expression we use in our house to describe "time away from everything to decompress".
I replied to him that I did not need "my time", but that I needed to go and answer my wife, and then I could come back to take more questions:-)
What a lesson in using words rather than anger as a communication device!
I began to speak louder and faster, the kind of voice that suggests "annoyed" to neuro-typical folks.
The cool thing... Aditya suspected that too.
"Do you need my-time? I heard you yell." He asked me, point blank!
By the way, "my time" is an expression we use in our house to describe "time away from everything to decompress".
I replied to him that I did not need "my time", but that I needed to go and answer my wife, and then I could come back to take more questions:-)
What a lesson in using words rather than anger as a communication device!
Friday, May 3, 2013
Aditya went to India!
Our family just returned from a 3 week long vacation in India.
The last time we visited was before beginning our Son Rise program in 2009. About 4 years later (6 in case of Baba) we really wanted to take a break and go back to our roots, and enjoy the warmth (literally)!
Of course, Aditya looked so much more ready to handle this exciting and adventurous experience! Along with Shreya, he expressed a strong desire to go!
What did we do in these 3 weeks?
1. Baba took the kids to the place where he spent most of his life before coming to America. Even if no one from our family lives there now, two different neighbors invited us into their house, and showed much excitement about meeting us, plus a curiosity about where we are now and what we do!
2. The kids went on scooter rides with various family members including Aai, Baba, Grandpa, Uncle, Aunt, etc to get milk, newspaper, vegetables etc. The "scooter" is not the kids' scooter but a commonly used 2 wheeler that runs on gas (petrol).
3. Crossed the street holding hands and waving to the oncoming car or bike indicating we were about to cross! Aditya expressed concern around this, and we don't blame him! By the way, he learned to wave to the car!
4. Ate tons of mangoes, and Aditya even plucked some at his grandfather's mango orchard! He used words to get help from the workers!
5. The twins played extensively with their cousin sisters- 6 and 2 year old. The 2 year old expressed her love toward Aditya by grabbing his hair and tickling him. Upset in the beginning over this, Aditya called her mean. In the end though they learned to play with each other simple games like sticking their faces together!
6. Played with kids "downstairs" in our condo community. When Aai and Baba were growing up in India, we never needed play dates. We could go "downstairs" and there would be someone to play! The twins learned first hand what that was like! The kids who allowed Aditya to play cricket with them were especially sweet towards him, allowing him a second chance if he got run out by mistake for example!
7. Played at the local park, using Marathi words to tell another kid not to push him. (The kid said THANK YOU back to him!)
8. Went shopping in crowded places and in hot conditions. You are probably wondering why we are saying this so proudly. Well, we just did everything the way we normally do in India, and Aditya went along with it!
9. Aditya tried his hands at learning Hindi, while sister practically spoke in Marathi all the time!
10. Listened to Hindi songs LIVE on radio.
11. Learned how to pay the fine and get your car back if it got towed for being parked in a "No Parking" zone!
12. Watched IPL cricket games on TV in real time!
13. Shreya played with another 4 year old neighbor! Aditya instead played with grandpa! But in the end even Aditya played with the 4 year old!
14. Aditya asked for permission to play "Wii" when we visited another family that also had an 8 year old who invited him to play "Wii". He had a priceless look when we agreed.
15. Played with the neighbor's cat and fed him!
16. Met with Aai-Baba's old friends and played with their kids.
17. Sang and played Hindi tunes on the guitar much to the delight of his grandparents. (Sometimes he used the guitar to center himself in the middle of chaos!)
18. Aditya Watched "Cars-2" and "Up" in flight. (Our first time letting him watch a movie we had not watched.)
19. Aditya re-learned to use the squatting potty.
Both kids thoroughly enjoyed the vacation, and expressed a strong interest in returning to live in India!
The last time we visited was before beginning our Son Rise program in 2009. About 4 years later (6 in case of Baba) we really wanted to take a break and go back to our roots, and enjoy the warmth (literally)!
Of course, Aditya looked so much more ready to handle this exciting and adventurous experience! Along with Shreya, he expressed a strong desire to go!
What did we do in these 3 weeks?
1. Baba took the kids to the place where he spent most of his life before coming to America. Even if no one from our family lives there now, two different neighbors invited us into their house, and showed much excitement about meeting us, plus a curiosity about where we are now and what we do!
2. The kids went on scooter rides with various family members including Aai, Baba, Grandpa, Uncle, Aunt, etc to get milk, newspaper, vegetables etc. The "scooter" is not the kids' scooter but a commonly used 2 wheeler that runs on gas (petrol).
3. Crossed the street holding hands and waving to the oncoming car or bike indicating we were about to cross! Aditya expressed concern around this, and we don't blame him! By the way, he learned to wave to the car!
4. Ate tons of mangoes, and Aditya even plucked some at his grandfather's mango orchard! He used words to get help from the workers!
5. The twins played extensively with their cousin sisters- 6 and 2 year old. The 2 year old expressed her love toward Aditya by grabbing his hair and tickling him. Upset in the beginning over this, Aditya called her mean. In the end though they learned to play with each other simple games like sticking their faces together!
6. Played with kids "downstairs" in our condo community. When Aai and Baba were growing up in India, we never needed play dates. We could go "downstairs" and there would be someone to play! The twins learned first hand what that was like! The kids who allowed Aditya to play cricket with them were especially sweet towards him, allowing him a second chance if he got run out by mistake for example!
7. Played at the local park, using Marathi words to tell another kid not to push him. (The kid said THANK YOU back to him!)
8. Went shopping in crowded places and in hot conditions. You are probably wondering why we are saying this so proudly. Well, we just did everything the way we normally do in India, and Aditya went along with it!
9. Aditya tried his hands at learning Hindi, while sister practically spoke in Marathi all the time!
10. Listened to Hindi songs LIVE on radio.
11. Learned how to pay the fine and get your car back if it got towed for being parked in a "No Parking" zone!
12. Watched IPL cricket games on TV in real time!
13. Shreya played with another 4 year old neighbor! Aditya instead played with grandpa! But in the end even Aditya played with the 4 year old!
14. Aditya asked for permission to play "Wii" when we visited another family that also had an 8 year old who invited him to play "Wii". He had a priceless look when we agreed.
15. Played with the neighbor's cat and fed him!
16. Met with Aai-Baba's old friends and played with their kids.
17. Sang and played Hindi tunes on the guitar much to the delight of his grandparents. (Sometimes he used the guitar to center himself in the middle of chaos!)
18. Aditya Watched "Cars-2" and "Up" in flight. (Our first time letting him watch a movie we had not watched.)
19. Aditya re-learned to use the squatting potty.
Both kids thoroughly enjoyed the vacation, and expressed a strong interest in returning to live in India!
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
April Fools Day!
Belated Happy Fools Day!
Yesterday morning, Aditya called his grandparents and played an April Fools prank on them! Woo-Hoo!
In other news, Aditya has been playing Wall Ball with other kids in school. When he began doing this a couple of months ago... he did not stand a chance against those veterans!
So we recently began to practice it with him every weekend, both in the backyard as well as in the school playground.
Today, Aditya is hooked on to wall ball, and just like everything else that once seemed extremely challenging for him, he has learned wall ball too... at least he is as good as an average 8 year old now!
Our Son Rise program volunteers now play with him in the back yard too. Actually, it is Aditya who invites them to play Wall Ball in the backyard!
In related news, Sundays have become "family activity" days. On one Sunday we took the twins to the aquarium. On two other weekends, we played a whole host of games in the backyard--- from badminton to cricket to tag to hopping-on-one-foot tag (called "Langdi" in India where Aai-Baba grew up)!
Yesterday morning, Aditya called his grandparents and played an April Fools prank on them! Woo-Hoo!
In other news, Aditya has been playing Wall Ball with other kids in school. When he began doing this a couple of months ago... he did not stand a chance against those veterans!
So we recently began to practice it with him every weekend, both in the backyard as well as in the school playground.
Today, Aditya is hooked on to wall ball, and just like everything else that once seemed extremely challenging for him, he has learned wall ball too... at least he is as good as an average 8 year old now!
Our Son Rise program volunteers now play with him in the back yard too. Actually, it is Aditya who invites them to play Wall Ball in the backyard!
In related news, Sundays have become "family activity" days. On one Sunday we took the twins to the aquarium. On two other weekends, we played a whole host of games in the backyard--- from badminton to cricket to tag to hopping-on-one-foot tag (called "Langdi" in India where Aai-Baba grew up)!
Monday, February 25, 2013
Love of music!
Throughout the day yesterday, Aditya delighted in figuring out and playing on his guitar the kind of Hindi songs that his dad loves to listen to, sing, and play!
(If you know Hindi songs... here is what he was playing:
Hum Tum Se Mile (Rocky), Pyar Humein (Satte Pe Satta), Pehle Pehle Pyar Ki (Great Gambler), Jo Haal Dil Ka (Sarfarosh), Tune Mujhe Pehchana Nahi (Raju Chacha), etc. )
Two years ago, we started bonding over music, cricket, soccer, and a host of other games!
Three years ago, we were not even playing tic-tac-toe together. When we did, it had to be with light bulbs and fans, or tapes and CD's so he could stay "interested" in playing it.
Four years ago, we joined him where he was, and played "draw the microwave" with him. It took 30 microwave ovens for the genius in him to be convinced that it was a perfect design. We had then added a bowl of soup to the microwave. He had gladly approved!
Five or six years ago, we were told by experts that he had autism, and life would never be the same for us!
They said he was relatively high functioning, so he could have a bright future. But by bright future they meant doing what he could do within the "limits" placed by autism. And that there was no way around this reality!
They were wrong. He proved them wrong.
And they were right too. Life was not the same for us after his diagnosis. It became WAY BETTER.
It is way better now than we could have asked for, even before his diagnosis!
And every time I think there is nothing more I can ask for, he keeps making it better:-)
Meanwhile, Shreya is quietly learning the keyboard on her own, and sometimes consults with her brother and friend Aditya about it.
I am grateful, content, delighted!!!
Aditya is also preparing to play his favorite "Banana Phone" song on the keyboard during the upcoming variety show at his school. The reason for the song is not that Aditya is crazy about it, but that I (Baba) am a lot more comfortable with teaching this song. I say this because three years ago, Aditya's only ism was to sing, draw, talk about, and walk with the Banana Phone CD!
(If you know Hindi songs... here is what he was playing:
Hum Tum Se Mile (Rocky), Pyar Humein (Satte Pe Satta), Pehle Pehle Pyar Ki (Great Gambler), Jo Haal Dil Ka (Sarfarosh), Tune Mujhe Pehchana Nahi (Raju Chacha), etc. )
Two years ago, we started bonding over music, cricket, soccer, and a host of other games!
Three years ago, we were not even playing tic-tac-toe together. When we did, it had to be with light bulbs and fans, or tapes and CD's so he could stay "interested" in playing it.
Four years ago, we joined him where he was, and played "draw the microwave" with him. It took 30 microwave ovens for the genius in him to be convinced that it was a perfect design. We had then added a bowl of soup to the microwave. He had gladly approved!
Five or six years ago, we were told by experts that he had autism, and life would never be the same for us!
They said he was relatively high functioning, so he could have a bright future. But by bright future they meant doing what he could do within the "limits" placed by autism. And that there was no way around this reality!
They were wrong. He proved them wrong.
And they were right too. Life was not the same for us after his diagnosis. It became WAY BETTER.
It is way better now than we could have asked for, even before his diagnosis!
And every time I think there is nothing more I can ask for, he keeps making it better:-)
Meanwhile, Shreya is quietly learning the keyboard on her own, and sometimes consults with her brother and friend Aditya about it.
I am grateful, content, delighted!!!
Aditya is also preparing to play his favorite "Banana Phone" song on the keyboard during the upcoming variety show at his school. The reason for the song is not that Aditya is crazy about it, but that I (Baba) am a lot more comfortable with teaching this song. I say this because three years ago, Aditya's only ism was to sing, draw, talk about, and walk with the Banana Phone CD!
Birthday Party!
This is another huge milestone. And we are so grateful for it!
The twins had had their last "conventional" birthday party when they were 4.
Two Sundays ago, they had their latest and greatest birthday party with a group of friends they invited from each of their classes. We held the party at "Airborne Gymnastics"... a place that offers a structured and directed 1 hour gymnastics session for the birthday kids and their friends. The twins had a blast! Especially Shreya who is a big gymnastics enthusiast. Aditya thoroughly enjoyed it too!
The twins had had their last "conventional" birthday party when they were 4.
Two Sundays ago, they had their latest and greatest birthday party with a group of friends they invited from each of their classes. We held the party at "Airborne Gymnastics"... a place that offers a structured and directed 1 hour gymnastics session for the birthday kids and their friends. The twins had a blast! Especially Shreya who is a big gymnastics enthusiast. Aditya thoroughly enjoyed it too!
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Playing with words!
Aditya is doing a lot of word play these days.
1. Rhyming
Apparently, his teacher is the driving force and inspiration behind this. They play a game in school where the kids try putting together rhymes.
Aditya is creating these rhymes ON THE FLY.
e.g. Since I love Mickey Mouse
I can have him in my house
2. Coining brand new ideas... and animals!
While playing with a volunteer where Aditya, the volunteer, and Mickey Mouse went on an animal safari in Africa, he said, "This is a kig." When the volunteer asked him what that meant, he said it is an animal with the face of a cat and sound of a pig!
Oh, and if it is not obvious... our current ism is Mickey Mouse. It is the thing he talks about and plays with when in the playroom.
He is very interactive (i.e. not exclusive), but he always wants to include Mickey in the play, i.e. his only challenge here seems to be needing Mickey Mouse to be part of every activity.
Of course, as we always do in the Son Rise program, we see Mickey Mouse as his motivation, and we USE it to build our play rather than resist it!
As such, we are using a lot of the "Gerd's new way" (Aditya's term) techniques in our play. Aditya is fully aware of and has memorized what the new way is!
Something funny about this... he saw me write "use cliff hangers" on the board while talking to a volunteer. This was a technique to be used by the volunteer, wherein he says something like, "Hey Aditya you know something ... I went to this amazing place yesterday". This is designed to inspire Aditya to be curious and ask him about where he went-- thus practicing how to get to know more about your friend.
Since he saw me write that, he then asked me what it meant. I explained it to him, on which he asked, " Can I use cliff hangers when speaking to kids in my class?"
I laughed but said indeed he could. After a couple days, he told me he actually used that technique with a girl! How inspiring!
1. Rhyming
Apparently, his teacher is the driving force and inspiration behind this. They play a game in school where the kids try putting together rhymes.
Aditya is creating these rhymes ON THE FLY.
e.g. Since I love Mickey Mouse
I can have him in my house
2. Coining brand new ideas... and animals!
While playing with a volunteer where Aditya, the volunteer, and Mickey Mouse went on an animal safari in Africa, he said, "This is a kig." When the volunteer asked him what that meant, he said it is an animal with the face of a cat and sound of a pig!
Oh, and if it is not obvious... our current ism is Mickey Mouse. It is the thing he talks about and plays with when in the playroom.
He is very interactive (i.e. not exclusive), but he always wants to include Mickey in the play, i.e. his only challenge here seems to be needing Mickey Mouse to be part of every activity.
Of course, as we always do in the Son Rise program, we see Mickey Mouse as his motivation, and we USE it to build our play rather than resist it!
As such, we are using a lot of the "Gerd's new way" (Aditya's term) techniques in our play. Aditya is fully aware of and has memorized what the new way is!
Something funny about this... he saw me write "use cliff hangers" on the board while talking to a volunteer. This was a technique to be used by the volunteer, wherein he says something like, "Hey Aditya you know something ... I went to this amazing place yesterday". This is designed to inspire Aditya to be curious and ask him about where he went-- thus practicing how to get to know more about your friend.
Since he saw me write that, he then asked me what it meant. I explained it to him, on which he asked, " Can I use cliff hangers when speaking to kids in my class?"
I laughed but said indeed he could. After a couple days, he told me he actually used that technique with a girl! How inspiring!
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